It’s the beginning of summer during the health crisis and things are sort of getting back to normal with stores. I have been out mountain biking with some friends, and I stop by a big store to pick up a few things to make dinner for my daughter and me. Then, I happen to see my best friend with her child. He is turning four years old, and she is buying him a bicycle for his birthday. This is right up my alley!

Me: “Great! Let Auntie [My Name] help you out with it.”

We find a good sixteen-inch-wheel starter bike and look at helmets, and I even fit the helmet to him. [Best Friend] and I chat a bit while her child looks at other toys.

Then, I hear an “ahem” and I turn to see a woman standing there.

Me: “I’m sorry if I’m in your way of the shelves.”

Customer: *Rudely* “Now that you are done with her, you can help me with my child and a bike for him.”

Me: “Sorry, ma’am, I don’t work here. I was just helping my friend with her son.”

Customer: “Yes, you do! You are wearing cycling clothes!”

Me: “I just got finished with a ride about an hour ago and came here to pick things up and saw my friend. I’m just helping her. I’m sure one of the employees would be glad to help you. I really don’t work here.”

Best Friend: “She doesn’t work here, lady.”

Customer: “You need to butt out and shut up. I wasn’t talking to you.”

Me: *To my friend* “Oh, my God! Let’s go and get away from this crazy lady.”

Customer: “What?! HOW DARE YOU CALL ME THAT?! I WILL HAVE YOU FIRED!”

Me: *Trying to stay calm* “I DON’T WORK HERE!”

My friends always say that I am really scary when I’m mad. I’m 5’10” and fit; I’m not a small woman. We try to walk away and the lady grabs my arm. I pull out of her grip.

Me: “If you touch me again, I will have you arrested!”

I try to walk away again and she grabs my cycling jersey.

Customer: “YOU ARE GOING TO HELP ME AND I’M GOING TO REPORT YOU TO YOU THE MANAGER, ALSO!”

Me: “Let go of my jersey, you f****** wingnut!”

Then, a manager comes around the corner and the lady screams at him.

Customer: “YOU NEED TO FIRE YOUR EMPLOYEE FOR NOT HELPING ME!”

Manager: “Ma’am, she doesn’t work here, and you need to let her go before I have you escorted out the door.”

Customer: “HOW DARE YOU TREAT PAYING CUSTOMERS THIS WAY?!”

I pull my jersey from her grip and she tries to slap me. I grab her wrist in mid-flight.

Me: “YOU HAVE NOW DONE IT, LADY!”

And I twist her arm behind her. The woman is now yelling about assault and screaming about how badly I am hurting her arm as I pull it up behind her back. I do have a lot of fighting training. [Best Friend] is recording it all on her phone and trying to calm her kid at the same time.

Me: *To the manager* “Call the sheriff’s department right now. I’m having her arrested!”

Customer: “LET ME GO! I WILL SUE YOU ALL! YOU ARE ALL GOING TO JAIL!”

Me: “I don’t think so!”

I wrench her arm up harder, and escort her and her crying kid up to the front of the store as we wait for someone from the sheriff’s department. Two deputy sheriffs walk in; I know them both from having to use the sheriff’s department a lot in my line of work. I let go and the woman screams.

Customer: “ARREST HER NOW FOR ASSAULTING ME!”

Deputy #1: “Ma’am, you need to calm down right now!”

Customer: “NO! SHE ASSAULTED ME!”

[Best Friend], the manager, and I just stand there, wait for the deputies to handle everything, and answer anything that is asked of us.

Deputy #2: “[My Name]… what is going on here?”

Customer: “YOU KNOW THIS B****?! ARREST HER!”

Deputy #1: “You need to be quiet or I’m going to arrest you!”

I am feeling really bad for her child; he is crying as another employee tries to keep him calm. [Customer] keeps screaming. Then, they cuff her as the manager, [Best Friend], and I talk to [Deputy #2] about what happened.

I don’t want to press charges because I don’t want to spend time in court; I spend enough time in court with my line of work.

The woman is banned from that store. The manager apologizes for everything and gives my best friend and me $50 gift cards. I hand mine to [Best Friend], and it pays for the bike and helmet.

I think that will be the end of this and that I’ll never see that woman again. I am wrong.

Two weeks go by. I’m in my office at work; I own a home rental business, family-owned. I spent my whole life in this business and took over when my parents retired. I’ve told everyone in the office about what happened at the store.

This one fine day, this couple comes in to file and sign final paperwork on a home rental. My office manager buzzes me and asks if I can come out to meet the new renters and introduce myself to them. As I walk up front, a look of shock hits my face. It’s the lady from the store!

Customer: “YOU! DON’T TELL ME YOU WORK HERE!”

Me: *Calmly* “Yes, I do work here.”

Customer: “WHO IS YOUR MANAGER?! I’M GOING TO HAVE YOU FIRED!”

Her husband turns red with embarrassment. I point to the office manager.

Me: “She is the manager; talk to her.”

Customer: *Yelling at my manager* “YOU SHOULD FIRE THIS WORTHLESS B****!”

Office Manager: “I can’t fire her; only the owner of the company can fire her.”

Customer: “I WANT TO SPEAK TO THE OWNER!”

