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Eating Disorderly

, , , | Right | October 26, 2010

(A customer has just purchased some tickets and they’ve just been given their tickets.)

Customer: “Oh, before I go… if I eat my ticket, can you replace it?”

Me: “Uh, eat… your ticket?”

Customer: “Yes, I eat things, I can’t help myself.”

Me: “If you eat your ticket, then keep your receipt and we’ll be happy to replace your ticket.”

Customer: “Oh, okay thanks!”

(The customer walks away and then pauses and comes back to the ticket desk.)

Customer: “What if I eat my receipt and my ticket?”

Me: “Please don’t.”

Customer: “Oh, okay. Thanks!”


This story is part of the Even-Stranger-Customers roundup! This is the last story in the roundup, but we have plenty of others you might enjoy!

23 Weird And Funny Stories About The Strangest Customers Ever

 

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Touchscreen Has-beens

, , , | Right | October 25, 2010

(I and another colleague are talking to two elderly ladies.)

Lady #1: “You could just help us with one more thing.”

Lady #2: “You see that red button in the corner of the screen?”

(They indicate the interactive red button that accesses extra services, which you press on your remote.)

Me: “Yes?”

Lady #1: “Well, the TV says to press it and nothing happens. Actually, let’s see if it works now!”

([Lady #1] presses the red button and nothing happens. I immediately see the problem.)

Lady #1: “You see! Your TVs are broken, too!”

Lady #2: “Oh, it’s working now.”

Me: “I’ve just pressed the red button on the remote. Not on the screen.”

A Brief Question

, , , , | Right | October 20, 2010

(I am working in a lingerie department and a male customer approaches me.)

Customer: “Hi, I need help with something.”

Me: “Sure what are you looking for?”

Customer: “I need a bra for my wife.”

(We go through different types and styles.)

Me: “So what size is she?”

Customer: “What do you mean?”

Me: “Is she an A, B, C? How big is her back size?”

Customer: “Well she’s smaller than you, not that you’re not pretty!”

Me: “Right, okay. Is she the same shape as any of the other girls here?”

(Finally, we find a 32C bra and he wanders off happy. Ten minutes later he comes back up to me, slightly flustered.)

Customer: “I can’t find 32C panties!”

When You Don’t Want A Quick Service

, , , | Right | October 14, 2010

Customer: “I’d like to take my wife’s name off the account. She’s leaving me.”

Me: “I’m sorry to hear that. It looks like your wife has already called us to do that. Is there anything else I can help you with?”

Customer: “Oh, no, it’s just all so quick. She only told me on Wednesday night and now she’s gone.”

(I check the account history and see she called us early on Tuesday. I thought it best not to tell the customer.)

You’ll Have To Connect At Baked Alaska

, , , , | Right | October 6, 2010

Me: “Hi, would you like to buy a ticket?”

Customer: “Yes, when is your next flight to Oregano?”

Me: “Oregano?”

Customer: “Yeah, it’s in America. I think it’s a state?”

(On my computer, I find the Wikipedia page for Oregano.)

Customer: “Oh… I’m not dumb, I swear…”