(I go to a religious school, and once a week we have a chapel service; we sing hymns and listen to something of a sermon, that sort of thing. One day, the student body president gives a little talk about the importance of always doing what’s right, because God wants us to.)

Student Body President: “The other day, I saw a ninth-grader picking up some litter when no one else was around. She didn’t know I saw her; she was cleaning up just because it’s the right thing to do, not for any reward or recognition. You see, it’s important to always do the right thing. After all, who’s always watching?”

The Crowd: “[Student Body President] is always watching!”

(I work in a community pharmacy. I cannot tell you how many times I have heard this story in some variation, as have my staff and coworkers in this field.)

Patient: *comes up to the counter* “Hi, I need to fill my medication.”

Clerk: “Oh, of course. Which medication did you need today?”

Patient: “I don’t know; it’s on my profile.”

(The clerk reviews the patient’s profile, which has more than 25 prescriptions dating back years.)

Clerk: “Do you know which one? There’s a bit of a list on your profile.”

(At this point, they will usually say one of two things:)

Patient: “I don’t know. Just fill all of them.”

(Or…)

Patient: “It’s the white pill.”

(This is where the clerk will grab one of the pharmacists.)

Pharmacist: “I’m sorry, sir, but we can’t just fill everything on your profile, as we don’t know which of these medications you take or have stopped taking.”

(Also, the staff hate having to fill a dozen or more prescriptions, only for the patient to say they need one or two of them; the rest we have to put back, wasting all the time and effort we needed to fill.)

Pharmacist: “Do you know what you take it for? Diabetes? Blood pressure?”

Patient: “I don’t know. It’s the white pill.”

Pharmacist: “Most of the pills on your profile are white. Do you know how many times you take it? Was it big or small? The first letter of the name or the doctor who wrote it?”

Patient: “How am I supposed to know?! You’re the pharmacist! You should know this! IT’S A WHITE PILL! I KNOW IT’S ON THE COMPUTER!”

Pharmacist: “Sir, I need a little more information to go on than just the color. Here’s our card; you can go home, find it, and then call it in. Or bring the bottle with you next time and we can help you more.”

(The patient stomped off. Seriously, if you come to the pharmacy, please know something about what you want to pick up. The vast majority of all the pills on the shelf are white. Bring the bottle, take a picture of the bottle, write down the name. Something!)

(The restrooms in our restaurant are near the front entrance. There is a large sign with red neon letters above the doors that says, “Restrooms.” The doors also say, “Men’s Room,” and, “Ladies’ Room.” I happen to be walking past them when a young woman approaches me.)

Guest: “Excuse me, sir. Do you have restrooms here?”

(Thinking she is joking, I glance behind me at the doors and then up at the sign. I turn back to her and shrug.)

Me: “Nope. Sorry.”

Guest: “Oh, okay. Thanks, anyway!”

(She turned and left the restaurant, leaving me quite confused.)

(I work at a leased department inside a major department store whose slogan is to create magic for those who shop there. I don’t work for this major retailer, but I often will help their customers when things slow down. This happens after I finish with my customer:)

Customer: “I just want these.”

Me: “I’m sorry, I can’t ring these items; I can walk them to another register with you if you’d like.”

Customer: “How dare you be so rude to me? I demand you ring these, now!”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am. I work for a leased department so I’m not an employee of [Store], but they can help you at the next register.”

Customer: “FINE! Let me at least pay my bill!”

Me: “Sure, I’d be glad to do that; I can only accept cash or debit. My check reader isn’t working at the moment.”

Customer: “You are horrible. You won’t ring me and refuse to accept my check. Get me a manager!”

(I call a manager from the department store and explain the situation to the manager. The managers are often reluctant to show up, because we don’t work for them. Thankfully, one does show up.)

Manager: “I understand there has been a misunderstanding.”

Customer: “This b**** won’t ring me up or take my payment!”

Manager: “She doesn’t actually work for [Department Store] so she doesn’t ring our items. [Department Store] employees will be happy to help you there. As far as the payment, we can take cash or debit, because the work ticket shows that the check machine is down. So, how would you like to pay?”

Customer: “I filled out this check, so take my check here and now!”

(This goes on for a few minutes longer before I lose my cool.)

Me: “Lady! You’re not listening! I can’t abracadabra the machine to take your check. You could’ve been done had you taken it to another register. Or do you enjoy arguing?”

Customer: *throws the items in her hands at us and storms out*

Manager: “Had you worked for us, I would have had to write you up. But since you don’t—” *hands me a voucher* “—enjoy lunch on us.”

(Best, argument, ever! Thank you, miserable lady!)

A regular customer — who is always a bit difficult to deal with anyway — came in one day and paid for services with a debit card. He asked several times to be sure we ran the card as debit and not credit, used the PIN pad as is typical of a debit transaction, and left.

About a week later, he came back in absolutely furious that however we’d run his card made the bank take money out of his account. He absolutely refused to listen to the explanation of how debit cards work, and he stormed out.