Working Here Beats The Humanity Out Of You

, , , , | Working | November 28, 2017

(I am calling a computer company in regards to paying my bill. A pre-recorded message picks up.)

Message: “[Business]. For help servicing your computer, press one. For setting up an appointment, press two. For pricing information, press three. To speak to any available human, press zero.”

(I stop and look at the phone a few seconds, then proceed to press zero.)

Employee: “Hello, [Employee] speaking. Thank you for calling [Business]. How can I help you?”

Me: “Hi, is this a human?”

(Long silence.)

Employee: “I think so.”

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A Gun Law That Actually Works

, , , , , , | Working | November 27, 2017

(I am in law enforcement and I am at a job recruiting fair with a partner. We are strictly hiring for law enforcement officers, and we tell people this.)

Man: “So, can I still be hired if I have a felony on my record?”

Partner: “No.”

Man: “Why not?”

Partner: “Let me put it to you this way; as a convicted felon, can you buy a firearm?”

Man: “Well… No.”

Partner: “So, then, why would we give you one?”

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Unfiltered Story #101057

, | Unfiltered | November 27, 2017

I go into the electronics store a few times a month and got to know most of the staff. Now I’m wheelchair-bound and my beard is iron grey and white so I’m pretty distinctive. A few days ago they hired a bunch of new people for the holidays. Since I’ve been looking for a new PC game I was going through their display when one of these very young employees approached:
Employee: “Looking for a game for your grandson?”
Me: “I’m sorry?” Just blown away by the question.
Employee: “You know, video games? Computer games?”
Me: “Oh!” Catching on that due to my age he was under the impression that I was too old to know video games. “No, I don’t know much about them things… Can you explain them?”
Employee: Well people play these games on these machines…”
Me: Oh! Like the ones with the typewriters hooked up to the TV’s?”
Employee: “Yes! Exactly! They use the computer and these things called programs…”
This actually went on for a good five minutes of him explain to an old cripple like me all about these newfangled contraptions called PCs. Unfortunately, for me but fortunate for the employee, a manager started overhearing the conversation and came over to investigate. I see her walk up behind this clueless employee silently dying with laughter and has to wipe away tears before she lets her presence known.
Manager: “Um, why are you talking to him like he is clueless as to what computers and games are? He makes half the backgrounds, screensavers, and custom content for most of the games we carry. He is the last person you ever want to treat like that.”
Employee: “You can’t be serious. I mean isn’t he a little too… You know… to know much about games?”
Me: “You mean, I’m too old to know much about games?” I filled in the blank for him. “I’m too old to know much about skins, meshes, animations and the like?”
Employee: “Ummm, well I just saw you looking there and I didn’t know.”
Manager: “Maybe you’ve learned a bit of a lesson in preconceived notions and jumping to conclusions and hopefully a little about discrimination of age.”
Employee: “Well… I’ve gotta take care of something…” And away he ran!
The second he was far enough away the manager busted out laughing again and asked how long I was going to keep the kid on the hook. I told her just a couple of more minutes because I was having too much fun with him. That kid will never hear the end of his gaffe and I may immortalize it in my next DLC… I’ll just leave his name out of it.

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Unfiltered Story #100618

, , | Unfiltered | November 26, 2017

(I recently got home from an overseas trip. On the flight back I caught a fever and started having stomach issues. A few days later I had to switch out with my father when driving because I didn’t feel like I could both drive and focus on breathing. I’ve always had asthma, but usually only have had issues when exercising and breathing very cold air. However, this is the second event in around a month where I couldn’t identify a trigger and the breathing problems lasted for a long time. The first time I went to the emergency room, was told it was a panic attack and was sent home. When things didn’t clear up, I went to the school clinic where they said it was my asthma – not a spasm like I was used to, but inflammation – and gave me medication. Things cleared up. Because it is only a little after New Year’s, my mom doesn’t think our GP can fit us in quickly enough, so we head to an emergency clinic. Our new insurance only allows us to go to one chain in the area, and it’s 30 minutes away. There isn’t a doctor available, so we confirm we are fine with seeing the head nurse. I’m used to journalling some aspects of my health due to things like adult onset allergies, and have written specifics of the start and stop of the symptoms in a notebook, along with details from the other attack. Sometimes I also have difficulty speaking because of my focusing on my breathing.)

