Unfiltered Story #174562

, , | Unfiltered | November 2, 2019

(I work in a factory cafeteria. We serve production workers as well as office workers. I should also add that I work in a factory that makes medical parts. Medical parts that go inside of your body.)

Me: *refilling our supply of milks in the cooler*
Customer: Hi, are those cold?
Me: *thinking ‘and you are an engineer?*

(Sadly, this has been asked on more than one occasion. I’m slightly concerned about these people. I hope they are just working too hard and not think we store the milk someplace other than a cooler.)

Unfiltered Story #168970

, , | Unfiltered | October 5, 2019

A very nice young man comes every morning to my cafeteria for breakfast, usually a bagel or salad. If there is no one in line, he always asks about my health or what have I done during weekend. Now, as the summer ended, we replaced the ice cream machine with a grill, and we are selling deep fried pork. He can´t have enough of it. Today, just as he was putting another heaping on his plate, he shot me a look:
Customer: “Mrs.(My name), did anybody every referred to you as “femme fatale”?”
Me (taken aback): “Uh…no…never! Why?”
Customer (in tragic voice): “Because my fate is apprently to die of overeating AND IT IS ON YOU!”

Unfiltered Story #163313

, , | Unfiltered | September 18, 2019

(We recently underwent a remodel and haven’t had our TV put back up yet. Typically my boss puts on the film Gladiator when we have this lunch special, so I’ve been listening to the soundtrack)

Customer: Is this Gladiator?
Me: Yeah. (I explain about the TV)
Customer: (as he’s leaving) Strength and honor!

These Days You Have To Fight Packs Of Wild Dogs To Find Your True Love

, , , , , | Romantic | September 9, 2019

(I am having lunch with a colleague and we’ve been talking about our plans for the weekend. I mentioned someone is cooking dinner for me, and my colleague has guessed it’s a date. She’s trying to get information out of me about the person — particularly how we met — and I’m reluctant to share. I’m female and also prone to getting into weird accidents.)

Colleague: “You know, if you made something up, I wouldn’t be this interested.”

Me: “I realise this in hindsight.”

Colleague: “I’m just going to guess.”

Me: *sensing she’s not being entirely serious* “That’s fine.”

Colleague: “Okay. He’s got a criminal record.”

Me: “I don’t think so. Hasn’t come up.”

Colleague: “Darn, okay. Um. He saved you from wild dogs and that’s how you met?”

Me: “Nope.”

Colleague: “He got into a drunk fight with someone and you’re a bit embarrassed about it.”

Me: “Also no.”

Colleague: “You saved him from wild dogs and–”

Me: “Where did wild dogs come from? What do you think I do in my spare time?”

Colleague: “You lead an interesting life.”

Me: “Not that interesting!”

Colleague: “You really don’t want to say? It can’t be that bad, you know.”

(I weigh it up. I really like this colleague and trust her so I decide to go for it)

Me: “If I tell you, promise you’ll keep it to yourself for now?”

Colleague: “Yes, sure.”

Me: “I’m dating a woman.”

Colleague: “That actually was going to be my next guess.”

(In fairness, I’d assumed until meeting that person that I was straight — and am now coming to terms with my identity — so it isn’t that obvious a thing for her to guess. But I do still have one question…)

Me: “Out of interest, assuming you were asking in order of most to least likely, why was fighting wild dogs more likely than me turning out not to be entirely straight?”

Colleague: “I can just really picture that happening to you.”

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Unfiltered Story #162076

, , | Unfiltered | September 8, 2019

(This happened to a girl in front of me in line. Proof there are good people in the world.)
Cashier: I’m sorry, the computer won’t take your card. Do you have another form of payment?
Girl: I…No, I don’t. *getting visibly distraught*
Casheir: I’ll pay for you. *takes out personal debit card and swipes it*
Girl: No, I couldn’t let you!
Cashier: Don’t worry about it. I want to!
Girl: Thank you… Thank you so much!