Office Manager: *Pointing at me* “She is the owner.”

Me: “Yes, you are in my place of business. I’m not going to rent a house to you and I’m asking you to leave right now, never to come back, before I call the sheriff’s department.”

She left in a big hurry with her husband in tow.

A customer comes to my till. One of his items is a large chocolate bar.

Customer: “No, that’s the wrong price!”

Me: “I buy these all the time; this is the right price.”

He walks me down to the shelf where he got the chocolate and points out the price tag.

Me: “Sir, that’s the price tag for the regular size bar, not the large.”

Customer: “Are you f****** blind?!”

Me: “Yes, actually, I’m blind in one eye, but I can still see that this price tag is for a regular size bar, not a large one. Look at the small letters under the price.”

He immediately became nicer, and he bought me a chocolate bar.

I’m working a closing shift. I’m finally able to get my fifteen-minute break around 10:30 pm, thirty minutes before we close. I’ve been there since 2:00 pm. During my breaks, I usually go to my car and sit in silence away from everyone.

Me: “Hey, [Coworker], I’m gonna take my break. I’ll be back in a few!”

I walk out the door to my car, unlock it, open my door, sit in my driver’s seat, and shut my door. I don’t even turn my car on before my car is struck and pushed a few feet sideways. My driver-side door is crushed in and pressed against my side. I let out the loudest, most aggravated sigh. I crawl out my passenger side and walk to the SUV’s driver side.

A girl around twelve years old gets out of the vehicle, crying.

Girl: “I’M SO SORRY! I WAS JUST TRYING TO ROLL DOWN THE WINDOW! IT WAS SO HOT!”

Me: “Are your parents inside? Anyone else in the car?”

Girl: “Yes, Mom is in the store shopping and told me to stay outside with my little sister.”

I move her to the side and jump in the vehicle, putting it in park. I look over my shoulder to see a baby sleeping in their car seat. I angrily text my other coworker who’s working security to come to the parking lot and watch the infant and her older sister while I go inside to make an announcement after I call the police.

Me: *Over intercom* “If you have a [color] [Vehicle], please come to customer service.”

A customer comes up with a very aggressive attitude.

Customer: “What did you do to my car?”

Me: “Your daughter was trying to roll down the windows because it’s 89 degrees outside, probably almost suffocating both your children. She somehow shifted it into gear and smashed into my car.”

Customer: “What? No. You had to run into my car. My daughter knows better.”

I just motion her to come outside. She does so after a coworker says we’ll hold her items so she can come back inside and purchase them.

Customer: “I TOLD YOU, YOU RAN INTO MY CAR!”

The police officer has already pulled up and is talking to my coworker while taking pictures of the accident.

Me: “Ma’am, your car is rammed into my driver’s side; cars do not move sideways.”

Customer: “HOW DARE YOU GO AGAINST ME?! I’LL HAVE YOUR JOB!”

Me: “This doesn’t have anything to do with my job; we’ve had an accident.”

Police Officer: *Talking to the customer* “Ma’am, you do realize I could write you a ticket for child endangerment? Your car has obviously run into her car. Just settle down and we will get this sorted out.”

The customer’s attitude completely changes.

Customer: *Talking to me* “Oh, honey, don’t worry about a thing. I’m older and have good insurance; I’ll have to pay for this and it will be okay.”

Me: “I know. It wasn’t my fault.”

Customer: *Talking low* “It was your fault, but I can’t do anything about it right now.”

The day after, they wouldn’t answer my phone call or the insurance claims’ phone call. They proceeded to go through their insurance and, because of the damage that included electronics, new door, new mirror, etc., I ended up in a rental car paid for by them for a month.

I’ve been selling items on eBay for over twenty years. I recently got some VHS tapes I’m selling for a friend. Someone buys one. The listing title is “VHS: [Movie Title].” I ship her item and leave her positive feedback because she pays me right away.

A week later, I have neutral feedback on my profile.

Feedback: “I didn’t realize it was a VHS tape and I don’t have a player so I’m very disappointed.”

And it’s my problem because you can’t read? And the kicker is that eBay won’t reverse her feedback, so I’ve got 700+ positive reviews and one neutral because of this knucklehead.

I have just started a new job as a stocker in a popular chain store. So far, I’ve mostly worked one department while occasionally jumping into other departments. The one department I’ve worked the most is Health/Beauty and Cosmetics. Even though I’m only been here three weeks, I’ve gotten the area down. One day, during my third week here, I am stocking some shampoos when a customer comes up to me.

Customer: “Do you have male gloves?”

Me: “Yes, what kind of gloves are you looking for?”

I think he’s looking for automotive gloves or gardening gloves.

Customer: “No, no. Male gloves.”

What the h*** else would be ‘male gloves’? I have a very confused look on my face.

Customer: “MALE GLOVESSSSS!”

He points to his pants. Sometimes I can’t catch onto things, so I still look confused.

Customer: *Sighs* “You know, condoms?!”

Me: “Oh, yeah! They’re just a couple aisles over in the cosmetics section.”

Who the h*** says, “Male gloves,” for condoms?

Me: “You could have said that; there’s no shame here.”

Customer: “I didn’t want to make it weird.”

Well, congratulations. You did!