I work in the print department of an office store, and I’m in charge of the [Shipping Company] shipping station, as well. Customers can ship packages in our store or drop off packages if they have a prepaid [Shipping Company] label. They can also ask for assistance in boxing their item up to ship.

One day, a customer comes in with a computer monitor.

Customer: “I want this monitor packaged up to ship, and I want a guarantee that it will arrive at its destination in working order.”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but I am not able to do that, due to the fragile nature of your item.”

Customer: “What? I want a manager!”

I call the manager over and explain the situation.

Manager: “I’m sorry, sir, we cannot package this and guarantee this item from damage.”

The customer blustered a bit and then left. The manager and I looked at each other with a “Yeah, right” look. We were pretty sure the customer wanted to ship a broken monitor, claim it was damaged in shipping, and get a new one.

Most people don’t realise that it is difficult to get snow in some places. Wellington, New Zealand, is one of those places. The low altitude and the salt from having ocean around three sides mean that snow is basically unheard of… until 2011.

A strange weather pattern led to three days of white stuff even at levels less than five meters above sea level. It was gorgeous and amazing. We all muddled about our businesses and got on with everything, with some things being a little more slippery than others.

Not the criminals, however.

During this three-day powdering, when you might experience the joy of watching your footprints stay in the new snow coat, two clever people decided they were going to rob a dairy.

Then, they walked straight home.

In the snow.

They were shocked when they were caught less than an hour afterward. Somehow, the police had managed to track them down. They got hauled away.

Oh, and the riches they had taken from the small store? Ice cream. Just in case the story wasn’t cool enough.

For six years, our city has required all retail stores to charge for disposable bags. At first, it was ten cents a bag, but last year, it went up to twenty-five cents.

I’m ringing up a customer at my till.

Me: “Would you like a bag today?”

He refuses one, and just as I’m giving him his change and receipt, he says he needs a bag and repeats himself a couple of times, so I can’t say anything. Finally, I say:

Me: “Twenty-five cents, please.”

He looks at me funny.

Me: “I did ask you about this.”

He looked at me in defeat and tossed me a quarter for the bag.

I was walking through the parking lot into work, my jacket still on.

Guy: “Hey! Take my cart in for me!”

I still don’t know how he even knew I worked there.

A customer reads out the warning label on some hand sanitizer.

Customer: “’For external use only.’ D***, I was planning on douching with these.”