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From Zero To Scary Eastern-European Lady In Ten Seconds

, , , , , , | Right | July 9, 2023

My manager (and owner) of the little convenience store I work in is a scary old Eastern European lady. Her family franchises a bunch of the stores in the city

I am working a night shift, and [Manager] is in the office Facetiming relatives in her home country. A customer comes in. From his overall swagger and attitude, plus my experience working the night shift, I know he’s going to be trouble.

Customer: “Sup, sexy. I want my smokes, but I don’t want you to be a b**** about the ID.”

Before I can even speak a word, my manager barrels out of the office faster than a woman of her age really should. She suddenly grabs the customer’s arm and forcefully walks him toward the exit.

Manager: “Out! You! Out! You no talk to her that way! She a lady! You talk to her like you talk to your mother!”

They get to the exit, and now the customer is standing outside.

Manager: “We try again, but this time with respect!”

The customer is confused for a second, as he hasn’t finished processing what has just happened. He eventually recovers, sheepishly walks into the store, and says to me:

Customer: “Uh… a pack of [cigarettes], please.”

Me: “May I see your ID, please?”

Customer: “I, uh… I don’t have it. Could I just—”

The customer then looks at my manager, who is standing there, looking stern, hands on her hips.

Customer: “Never mind. I’ll just go.”

It’s great to have a boss who takes no s*** from anyone.


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Karma Can Be Both Good And Bad

, , , , , | Right | July 9, 2023

I am working at the customer service desk. I see a customer power walk out of the store with my manager close behind. She sees the customer leave on a bike, and then she walks over to me, shaking her head and smiling. She then calls the police and gives them some information on the customer that just left. After the call, she turns to me.

Manager: “You’ll never believe what just happened. I just saw one of our customers drop their wallet. I was about to go over to help, but then another customer picked up the wallet, but instead of giving it back, he rushed to the exit!”

Me: “That’s terrible!”

Manager: “But I haven’t told you the best thing! As this jerk was bending down to pick up the wallet, I saw his own wallet fall out of his back pocket! He didn’t even notice!”

Me: “Is that how you knew to give the police those details?”

Manager: *Holding open the thief’s wallet* “Full ID, baby!”

While my manager was filing an incident report with the customer who had their wallet stolen, the police actually showed up with the stolen wallet in hand and the thief in the back seat of their car. My manager and the customer identified him and made a statement, and we continued to laugh at the amazing Karmic coincidence of two wallets falling to the ground that day.

A Blizzard Of Love For Mr. Blizzard

, , , , , , | Healthy | July 9, 2023

CONTENT WARNING: Pet Cancer, Death

 

Our fluffy white cat, Mr. Blizzard, has been battling skin cancer for over six months. Due to his age, other health problems, and the aggressiveness of the cancer we’ve decided to keep him happy and comfortable for however long he has.

The bleeding tumor on his nose has grown large enough that it’s causing obvious pain and interfering with his breathing. We take him to the vet one Monday to discuss Final Arrangements and see if they can give him anything to make him more comfortable for a couple of days while we prepare to say the final goodbye. The great white floof gets a shot of something to help his pain, and we leave.

On Thursday, we return with our beloved cat for the last vet appointment. The staff all visit to say their goodbyes to our kitty boy, and there are tears in the vet’s eyes. He spent a lot of time there during his life, so the staff know and adore him. As we’re waiting for the sleeping drugs to take effect, the vet tells us how much they love our mini white lion.

Vet: “[Groomer] was really upset when we told him about Blizzard. He really loved the big guy. Remember when he was here for that major bowel surgery a few years ago? For the first day, he looked like he’d given up. I was worried we’d lose him. But then, [Groomer] declared, ‘Mr. Blizzard is not dying!’ and marched into the back. [Groomer] petted him and gave him a pep talk and spent a lot of time with him. Mr. Blizzard was perky and eating by the next day, ready to live.”

