(I work in retail and get this often enough that I am tired of hearing it. One afternoon a coworker and I are folding clothes on a table that guests have messed up while shopping.)

Guest: “Miss, do you work here?”

Me: *looks down at my obvious work uniform* “No, sir, my friend and I here just like folding clothes at various retail stores for kicks.”

Guest: “Oh, okay.” *walks off*

(Between my laughter and my coworker’s, I went to the man and apologized, explaining I did work here, and helped him. He laughed, too, so all was good, but he was the first guest that had taken me seriously.)

(I work at a national, well-known bank in a small town. For cashier’s checks, we normally charge $10 unless a customer is in a special type account. Normally, if I see that they can get the checks for free, I try to convert their accounts first and then make their check.)

Me: “Hi, welcome to [Bank]. What may I help you with today?”

Customer: “Yeah, I’d like to pull out $1,000 in cash and make a cashier’s check for $4,000.”

Me: “Great! I’d be happy to assist. Who are we making the check out to?”

Customer: “To myself; I’m moving money around.”

(I look up the customer with his ID, and begin to tell him about how with his account, the check would cost $10.)

Me: “Mr. [Customer], the check would cost $10. However, because you have such outstanding balances with us, I can see about converting your account name so you won’t have to pay for them. How does that sound?”

Customer: *obviously annoyed* “That’s ridiculous! I have been banking with you for longer than you’ve been alive! I shouldn’t have to pay for making a d*** check! With my own money!”

Me: “Sir, that’s why I suggested we change your account name. No numbers or routing numbers change, just the account title. I want you to get your checks for free.”

(The customer is still ranting about how the bank is just out to get people’s money and that we have no appreciation for local business.)

Customer: “I’m just going to move all my accounts to [Other Local Bank], since you people don’t value my time or my money!”

Me: “Okay! Have a great afternoon!”

(I’m a manager for one of the corporate retail stores for a large cell phone provider. I am the only manager on duty during a fairly busy shift. One of my employees answers the phone, and the gentleman on the other end asks to speak with a manager. She informs him that I’m currently assisting another guest, and offers to take his name and number to have me call him back. He says he’ll hold. He is on hold for two minutes before he hangs up and calls back. He is then on hold for less than a minute. This is the conversation that follows.)

Me: “Hi, this is [My Name]. Thank you for holding. How may I help you?”

Guest: “F****** finally! I’ve been on hold waiting for you for twenty minutes!”

Me: “I do apologize for that, sir; we have been a bit busy tonight. How can I help you?”

Guest: “I’m just calling to warn you I’m coming in tomorrow with copies of my bank statements that show I was charged twice for my bill: once on the 28th and again on the 2nd!”

Me: “Okay, I can understand the frustration with that. Did you make the payment in store?”

Guest: “No, it is set up on automatic payments. So, when I bring this paperwork in tomorrow, you will be giving me a refund, same day, right?”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but unfortunately I am unable to process a refund in-store for a payment made via auto-pay. I can, however, file a ticket to have your money refunded with the paperwork provided, and it normally takes two to three business days to have the money back in your account.”

Guest: “I was told I had to bring my paperwork into the store in order to have this processed! Why the h*** can you not f****** give me my money back in-store, b****?!”

Me: “Sir, I’m going to ask you not to speak to me like that. Unfortunately, there is no way for me to override the system to process that type of refund, since the transaction was not done in my store. I will be happy—”

Guest: “F*** YOU! I’m bringing in my lawyer tomorrow! I don’t understand why you can’t just give me my money back from your register.”

Me: “Sir, I understand that you are upset, and I’m willing to get it resolved for you, but I have to account for all my cash in my store, and like I stated before, I have no way of overriding an auto-pay payment. If you want to come in, I’d be happy to file the refund for you; however, if you choose to hire a lawyer, I will be unable to assist you in-store.”

(This is company policy.)

Guest: “You’re lying to get out of giving me my money back, b****! I can’t believe this. I bet you took the money and deposited it into your account! You are robbing me and don’t even care!”

Me: “Uh… Sir, if you don’t want come in and have us file for a refund with your paperwork showing the error, you can always call your bank and have them dispute the charge.”

