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We Have Faith That There Will Always Be People This Stupid

, , , , , , , | Right | May 6, 2025

My husband and I have gone to see Old Faithful in Yellowstone National Park. While we’re waiting for it to go off, we’re sitting in a crowd of people. A guide from the nearby visitor center is answering some questions while we’re waiting.

One of the visitors asks with a tone of condescension:

Visitor: “All these people are waiting? Why don’t you put on more shows on busy days?!

The poor guide tried to explain what Old Faithful was and how they have no control over the geyser, but the visitor didn’t look convinced.

After Old Faithful went off, the same visitor complained loudly:

Visitor: “Not as good as the Bellagio fountains!”

You Could Tell Him To Go Take A Hike, But…

, , , , , | Friendly | March 22, 2025

I was hiking in Yellowstone, and I watched a guy and his girlfriend shortcut two switchbacks. When they did it a third time, it put them right in front of me.

Me: “Hey, guys, please don’t shortcut the switchbacks. It’s really bad for the trail.”

Guy: *Puffing up his chest* “Are you a ranger?”

I was a little surprised and caught off guard.

Me: “No. But there are signs all over telling you not to do that.”

He just shrugged and continued walking in the direction they’d been going. As he went by, the guy sort of turned back over his shoulder and yelled to me:

Guy: “They sell ranger hats in the gift shop, bud.”

He was a d**k, and I hope he got eaten by a mountain lion, but d***, he really did win that exchange.

And They’ll All Go Down With The Ship

, , , , , , , | Related | January 7, 2025

My brother and I are adult twins. We are with our parents and some other siblings at a restaurant. My brother and I have always liked to tease each other, as siblings often do.

I am telling a story at the table, and I accidentally knock over some water.

Me: “Whoops! Accident!” 

Brother: “You were an accident!”

Me: “Dude… we’re twins.”

Brother: “I was planned. You were surplus to requirements.” 

Me: “Son of a b****!”

Mom: “Hey!”

Me: “Oh… s***. Sorry, Mom.”

Mom: “Seriously, you two are both d****e canoes. Together, you’re both like one… big… d****e catamaran.”

Thanks, Mom.

This Is Why “No One Wants To Work Anymore”, Part 2

, , , , , , , | Working | July 23, 2024

I apply for a front desk position at a hotel in town, and I receive a call back fairly quickly. I go to the interview, and it takes about twenty minutes for the owner to get to me, which I will forgive as the interview before mine went over its time. We do the usual questions and answers, and then he hits me with this question.

Owner: “Do you like gossip?”

I’m taken off guard by the question.

Me: “No? What do you mean?”

Owner: “I mean talking about your bosses and your coworkers, spreading rumors, and such.”

I’m incredulous; if someone likes to do that, they’re not going to admit it!

Me: “No, I really don’t like that.”

He continues on. I mention noticing that the hotel’s restaurant seems to be indefinitely closed. His response?

Owner: “Nobody wants to work anymore.”

Red flag number one!

Owner: “So, I’ve been trying to fill several positions since February.”

It’s June. Red flag number two.

Me: *Cautiously* “So, what happened for you to require that many openings?”

Owner: “Thank you for asking! It got toxic. The morning shift has gotten toxic. I work in my office, as there’s a lot of paperwork I have to do as the manager and owner. Well… this girl, the shift lead, started to keep the other employees from seeing me, telling them that I don’t care for them, that I don’t want to see them, making it all toxic…”

This goes on for a little while, repeating several times and looping back to how this girl kept making things “toxic”.

Owner: “…by the time I realized how bad it was, it was poisoned. I had to clean house, and I fired all of them.”

Yiiiiiiiikes.

I’ve decided that I do not want this job.

Me: “That’s terrible.”

Owner: “I’m glad you understand. You see why I don’t like gossips? It ruins things and poisons workplaces. It makes everything toxic.”

The interview wrapped up shortly after this little spiel, and I left quickly, passed the closed restaurant, and had a reflexive wince at the word “toxic” for the rest of the week.

Related:
This Is Why “No One Wants To Work Anymore”

Someone’s About To Have The Saddest Bowl Of Cereal

, , , , | Working | April 11, 2024

I am grocery shopping, and in the snack aisle, I notice that has someone left a bottle of milk. I pick it up, and it feels room temperature. An employee happens to pass by.

Me: “Excuse me. Someone left this milk here, and feels like it’s been here for a while.”

I hand the milk to him.

Employee: “Oh, it does. I guess I’ll have to put it back in the fridge.”

He immediately walks off. It takes me a little too long to register what he actually said, and I try to call out.

Me: “SIR!”

Too late: there was no sign of him anywhere. The milk had likely already been put back, and there was no sign of any other employees so I could tell them about it. I ended up having to get checked out shortly so as not to miss my bus.

Now I’ve decided not to get anything that needs to be kept cold from that store.