We’d never heard this story before. We knew the bowel issue nearly killed Mr. B but didn’t know how much extra effort had gone into caring for him. It was a sad day for everyone, but it helped to know just how loved our kitty boy was by everyone at the clinic. Mr. Blizzard crossed the rainbow bridge surrounded by his family and friends.

There Is Customer Service, And Then There Is This

, , , , , , | Right | July 8, 2023

A woman comes in with her son who is maybe twelve years old.

Customer: “Excuse me. I just want to check if something would be all right. My son is on the spectrum, you see, and he doesn’t take to change too well.”

Me: “I think I understand.”

Customer: “Our old sofa is falling apart, and we need to change it. I’ve put it off as long as possible, but I am letting him choose our new sofa. I know it takes a few weeks to order a sofa, so we have to do this now. He’s going to need to sit on every single seat on every single sofa in the store. Will that be okay?”

Me: “Of course! We want to make sure all our customers leave here happy with their purchase!”

So, the mother takes her son around the store, and he does as she said he would. He literally tries every single seat, and he even makes little notes in a notebook about which ones he prefers. We are a large store, and we have almost seventy sofas spread over two large floors, so this takes them over two hours.

I go over to them as they’re nearing the end of their quest, and I speak directly to the boy.

Me: “So, what are the top contenders?”

Boy: “I have taken notes on the top seven so far. I have them all written down in my book, but I won’t know for sure until I spend my Switch time on them.”

Me: “Switch time?”

Customer: “He needs to play his Switch, his uh… Nintendo, to know for sure. He plays for an hour a day, and he always plays in his favorite spot, but we don’t need to do that here. We’ll decide out of these seven he’s chosen and we can go from there.”

Me: *Quietly, away from her son* “Ma’am, would you like him to play his games on the couch so he knows for sure?”

Customer: “That’s very kind of you, but you don’t understand. He wouldn’t be testing it for five minutes or so. He has exactly one hour of screen time, so he would test it for the entire hour. We wouldn’t be able to do all that today, and I wouldn’t want to take up space in your store for my son to just play his game.”

Me: “Ma’am, he wouldn’t just be playing his game, though, would he? We’d be doing all we could to ensure our customer is happy with the sofa that they go home with. Now, we might not be able to spend seven hours here testing each one, but maybe he could use his notes to narrow it down to one or two?”

Customer: “Are you sure?”

Me: “Absolutely, ma’am.”

The mother relays the information to her son, who uses his extensive notes to narrow it down to two sofas. He then gets comfortable on one and starts playing on his Switch while the mother sits nearby and gets stuff done on her phone.

Near the end of this experiment, the store manager comes over to me and asks what’s going on, as they have been in the store for over five hours now and it looks like they’re just chilling on their devices. I explain, and the manager nods with approval and tells me to carry on.

An hour from closing time, the mother and the boy come up to me, and he reads from his notebook.

Boy: “I think we would like [Sofa Model] in [very precise configuration] in [specific upholstery], please.”

The mother nodded in agreement, and I got them started with ordering the sofa. The little boy left with his mother, talking excitedly about the new sofa, and the mother mouthed a huge “thank you” to me as they went.

That mother is so patient and understanding of her little boy, so the least I could do was offer the same patience and understanding for the few hours they were in the store.


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Either Way, It Adds Up To An Asset

, , , , , , | Working | July 8, 2023

I’m doing a job interview for a pretty standard retail working position. There’s a collection of bulls*** questions that we’re required to ask and document the answer to as part of standardizing the hiring process.

I have an applicant in front of me.

Me: “What’s your greatest strength?”

Applicant: “I’m very fast at math. Ask me a math problem.”

Humoring her, I ask:

Me: “What’s seven plus fifteen?”

She responds almost instantly.

Applicant: “Three.”

Me: “That’s… not the answer.”

Applicant: “No, but it was fast, wasn’t it?”

I laughed. I hired her. A sense of humor is a useful skill working retail.