(A VERY drunk WHITE guy comes in five minutes before closing time.)
White Guy: “F*** you! You’re not going to serve me are you?”
Me: “Nope, sorry, we’re just closing.”
White Guy: “Awww, go on, please… just a quick pint!”
Me: “No, we’re closing.”
White Guy: “F*** you, is it because I’m black?”
Me: “…Yes.”
(A female comes into the bar and asks to use the toilets.)
Me: “Sorry, toilets are for customer use only.”
Her: “I just started my period. If you don’t let me use the toilet, I’m going to bleed all over your floor.”
Me: “First door on the left.”
(It’s lunchtime at a busy shopping center fast food restaurant. Holding a large box of straws, I walk out toward the customers’ side of the registers to refill all the straw holders.)
Me: “Excuse me, sir…”
(I walk up beside the customer, still giving him some space despite the fact that it is busy and crowded.)
Angry Customer: “To h*** with that crap. Why do you get to go first? I’ve been waiting here for TEN MINUTES!”
Me: “I’m just…”
Angry Customer: “You’re just impatient; that’s your problem. Wait in line like the rest of us.”
(A lot of other customers are staring at him. He has clearly not even realized I am in uniform.)
Me: “Sorry, sir. I work here and I need to refill these straws. A lady complained before because all the straw holders had run out.”
Angry Customer: “Well, why are you doing that NOW? Couldn’t you have picked a better time to do it?! I lined up here and all I want is a lousy meal and you’re in my way…” *continues on and on*
Me: “Look, it’s our policy to not hand out straws because of hygiene reasons, so I must refill the straws so the customers can take them themselves so they can, you know, drink?”
Angry Customer: *loudly* “You’re very rude. I want to talk to your manager immediately!”
Me: *sarcastically, as he has not noticed “MANAGER” on my name badge* “Hi, I am the manager on duty. My name is [My Name]. What seems to be the problem?”
(Other customers nearby giggle.)
Angry Customer: “Well, that’s just f****** great. What a piece of s*** place anyway. F***!”
(He stormed off after wasting about fifteen minutes of his life over some straws.)
This story is part of the Wrong But Committed Customers roundup!
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Customer: “How cold is the Extra-Cold Guinness?”
Me: “Colder than the regular Guinness.”
Customer: “Okay, I’ll try it.”
(Customer takes a sip of his pint.)
Customer: “It just tastes like regular Guinness, but colder!”
Me: “…yup.”
(I was working in the seasonal section of a large bulk retail chain. It was Christmas time and we sold large sets of decorative houses with lights in them.)
Customer: “Hi, I would like to purchase one of these…” *points to a house set* “…but there aren’t anymore underneath it. Where are the others stored?””
(I use my price gun to check the quantities of said item.)
Me: “I’m sorry, it appears we are sold out.”
Customer: “Well, then, I’ll just take this one.” *points to the display unit*
Me: “Oh, that’s just a display unit. That one isn’t for sale.”
Customer: “Why not?”
Me: “This is one of those specific items that we are given a temporary display unit from the vendor that we have to send back at the end of the season.”
Customer: “So why can’t I buy it?”
Me: “Well, it’s not ours to sell. It is rented from the people who made the set.”
Customer: “I don’t understand why I can’t buy it!”
Me: “It does not belong to us. We cannot sell what does not belong to us.”
Customer: “Why not?”
Me: “What kind of car do you drive?”
Customer: “A 2000 Focus. Why?”
Me: *to a passing customer* “Sir, would you like to buy a 2000 Focus?”
Customer: “What are you doing?”
Me: “Selling your car.”
Customer: “Why? It’s MY car!”
Me: “Well, I didn’t think ownership made a difference to you.”
(She then stormed off to talk to a manager who told her I would be taken care of. He then proceeded to buy me a piece of pizza for making his day.)
This story is part of the Christmas Day roundup!
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