CONTENT WARNING: Abusive Parent, Miscarriage
My mother is… to put it bluntly, awful. I haven’t had much contact over the years but she has been pressuring me to see her so she can “make amends.” I believe in second chances so I agree to meet her for a coffee and we’ll see how it goes.
As soon as we’ve sat down I start to recognize the behavior my mother engages in that keeps me away, although this time it’s directed at our poor young waitress; she looks like she’s still in her teens.
Mother: “You don’t have mint tea? That’s disappointing.”
Waitress: “Yes, ma’am, we only have breakfast, Earl Grey, green, and lemon.”
There is a moment of silence where my mother somehow seems to think the waitress can do more.
Mother: “Well?! How are you going to fix this for me?”
Waitress: “I can bring you any tea that’s on the menu, ma’am.”
Mother: “But I want mint!”
Me: “Mom, they don’t have it. Just order a tea that they do have.”
Mother: “If I am paying $3.50 for a tea, I want it to be the tea that I want!”
Waitress: “The lemon tea is quite popular here, and—”
Mother: “You incompetent little tramp! Did I ask for lemon? Did I? No. I am here having a nice lunch with my daughter and your ineptitude is ruining it.”
Waitress: “Ma’am, I—”
Mother: “And now you’re interrupting! Take it from an experienced mother, a young woman like you should shut up and know her place! You’ll never find a husband and have children if this is what one can expect of you.”
The waitress just stares coldly at my mother, and then removes her apron (part of the uniform here) and just walks out the door.
Me: “Manager, please!”
Mother: “Thank you! The manager needs to be made aware that their waitress just—”
Me: “—just what? Endured a ream of verbal abuse from a pathetic old woman who has no joy in her life so tries to suck it out from everybody else’s? I’m calling the manager over to let them know what you just did and that the waitress is not to be in trouble!”
Mother: “You young people are so sensitive when it comes to words from the wise!”
The manager comes over and I explain the situation.
Manager: “Ma’am, this was her first day back at work after going through a rough time. You and your words are not welcome here. Please leave.”
Mother: “Hmph! Fine. Come on [My Name], let’s find a place with real service.”
Me: “I’m not leaving with you.”
Mother: “All I said was—”
Another waitress, likely even younger than the one that served us, is in tears and can’t hold back what she wants to say.
Other Waitress: “She just got back from having a miscarriage you absolute b****!”
My mother looks shocked. The manager tells the other waitress to go to the back, no doubt because she revealed personal information that our waitress likely didn’t want to disclose to a customer.
My mother looks to me, possibly hoping for some kind of rescue.
Mother: “But… all I said was—”
Me: “That a woman who has just lost a child that she’s going to be a bad mother. Well, I guess it takes one to know one! Get out.”
Thankfully that was enough to get my mother out of there. I stayed to finish my drink and leave a nice tip for the waitress. I came back a few days later and found out the waitress had indeed quit. My mother was the person who pushed her over the edge… and I can relate.
