I’m currently working in a college dining hall. During the school year, we feed students, but during the summer we play host to all kinds of conferences and camps. We have a grill, a comfort food entree, a vegan entree, pizzas, and a salad bar, all buffet-style, serve yourself. The salad bar is your standard fare buffet salad bar you’ve seen basically anywhere that has a salad bar.

The group we’re currently hosting is a nightmare. All incredibly entitled, rude, and needy. The week has had numerous stupid interactions, but this one I overheard between a guest and my supervisor takes the cake:

Guest: “Your salad bar doesn’t have any food!”

Supervisor: “Oh, I’m sorry, we try to make sure everything is stocked up. What is out? I can have someone go refill it right now!”

Guest: “No, I mean… It’s just like lettuce and vegetables and stuff!”

Supervisor: *Incredulously.* “…Yes, ma’am. You’ve just described a salad bar.”

At that, she huffed, then flounced off. Some say she still doesn’t understand what a salad bar is to this day.

Hawaii is very environmentally forward, or at the very least, it’s trying to be. Recently, in the spirit of this, a small change was made in the cafeteria at my job. As is the case with most cafeterias these days, my building made the switch from metal utensils to the “easier to handle” plastic ones sometime in the mid-2000’s. At the time, it presented a nice change from having hundreds of forks, spoons, and knives that required washing and maintenance.

Very recently, the admin decided that we’d be switching over to biodegradable utensils, you know… for the environment. The problem is that they went with the cheapest option that they could stock all three buildings with right away.

Something in the utensils they selected made the food taste… strange… which led to a lot of complaints from all three business centers. Some people think this was a ploy to get us to bring our own reusable sets. Well, if it was, then it worked because many people did.

Today I walked in for breakfast, a little sad that I had forgotten my own set of reusables. I had resigned myself to the fact that I’d have to use chopsticks all day, but then, I noticed that the weird brown forks were gone. In their place were white plastic forks, individually wrapped in plastic bags.

Me: “New forks?”

Cafeteria Worker: “Yeah, too many complaints.”

Me: “So, a different biodegradable option?”

Cafeteria Worker: “Nope, just plastic again.”

Me: “Oh… but they are individually wrapped?”

Cafeteria Worker: “Mmmmhmmm.”

Me: “Are the bags biodegradable?”

Cafeteria Worker: “No.”

Me: “So… now we’re using like two times the amount of plastic we were using before?”

Cafeteria Worker: “Mmmmhmmm.”

Me: “When we made the change to reduce our plastic usage—”

Cafeteria Worker: “—Look, man, I just scoop eggs.”

Me: “You’ve had this conversation before hav—”

Cafeteria Worker: “—You’re the 12th… this morning.”

Me: “Scrambled eggs, please.”

Cafeteria Worker: *Clapping his hands.* “That’s more like it!”

I worked in a cafeteria on campus at my university. It was wonderful because I could take shifts around lectures and didn’t lose time travelling. The manager used to sit in her office on the phone or just disappear for long periods of time. I didn’t mind because I liked my other coworkers, and she left us alone to do our thing. I always volunteered to do the closing shift because the owner let me take home all the leftover food; it basically kept me and my housemates alive, and we were very grateful.

The problem was that, on a five-hour or longer shift, you had to take a thirty-minute break. I’d always ask:

Me: “When is my break?”

Manager: “Later! It’s too busy!”

I’d usually end up just working the whole five hours.

I didn’t mind until I realised she was only paying me for four and a half! I asked her about it, and she said:

Manager: “If you didn’t take your breaks, that’s not my problem.”

My next closing shift was four and a half hours during opening hours, and then finishing tasks half an hour after closing. Everyone else would leave at 7 PM, and I would stay back by myself to clean everything in thirty minutes. It was a big job, but I had it down pat.

The entire shift, I kept asking her:

Me: “Can I take my break?”

Manager: “No!”

So, at 7 PM, I took my apron off and walked out, saying:

Me: “I’ll be taking my break now, since we were too busy before.”

I sat in the cafeteria and watched her clean that entire place. It took her well over an hour. 

The next day, she had a break schedule up!

I feel like anyone who has ever worked retail can relate to this. You go to the job, and they tell you all the rules and things you can and can’t do. Until a customer gets upset and gets a manager, and then the manager comes over like “oh, how could you not allow this sweet lady to do this?” and uses their manager override to allow the customer to do whatever they want. Making them look like the hero and you look like the angry employee who didn’t let them do what they wanted.

Back when I worked retail, I had this happen countless times.

Me: “This meal doesn’t come with cornbread, that’ll be an extra dollar fifty.”

The manager comes over and gives them cornbread.

Me: “The discount you are talking about was for a sale that ended two days ago, sorry.”

They get angry at you, and the manager comes over and gives them the discount anyway.

I got super fed up with this and kept track of EVERYTHING a manager let happen. If a manager one time let a customer buy this for this amount of money. Every single time a customer asked about it, I would call the manager over and get him to override it.

The moment a customer came in and asked for something clearly against policy, I would just call that manager over and make him override and say, “he does this all the time” to the customer. 

It happened so often that he had a meeting and got reprimanded by corporate. He mentioned me by name as the one who does it, and when questioned, I told them the same thing.

Me: “He did it all the time before, and I just assumed that he, as the manager, was doing the right thing.”

He wasn’t fired or anything, but he stopped folding in front of customers and making me look like the jerk. 

I’ll never understand why managers never back up their employees on store policy.

I’m at the campus café with a group of friends, some American, some international. We’re all chatting between classes when the conversation turns to stereotypes.

American Student #1: “It’s so annoying. Everyone overseas thinks Americans are just fat, dumb, gun-toting rednecks.”

American Student #2: “Seriously. Like, do they even know how big the U.S. is? Not everyone’s like that.”

Across the table, our Finnish friend starts giggling into her coffee.

American Student #1: “What’s so funny?”

Finnish Friend: “Sorry, sorry, it’s just… in Finland, the biggest jar of mayonnaise we sell is 600 grams.”

Us: “Okay?”

Finnish Friend: “It’s literally called ‘AMERICAN SIZE.'”

The table goes silent. Then we all burst out laughing, especially the Americans.

American Student #1: “Seriously, though, why not just call it large?”

Finnish Friend: “We have a large! American size just needs its own category.”

American Student #2: *In a corny advertising voice.* “When we say, ‘American Size,’ we don’t mean ‘big.’ We mean ‘concerning.'”