28 Comments Later

| New Orleans, LA, USA | Right | March 12, 2016

(My restaurant has a comment-card box where customers can tell us their opinions this is an anonymous card we found in the box one day.)

Card: “I found your food to be quite delicious, your service amazing, and the prices incredibly cheap. I shall be back again- OH S***, THE ZOMBIES HAVE FOUND ME! AAAAAAAAAAAAGH!!!!!!!”

(We now refer to the comment-card box as the Zombie-Box.)

Getting To The Real Sauce Of The Problem

| FL, USA | Right | March 11, 2016

(I work at a restaurant known for our fish and chips, which is made with codfish. I am serving a family of five and taking a teenage boy’s order.)

Me: “And what would you like?”

Customer: “The fish and chips. But I don’t want any cod with it.”

Me:” Excuse me?”

Customer: “No cod.”

(I’m really confused at this point and thinking the kid just wants a pile of fried batter.)

Me: “So, uhm, how exactly did you want it?”

Customer’s Dad: “You know cod is the fish, right?”

Customer: “You mean it’s not the sauce that comes with it?”

Customer’s Dad: “No, that’s tartar sauce.”

Customer: “Oh! No tartar sauce, please.”

Adele Never Had This Issue

, | TN, USA | Working | March 11, 2016

(I’m a manager at a popular fast food restaurant. The phone is ringing but i’m too busy at the moment to grab it. I flag down an employee who has a history of asking not so bright questions.)

Me: “Hey, [Coworker], can you grab the phone for me?”

Coworker: *gives me a blank look* “What do I say?”

Me: “You could always start with hello and work from there.”

An Extra Order Of English Muffins

| IA, USA | Right | March 10, 2016

(My senior year of high school, I worked in a very small diner in a very small town. I make a bet with my manager that I can convince a table that I am from England. One Saturday morning, he seats an elderly couple and tells me that it was their first time in the restaurant. I took this as my cue.)

Me: *in a very thick, fake English accent* “Good morning! May I get you something to drink?”

Customer #1: “Are you English?!”

Me: *laughs* “Yes. My father moved here a few years ago and I’m visiting him for a few months.”

Customer #2: “Poor girl. Came all the way across the ocean just to work in a diner. We’ll have coffee, dear.”

Me: “All right. I’ll have that right out to you.”

(I get them their drinks and take their order when another table walks in and sits directly behind them. I go up and get their drink order in my normal voice, knowing that the other table can hear me. Throughout their stay, I alternate accents. The second table, after I explain to them what I am doing, laugh and wish me luck. During their meal, they ask me all sorts of questions such as where I came from, what it’s like in the United Kingdom, and such. Having never actually BEEN there, I went off what little knowledge I actually had to answer their questions.)

Customer #1: *to my manager on their way out* “You treat her nice now! She came all the way from England!”

Customer #2: *hands me $20* “Enjoy your stay here, young lady.”

(After they leave.)

Manager: “What just happened?”

Me: “I do believe I just won that bet, sir.”

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Someone Didn’t Have Their Spinach Today

| USA | Working | March 10, 2016

(I order a pizza online and go to pick it up.)

Worker: “Can I help?”

Me: “I’m here to pick up an order.”

Worker: “Name?”

(I give my name and he pulls out a pizza and sprinkles spinach on it. I’m a little confused because I thought the pizza was baked with all the ingredients in it. Oh well.)

Worker: “Total is $[amount]. You know, if you ordered it online, you could get it for cheaper.”

Me: “I did.”

Worker: “What? Oh.” *looks at screen for a few minutes, looks at pizza again* “…Sorry, what did you say you were here for? Delivery?”

(I managed to pay and leave with my pizza, eventually. I guess all the hot fumes from the ovens must’ve cooked his brain!)

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