I work at a local game store; we sell card games, board games, comics, and collectibles. A youngish customer comes in; he can’t be older than twenty.

Me: “Hi there, how’s it going? Anything we can help you find today?”

Customer: “Hi, you have Star Wars posters?”

Me: “Probably! Look on the wall to your right there, and there are more in the bin by that pillar.”

The customer goes off to go look and comes back a few minutes later with a game and its expansion, but no poster.

Me: “You find everything okay?”

Customer: “Yeah. You don’t have any older Star Wars posters, do you?”

Me: “The oldest we would probably have is something from the original movies.”

Customer: “Not something from like, Revenge of the Sith or Attack of the Clones?”

Me: “…”

Those are OLD?!

Like many small PIN pads that request signatures on the screen with a stylus pen, the one at our store is pretty difficult to write with, at least smoothly or legibly. One day, a customer comes through my line with his friend.

Customer: *Signing the pad* “This looks nothing like my signature.”

Me: “That’s fine. It works.”

Friend: “What a smart thing to say while signing for a purchase on your credit card.”

Customer: *Pauses, then bursts out laughing* “Oh, God, you’re right! Forget I said that!”

Me: “Heh, don’t worry about it.”

Customer: “How genius is that? ‘Wow, this totally looks like fraud!'”

He couldn’t stop laughing on his way out of the store.

I’m twenty-seven and just got engaged. I’m serving a woman on the till. She starts laughing.

Me: “What’s so funny?”

Customer: “I’m so sorry. For a minute, I thought you were wearing an engagement ring.”

Me: “I am; I just got engaged to my boyfriend.”

Customer: “Don’t lie to me; that’s impossible! You’re no more than fourteen. This Is just a little weekend job for you!”

It was the middle of a weekday, so if I had been fourteen, I would’ve been skipping school!

I’m shopping in a shop that sells baby clothes, prams, etc. I’m looking for a gift for a friend who has just given birth to her first child. I’ve picked out some clothes and am looking at the various blankets; I’ve picked out some cellular breathable ones.

Out of nowhere, a store assistant appears, actually making me jump. 

Store Assistant: “Can I help you, sir?”

Me: “No, I’m good, thanks. Just picking out a few things.”

Store Assistant: “What is it you are looking for?”

I’ve already said no, clearly.

Me: “Just a present for a friend.”

Store Assistant: “Oh, why don’t you look in our toy aisle? We have lots of great gifts.”

Me: “No, thanks. Everyone gets toys. I want to give something useful. I think I will buy these.”

Store Assistant: “Oh? Well, they are expensive. There are some great, colourful blankets in the next aisle.”

Me: “Again, no, thanks. These are great for new babies.”

Store Assistant: “Well, actually, I think you will find we have some much better, thicker blankets for babies.”

Me: “Actually, I think you’ll find that the current recommendation is to have lightweight layers of blankets, you know, to prevent SIDS.”

Store Assistant: “What’s SIDS?”

Not sure why anyone would go out of their way to give the wrong advice, especially when they don’t know what they are talking about. My friend was delighted with her presents.

I work at a big store that contains a lot of self-checkouts. I’m handling a group, or bullpen, of seven checkouts, four of which are in “card-only” mode because of our penny shortage at the store. To try and get customers to understand “card-only,” there are five locations on the machine that tell a customer the mode it’s in: the bar above the machine, a sign covering the cash insert slot, a sign above the scanner, a huge red square around the touch screen with “Cards Only” written all over, and a prompt that makes customers acknowledge that the machine is card only.

It’s been about thirty minutes into the day and I’ve already had three out of seven customers try to use cash in the card-only machines. A customer walks in with a moderate cart of groceries. 

Me: “Hello, do you need help with anything?”

The customer shakes her head.

Me: “If you need anything, let me know.”

I walk off and tend to the pay station as there are only two customers, including her, in the bullpen. I watch her scan her item and look at the prompt. She seems to read it for a good two minutes before hitting “yes.” The customer proceeds to scan the rest of her items before getting out her wallet. She then proceeds to pull out bills and look for a place to insert them. She even goes as far as removing the sign on the cash insert slot and tries to put it in there. I walk over.

Me: “Ma’am, this is a card-only machine. It won’t accept cash.”

Customer: “Well, I didn’t know that! You should’ve said something!”

I’m already irritated by the past three customers not paying attention.

Me: “How is that possible? I watched you hit ‘yes’ to the prompt that was on the screen explaining that this machine was card-only.”

Customer: “That’s just one thing! I wasn’t paying attention!”

I sigh softly and then point to the other four signs that indicate that the machine is card-only. She realizes that it was her fault she wasn’t paying attention, thankfully.

Customer: “Well… can you save my transaction?” 

Me: “I wish I could help, but unfortunately, because I don’t have money in my till, you will have to rescan everything at another machine that can take cash.”

Surprisingly, she just nodded, gathered her stuff, and went to another machine.

The rest of the day was better, but that didn’t stop people from not paying attention to the five different signs that were shoved in their faces.