And Then He Vowed To Never Help Anyone Again

, , , , , , | Friendly | April 2, 2020

I’m in my socially-awkward early twenties and I’m visiting a small local theater to see a movie. Before the movie starts, I go to use the restroom. As I’m washing my hands, a young boy around seven comes up to the sink next to me and starts hopping while grabbing at the sink handle. Thinking he can’t reach, I turn it on for him

Kid: “No, not that. I’m trying to reach those.”

He points at the liquid soap dispensers above the sink. I squirt a large amount onto the palm of my hand and lower it to him.

Me: “Here.”

Kid: “Thanks!”

He scoops soap out my hand. I wash off my hands, turn off the water for him, and leave to go see my movie. Later, as everyone is leaving the theater:

Kid: “Hey! Thanks for before!”

I turn to see the kid waving at me with one hand while holding onto a woman with the other. The kid tugs on his mom’s hand and points at me. 

Kid: “Mom, that guy was cool. He helped me use the restroom earlier.”

My eyes went wide as I realized how bad that could sound out of context. I made eye contact with the mom who was looking at me with concern. I wordlessly spun on my heel and started speed-walking to my car. I really hope that kid explained the story better.

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Unfiltered Story #189055

, , , | Unfiltered | March 11, 2020

(I’m the idiot customer in this story, and have to give much thanks to the staff for their patience! It had been a long week preparing for the funeral of a friend/coworker when I decided to finally pull the trigger on a tattoo that I had wanted for about a year. Living in a small town doesn’t give me too many options so when I got to a large city I decided it was time. I called before I went in to make sure they had time to do the work, it was after I arrived that my idiocy started.)

Tattoo Artist: Hi I’m S(for short) what are you wanting to get done?
Me: Hi I would like a Thor’s Hammer
S: Cool, Do you have any ideas that you would like to go with?
Me: Not really, just a Thor’s Hammer.
S: Do you want it in color?
Me: No I want it in Blue. ( should have been his first indication that I can be an idiot sometimes, but he let it slide.)
S: Alright, give me 20-30 minutes to draw up something.

I sat down, as he disappeared into the back to work. Now it must be said I love old Norse Mythology, I don’t really watch too many movies, or read comic books so I always forget about the Comic book version of Thor. When he came back a little more than 30 minutes later I was horrified. He had drawn up a really good looking Thor’s hammer from the comic/movie series. Had I been into that version, I would have gotten that tattoo in a heart beat.

Me: That looks great, but it’s the wrong Thor.

At this point he dug in a little further, having me show him a picture of what I had in mind. My thoughts started to come together a little better, and I explained to him that I like old tattoo styles, as in ancient tattoos. Think Ragnar, and Rollo from T.V.’s Vikings, think of that color of blue which when he had drawn it up a second time was exactly the color I wanted. After he went to the back of the studio to draw up another design, and after my repeated apologies, he returned with exactly what I wanted. I explained that when I talk about the Mjolinr, Thor’s hammer in old Norse mythology, he knew what I meant, but when most people talk about Thor, the comic book is what they mean. It was actually a rather pleasant session, well as pleasant as having a needle inject ink into your skin can be. Well, after he got the outline finished, me resisting the urge to look at it until it was finished he says…

S: we got the outline done, now I’m going to start on the blue.
Me, looking down at this point: Wait, I wanted the outline in blue, (Now seeing its done in black, and honestly loving the work he has done). Now I’m not complaining this looks great, I love it, but I meant the outline to be done in blue.

I could see the look of horror on his face, as he had just permanently marked me, I had to reassure him that it was great, and it was my fault for not conveying my idea properly. It was a long week, with 18 hour days, and at most 4 hours of sleep for about 4 days, so it was my fault for going in the first place, plus add that I hadn’t properly grieved for my friend. after he shaded in the tattoo, I looked in the mirror, and loved the work he had done! I need to get more ink work done, and will definitely go back to this tattoo studio to finish up my other ink work. My point here is, when it is a permanent alteration to your body, don’t be an idiot like me. I got lucky, you might walk out with a tattoo you hate, and its there forever. And yes a tip was left.

If That Bothers Him, Wait Until He Hears What It Means For The Gays!

, , , , , , | Learning | September 29, 2019

(I am five or six years old and attending Sunday school. We are outside after a brief rain, being supervised by a husband and wife.)

Male Supervisor: *pointing at a rainbow in the distance* “So, kids, does anyone know what a rainbow is?”

(I excitedly raise my hand to answer, as I have just learned this from a science-themed kids show.)

Me: “A rainbow is caused by extra water in the air from the rain that makes a prism which refracts the sunlight!”

(The husband and wife make disgusted faces and share a look, before turning back to me.)

Male Supervisor: “No, a rainbow is God’s promise to never flood the earth again.”

Me: “Oh…”

(It wouldn’t have been so bad, except they decided to punish me, as well. I was made to stand in the corner for fifteen minutes for “spreading wrong thoughts.” I consider this my first push towards atheism.)

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Would Rather Be Alive Than Late

, , , , , | Learning | September 22, 2019

(My sister works as a nurse at an elementary and middle school. One day, they are running a lockdown drill, a practice simulation for if a dangerous person is on campus. The instructions are to lock yourself in a room, turn off any lights that are visible from the outside, and make as little noise as possible. My sister has two students with her when the drill starts, one of whom has already been physically ill, so she decides for them to hide in the attached bathroom. She has her cell phone and her staff radio on hand with her. Throughout the simulation, multiple people come and try to open the door, or knock on it asking if anyone is in there. Following her instructions, my sister does not respond and turns off her radio whenever she hears footsteps approaching. This continues for some time until an assistant principal she is friendly with approaches:)

AP: “[Sister], it’s [Assistant Principal]. Here is my employee ID.” *slips it under the door* “I am here to tell you that the simulation is over. Please come out.”

(She opens the door.)

AP: “So, you were in there! We’ve been trying to find you for half an hour!”

Sister: *exiting the room* “I had my phone;  someone could’ve–” *phone beeps showing several messages* “Huh, I guess the bathroom is a dead zone for cell service.”

(Turns out the lockdown had been over for a while but they couldn’t find a way to inform her of that. She exited to a frustrated staff and a mother who was there to pick up her sick child. Her principal was ready to scold her but quickly relented when my sister argued that she was following procedure.)

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Cold Is The Tea Drank By This Customer

, , , , , | Right | August 25, 2019

(I’m working at a tea shop that steeps loose-leaf tea. Hot teas are served in white paper cups and cold teas are served in clear plastic cups.)

Customer: “May I have a hot oolong tea with no sweetener?”

Me: “Sure.”

(I prepare the tea and hand it to the customer. The customer leaves and comes back a couple of minutes later.)

Customer: “Hi, sorry, could you please give me a different cup for this?”

Me: “Oh, sure. Did something happen to the cup?”

Customer: “It’s just weird; it looks weird.”

Me: “Umm, okay? How can I fix that for you?”

Customer: “Can you switch it to a plastic cup?”

Me: “Sure.”

Customer: “Also, add ice to it.”

Me: “Umm… So you want a cold tea?”

Customer: “Yes.”

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