Mom: She’s been having trouble breathing. We were here a couple days ago because she had a stomach bug.

Nurse: Can you describe when this started?

Me: Um, I noticed I had to focus to breathe. I was really aware of my breathing. It started last night, I guess? Um-

Me: I wrote it down, if it’s easier.

(I hand her the notebook. She looks through it, but she looks skeptical.)

Nurse: Ok, I know what’s going on here. Honey, you’re having a panic attack.

Me: I don’t think it’s a panic attack! It happened before around a month ago. I have asthma-

Nurse: The emergency guys thought that was a panic attack too. Listen, I know you don’t want to hear this, but this is in your brain.

(This sets me off for multiple reasons, one of which being I DO have anxiety, but it is controlled and not the kind that results in panic attacks. Another being that I’ve been misdiagnosed with “stress pains” by my father’s urologist – checking for kidney stones – when we later found out I had some muscle issues in that area that were easily taken care of with physical therapy. I should also note my mother has been making some comments, but I can’t exactly remember them. She’s mostly worried.)

Me: But the other doctor said it was asthma! I’ve had people dismiss things like this before! But when it was checked out by someone else they found something! I have anxiety, but I get those! I don’t have this problem!

Nurse: So you just keep going to doctors till they say what you want to hear. But I’m telling you, this is a panic attack. You said in your notes that talking is difficult, but you’re talking fine now. You seem fine. You just need to accept this. Maybe call your therapist or psychiatrist.

(She ended the appointment. I was pretty hysterical once we returned home. I have been well functioning for years and even though I didn’t believe the nurse, she put the idea in my head that I was as well off as I thought. I should also note my mom is of the generation that often writes things off as stress, and seemed to be taking the nurse’s side, or at least playing devil’s advocate, adding to my stress. I blubbered to my mom and eventually my psychiatrist’s hotline. [Psychiatrist] quickly wrote a prescription for anxiety, but was very firm in telling me most of her patients didn’t end up using it and that often having it in their possession helped. She also said that if I felt I needed it to only take half and assess how I felt. Honestly, I didn’t feel any different. Later, my mom apologized that she helped upset me and called our GP. )

Mom: [Doctor] made an opening for you tomorrow. . Guess what she said, though, when I told her everything that happened.

Me: …What?

Mom: In her experience asthmatics usually have panic attacks because they can’t f***ing breathe.

(My GP gave me a steroid inhaler and I started breathing better in a few days. I later went to my asthma and allergy doctor and found out I have a new severe allergy to dust mites, something that aggravates asthma. F*** you nurse.)

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Giving Direction, Sans The Right San

, , , , , | Right | November 25, 2017

Me: “Thank you for calling [Hotel]. How may I help you?”

Caller: “I need directions to your hotel! I am lost!”

Me: “Ma’am, do you know where you are at this moment? On a specific highway? Do you see any signs?”

Caller: *starts telling me street names and buildings she’s passing*

Me: “Ma’am, I am sorry; I don’t know where that is. You need to go onto I-35 North, toward Austin.”

Caller: *gets frustrated* “You are horrible at giving directions. How are you working at a hotel and can’t even give me directions to your location!?”

Me: “I am sorry, ma’am, but I don’t recognize any street names you’re naming. San Antonio is pretty big.”

(After about fifteen minutes of me trying to tell her which general direction to go and her getting frustrated with me:)

Caller: “Ugh, I’m never coming to San Diego again!”

Me: “Ma’am, you’re calling me in San Antonio. I don’t know directions in San Diego.”

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