(The guest started yelling wonderfully colorful words and calling me some imaginative names before hanging up on me. I stared at the phone for a good minute before I even hung it up.)

(We have signs on our registers saying, “NO CHECKS.” The customer’s total comes to under $10. He has three cards come back declined, including a check card.)

Customer: “Can I write you a check?”

Me: “I’m sorry, but we do not accept checks here; credit or cash only.”

Customer: “Who doesn’t take checks anymore? It’s not even $10.”

Me: *points to sign* “It is our store policy; we do not accept checks.”

Customer: “You can’t make an exception? I shop here all the time!”

Me: *I’ve never seen him before* “Sir, even if I was allowed to make an exception, would you really give us a check knowing that your check card has been declined?”

Customer: *long pause, then walks out*

I work at a fast food restaurant in a small town in Wyoming. This occurs during a dinner rush in which we only have two employees in the building; my coworker and myself. I am taking orders from lobby and drive-thru both while my coworker struggled to make the food. The owner showed up during the rush to help us. This happens when I go to hand out a large drive-thru order that has been waiting for a while:
Me: Sorry about that.. Here you are, guys.
Female Customer: CAN WE AT LEAST GET SOME GREEN SAUCE SINCE WE’VE BEEN FUCKING WAITING THIS WHOLE TIME!?
Male Customer (driver): And some red sauce?
(Note that our sauces are free upon request. She is also whipping her head around in full drama-queen fashion and screaming her lungs out at me; much to my shock.)
Me: Uh yes ma’am. Here you are.
Female Customer: *more bitching*
Me: Ma’am, we only have one cook in the back, and we’re trying as best we can to get the orders out-”
Female Customer: WELL GET YOUR FUCKING SHIT TOGETHER!! GOODBYE!!
(The male customer doesn’t say anything and just drives off. Five minutes later we get a phone call. Note we are still in the middle of our dinner rush.)
Me: [fast food place], this is [my name]
Female Customer: WHAT’S YOUR NAME!?
Me: [my name]…
Female Customer: WHAT’S YOUR NAME!?
Me: Uh, [my name]…..
Female Customer: WHAT’S YOUR NAME!?
Me: ….
Female Customer: I WANT YOUR MANAGER’S NUMBER AND YOUR NAME!
Me: ….
Female Customer: I WAS JUST IN THE DRIVE-THRU AND I WAITED FUCKING 13 MINUTES FOR MY ORDER. WHAT IS YOUR MANAGER’S NUMBER AND NAME!?
Me: Uh, Ma’am, the owner is here if you would like to speak with her.
Female Customer: YES, PLEASE!
Me: [owner], there’s an angry customer on the phone who wants to speak to you.
Owner: ….ok….
Me (to the phone): I’m sorry, Ma’am, we’re in the middle of a rush; she’ll be with you as soon as she can.
Female Customer: THANK YOU.
(after some time)
Owner: Are they still there?
Me: Yeah
The owner later told me that the woman complained that I was bitchy and rude to her before proceeding to ask for my owner’s manager. She repeated to the woman several times that she was the owner of the store and therefore did not have a higher ranking manager. After the woman continued asking for the owner of the establishment, she could only assume that the customer was talking about Cooperate. The owner told her where the number could be found as well as the fact she was trying to apologize to the woman. This conversation happened after the call:
Owner: She said you were bitchy and rude to her, but I heard what you said and it didn’t sound rude to me.
Me: I wasn’t being rude to her..
Owner: Yeah you said something like “we only have one cook” or something like that?
Me: Yes, I said “Ma’am we only have one cook and we’re trying the best we can”
Owner: Yeah, that’s not rude or mean at all. I don’t know what she was asking for; she kept asking for my manager’s number.
Me: She said something about her order taking 13 minutes. I saw the time; it was at 11 something when we cleared it.
(we can bring up cleared orders and see how long it took to make each one. That specific order took 11:50 to send out from the time money was collected. The owner had me write it down and re-print the receipt along with what I said vs what she said to avoid me getting in trouble with Cooperate. The woman wanted to report also wanted to report me for the “rude” way I treated her.)