Somewhere Out There, A Social Justice Warrior Is Ready To Be Offended On His Behalf

, , , , , , | | Friendly | July 2, 2019

My family, all Caucasian, are packing up as we get ready to return home from a vacation. My parents realize that there won’t be room in the car for a watermelon my mom bought but didn’t get around to eating.

Rather than throw it away, she decides to offer it to the hotel staff and see if they want it. As she jauntily walks up to the front counter, the man behind leaves and is replaced by a black man.

My mom slowly comes to stop as she pauses and considers what she’s about to do. She stands still for a solid minute, staring at the man, as she weighs her options. She finally just decides to ignore her concerns and asks the man if he is interested in a free watermelon. He happily takes it without comment.

Unfiltered Story #151084

, , , | | Unfiltered | May 19, 2019

(I am a female-to-male transgender individual. I am pre-transition and due to a combination of health issues and certain unwanted assets being too large to safely bind, I am unable to pass as male, though I do dress in a more masculine fashion.

Tonight is the release of the newest and last game in a very popular bat-themed superhero video game series. I have a copy for PS4 pre-ordered and have just arrived to join the queue of gamers waiting for the game to be released. In the past, the people closest to the door of the store are in the back of the line, so I go to stand there. There’s a group of guys of varying ages that are obviously together, and they begin staring at me with rather snotty looks on their faces. One guy in particular seems to be their leader.)

Him:  “Hey uh, I don’t mean to be rude. But uh, you’re in the wrong line.” (His tone was rude and confrontational despite his choice of words.)

Me: “Is this the line for Arkham Knight?”

Friends #1 & #2: *scoffs* Yeah!

Me: “Then I’m not in the wrong line.”

(They all exchange annoyed expressions and looks of disbelief, as though I had a lot of nerve standing in that line.)

Leader: “You getting it for your boyfriend or something?”

Me: “My husband isn’t a big fan of the Arkham games.”

(They look at me incredulously.)

Leader: “You play the Arkham games?”

Me: “Yep. I love Batman.”

(They keep exchanging looks, giving me looks, and muttering sexist things.)

Leader: “Yeah, well, this is the front of the line. Get in the back of the line.”

Me: *Shrug* “Alright.”

(I go to ask a store employee who is checking people’s receipts where the back of the line is, because I most certainly don’t want to cut in front of anyone else.)

Me: “Excuse me, where’s the back of the line? Those gentlemen over there *I point to them* insisted that was the front of the line.”

Female Employee: “*Follows my finger and rolls her eyes and sighs in disgust* It doesn’t matter where the “front” of the line is. Everyone will have to line up outside soon.”

Me: “*Smile apologetically to her* Alright. Thank you.”

(Soon the line moves outside and the group of guys are confronting people that are at the front of the newly formed line.)

Leader: “Make room, we were here first!”

Guy: “I’ve been standing here for a few minutes.”

Leader: “We were at the front of the line!”

Female Employee: “Either get behind them, go to the back of the line, or come get your game tomorrow!”

Leader: “We were at the front of the line! *Angrily stomps behind the people at the front of the line*”

(When it comes time to go inside and get my game, those guys are walking out as I’m walking inside, and they once again shoot me a plethora of dirty looks.

I really love gaming, but I absolutely hate the sexism within the gaming community.)

The Sugar-Crystal Skull

, , , , , , , | Learning | April 3, 2019

(I am in a culinary arts class that takes place in a small kitchen area. Students from a creative writing class recently used the space for a project that involved making calaveras, tiny human skulls made entirely out of granulated sugar and butter. They left behind a small mess for us to clean, including most of a malformed skull.)

Classmate: *pointing at mangled skull* “What should we do with this?”

Teacher: “Eh, that one’s a reject. You can just toss it.”

Classmate: “Can I have it?”

Teacher: “Sure.”

(That guy proceeded to eat the entire skull over the course of our class. Almost a cup of pure sugar and no flavorings.)

Life Is Like A Block Of Chocolate; Starts Sweet And Then It’s S***

, , , , , | Learning | April 1, 2019

(I am in a culinary arts class. Our teacher is a charismatic, middle-aged man who is constantly joking and having fun with his students. We somehow get on the topic of chocolate and he shares this story.)

Teacher: “I wish I could show guys the difference between American and European chocolate. Theirs is less sweet and a little bitter. I used to have a giant bar of Belgian chocolate that I would share with students, but it got stolen.”

Student: “Someone stole a chocolate bar?”

Teacher: “Yup! I had a buddy in the Navy who owed me some money, so I said, ‘Just get me some chocolate next time you’re docked in Europe,’ and he got me, like, a twenty-pound bar from Belgium. Every year I would share a piece with my students and let them experience it. Then, one day I walked into the school and someone had drawn all over the walls and floor in brown streaks. At first, I thought, ‘Did someone s*** on the walls?’ Then recognized the smell. Some little b******s broke into my classroom, stole the bar — of which I still had about fifteen pounds — realized they couldn’t eat all of it, and then used the rest to graffiti the school!”

Bee Vigilant

, , , , , | Friendly | March 29, 2019

(It is early in my first semester of college. I am young and not yet used to the more relaxed atmosphere of most college classes, or the concept of seeing older students as my equals. I am in an English Lit class where I am too shy to speak to most people, sitting next to a guy who is at least half a decade older than me. One day he walks in and sits down and I notice what looks like an actual bee sitting on his head. It looks incredibly real so I don’t think it’s fake, but it doesn’t move or twitch in the slightest while I look at it. The guy also likes to wear a number of different baubles and patches and such, so I wouldn’t put it outside the realm of possibility for him to stick a realistic-looking insect in his hair. I spend the entire hour-and-a-half class sneaking glances at the bee to see if it moves, which it never does. As class is almost over, my curiosity drives me enough to actually ask him:)

Me: *pointing at my own head* “Um, are you aware you have a bee in your hair?”

Guy: *laughs* “Haha, what?”

(He wipes his hand over his head to knock the bee to the floor, where it suddenly begins flailing and trying to stand. The guy curses and stomps on it, then looks at me.)

Guy: “How long was that thing on me?!”

Me: “I’m guessing since the last time you were outside.”

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