Your Credit Is In A (Hot)Spot Of Bother

, , , , , , , | Right | November 28, 2017

(I am a supervisor with 20 employees under my charge. We handle cellular service billing questions. When the situation arises, I take their escalated calls. This particular customer needs a credit for some overage charges, and by policy doesn’t rate a credit.)

Me: “Thank you for calling. My name is [My Name] and I’m a supervisor for [Company].”

Customer: “Yeah, I need my overages credited this instant. I never used this much data before, and I need it credited.”

(The customer has a significant amount of overage that is more than I make every two weeks.)

Me: “I will gladly take a look at the account and see what’s causing the overage.”

Customer: “Yeah, you better! I’m not paying for this!”

Me: “Sir, I can definitely understand the frustration. If you just give me a second…”

(I bring up the customer’s account, look over every detail, and notice he has his phone set as a mobile hotspot, meaning he is using his phone as a Wi-Fi router.)

Me: “Okay, sir, I notice you have your hotspot turned on.”

Customer: “Yeah, I know. I know it’s protected; no one is stealing my data. Just tell me why I’m going over and credit it.”

Me: “I can not credit it unless it’s a malfunction with the phone or feature. I’d like to ask a couple of questions.”

(The customer at this point is sighing, and I see that his data usage is rising.)

Customer: “FINE! Ask all the f****** questions you need!”

Me: “What do you use your hotspot for?”

Customer: “Xbox. I use it to play games online. What else should I use it for?”

Me: “Wait, what?”

Customer: “I use it to game online, and Netflix.”

Me: “So, I found the problem. You’re using it for Xbox, which will eat up the data like PacMan eats pellets, and because of that, I will not credit the overage.”

Customer: “WHAT THE F*** DO YOU MEAN YOU CAN’T CREDIT THE OVERAGE?! HOW THE F*** AM I GOING TO PAY FOR THIS?! FINE! I WON’T PAY MY BILL!”

Me: “Well, then, sir, it will go into collections, and ruin your credit.”

Customer: “I DON’T F****** CARE! I’M RICH! DO YOU HEAR ME?!”

Me: “Then you shouldn’t have a problem paying it.”

Customer: “I NEED TO FIX THIS! WHO CAN FIX THIS AND GIVE ME MY CREDIT?!”

(At this point I’m getting really annoyed at the customer, and just want the call to end.)

Me: “Microsoft.”

(At this point the customer knew they weren’t getting the credit and hung up the phone.)

That Went From Joke To Joker Super Fast

, , , , | Working | November 28, 2017

Coworker: *to the manager* “Haha! You lost your voice.”

Manager: “Yeah? Well, you lost your height!” *our coworker is short*

Me: “I think you sound like Batman!”

Manager: “That’s because I am Batman.”

Me: “Well, then, that means you lost your parents.”

Manager: “That’s dark.”

Digger-ing Yourself Into A Hole

, | Healthy | November 28, 2017

(I am at the pharmacy to pick up a prescription that was called in.)

Tech: “Can I help you?”

Me: “I need to pick up for [Last Name].”

Tech: *types into computer* “First name?”

Me: “Digger.”

Tech: “Digger?”

Me: “Yes.”

(The tech give me a funny look and goes into the back. He returns with the medicine in hand.)

Tech: “So, you can’t drive while taking this. Also, you cannot drink alcohol while taking this. I will need you to sign saying you understand those restrictions.”

Me: *laughing* “No problem.”

Tech: “I need a date of birth.”

Me: “October 2015. I don’t know the day.”

Tech: “You don’t know your child’s birthdate?”

Me: “It’s not my child.”

Tech: “I’m not going to be able to fill this.”

Me: “I need the pharmacist. Now.”

(The pharmacist comes out and asks what the problem is.)

Tech: “She’s picking up this medicine but she doesn’t know the birthdate and then she says it isn’t her child.”

Pharmacist: *takes bag and reads label* “Look at this name.”

(The tech looks and still doesn’t seem to understand.)

Pharmacist: “The patient is named Digger K9 [Last Name]. That means it’s for her dog. Lots of people don’t know their dog’s birthday.”

Tech: “How was I supposed to know?”

Pharmacist: “I’ll finish this. Go wait in the office for me.”

(When I went to get his refill, the same tech handled the transaction. He commented that it was a really big dose for a toddler. Pretty sure whatever the pharmacist said — it didn’t help.)

The Baby You Need, Not The Baby You Deserve

, , , | Right | November 28, 2017

(I work at a toy store that sells three-foot-tall Batman figures. I am reorganizing the aisles and as I finish with one, I move on to the next. There is a little girl, probably two years old, standing there holding one of the aforementioned Batman figures — which is barely bigger than she is — in a hug. She notices me coming around the corner and says this:)

Little Girl: “This is my baby!”

Me: “Batman’s your baby?”

Little Girl: “Yes!”

(Easily one of the cutest moments I’ve ever seen in that store.)

Let’s Try A New “Approach”

, , , , | Working | November 28, 2017

(We have a new manager transferred in. His old store is more than twice the size of our store and much busier than ours. He starts working during the first day of our in-house inventory, so we have our whole staff in for a meeting.)

Manager: “My first goal here is to make our customer service polls the highest in the company! In my old store, we had a ‘ten foot rule.’ If a customer is within ten feet of you, you must approach them and ask them how they are doing or if they need any help. From now on, this is the rule of this store! Approach every customer, whether you are here on your normal shift or helping with inventory.”

(For the first couple hours we are open, he coaches us on this ten foot rule, scolding us for not doing it even when customers have just spoken to different employees. His rationale is that maybe the customer didn’t want to talk to one employee, but would feel more comfortable talking to a different one. He has us re-approach customers who stepped out of the ten foot radius and came back. He has us approach customers who are actively being helped by another employee. Soon, every employee is dropping counting stock dozens of times to greet each customer, and the new manager seems happy. The next morning though, he is upset at the staff meeting.)

Manager: “I’m really disappointed in you guys. I did informal interviews yesterday on customers leaving the stores, and I got a ton of complaints about the same thing! Customers felt hassled by the sales team. Here, let me read you this comment card: “Every few seconds an employee was talking to me. I couldn’t shop because I couldn’t think.” Plus we are way behind on our counts for inventory. Now, I have no idea why this happened, but I’m willing to take suggestions.”

Me: “Well, it’s probably because you have a 600-square-foot store with twelve employees working who are all talking to every customer multiple times.”

(The other employees agree with me.)

Manager: “Are you saying this was my fault? Okay, I’ll tell you what. We will do things your way today and see how well it works, but when this fails, there will be consequences!”

(We did so. Sales staff helped customers, inventory staff worked on inventory and directing questions appropriately, and we scored a near perfect on our customer polls that day. The manager retransferred soon afterward.)

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