So Pho, So Crazy, Part 4

| NY, USA | Right | August 3, 2014

(I am half Vietnamese and look somewhat ethnically ambiguous.)

Customer: “Are you Japanese?”

Me: “No, Vietnamese.”

Customer: “Really? Are you sure?”

(Later, another customer runs into the store, heads directly for one of our Buddha statues, and rubs its belly. She is about to dash off again when she sees me looking in her direction.)

Customer: “I’m sorry! Every time I see a Buddha I just have to touch it. But you must understand. You have the look of the Buddha about you.”

(A third customer comes in and asks about the meaning of some Chinese characters on a teapot. Having taken some Chinese in school, and, more relevantly, having read the product description recently, I manage to tell her the meaning of a couple.)

Customer: “Are you Chinese?”

Me: “No, Vietnamese, but I took a bit of Chinese in school.”

Customer: “Really? But isn’t that shaming your family or something?”


Sadly It’s The Same Old Yarn

| Sydney, NSW, Australia | Working | August 3, 2014

(I am the customer, shopping a yarn and knitting shop that is rival to the one I work at. I notice a knitted cardigan on display in the yarn aisles and approach a lady at the counter. I really like it and want to start on it that day.)

Me: “Excuse me. Could you tell me where the pattern is to the blue cardigan hanging in the yarn aisle?”

Cashier: *snapping at me* “You can’t have it for free.”

Me: “I only asked you where it is.”

Cashier: “Well, you can’t have it for free. You HAVE to buy that pattern.”

Me: “I didn’t ask for you to give to me for free. I asked you where it was.”

Cashier: “It’s in a book and I’m not about to give it to you for free.”

Me: “Okay, will you tell me which book it is in?”

Cashier:  *points to book on display BEHIND the counter*

Me:  “Can I see it, please?”

Cashier: “It’s not free. You have to buy the whole book.”


(I go off to look for the recommended yarn. Another staff member walks through the yarn section.)

Me:  “Excuse me. Do you know where this yarn is?”

Staff Member: “I don’t know anything about the yarn section.” *walks off*

(I head over to counter and pull my out phone to ring my work.)

Me: “Hey, [Colleague]. I’m at [Rival Store] and am being given shocking customer service. Can you check to see if we carry this knitting book and yarn please?”

(It turned out we did. I just had to wait a couple of days till my next shift.)

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A Few Cards Short Of A Deck

| London, England, UK | Right | August 2, 2014

(I work for an alcoholic beverage company that has a staff shop at head office. The shop has recently started a scheme whereby all the retired employees on the pension scheme have been sent cards with their pension number on them and in invitation to buy at the store. Many of them have been calling the store to have the scheme explained and I am dealing with one such customer’s enquiry over the phone, and am rather eager to get the call finished as it has already dragged on a bit.)

Customer: “So, when I come down to head office do I need anything to prove that I’m a pensioner?”

Me: “Yes. All you need to do is bring along your [Company] card that you ought to have been sent.”

Customer: “Oh, I don’t have one of those…”

Me: “That is strange. Mayb—”

Customer: “Do you think I should call head office and ask them to send me a card?”

Me: “Well, yes, I suppose that would be your best option.”

Customer: “…though I do have this card that came with the newsletter with my pension number printed on the [Company] card…”

Me: “Ah! In that case that’ll be the one you need. A white card, yes?”

Customer: “Oh… no, no it’s not white.”

Me: “Hmm, well…”

Customer: “It really is more of a cream colour.”

Me: “…”

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Give Them An Inch And They’ll Take A Vile

| Duluth, MN, USA | Right | July 31, 2014

(I take a phone call for someone in the bedding department:)

Customer: “I’m looking for a white duvet, but I need it to cover a bedspread that is 96 x 114. I can’t seem to find anything that will fit.”

Me: “The closest thing I have is only 104″, but I think you could fit an extra 10″ in just fine.”

Customer: “Oh, believe me, honey. I’ve stuffed 10″ in before!”

Me: *stunned silence*

Customer: *laughing* “What did you say your name was? I am definitely going to find you when I come in to the store!”

Me: “Um, I think I can have it waiting at the checkout for you.”

Showing Signs Of A Recovery

, | Canberra, ACT, Australia | Right | July 31, 2014

(I am the customer in this story. I have just had a rant about customers in my store not reading signs to my fiancé while he was buying shoes.)

Me: “Ah, these are nice.” *to sales clerk* “Excuse me, there is no 50% off sticker on these. Don’t you have a 50% off sale like the sign on the window says?”

Sales Clerk: “Uh, no. That only applies to certain brands and this brand isn’t on sale.”

Me: “Oh, no! I’ve turned into that customer that doesn’t read the whole sale sign! I was just ranting about those!”

(We had a good laugh and talked about horrible customers and how sometimes we accidentally have those moments, so I think I was forgiven.)

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