I work as a server in a steakhouse. One day, a family comes in and orders steak. Pretty normal. We get them their steaks, and pretty much immediately, they start complaining.

Customer: “Either your knives are dull, or the steak is too tough!”

The chef walks out there and looks at them trying to cut through the steak.

Chef: “Why are you using the back side of the knives?”

The family flipped the knives over at the chef’s request, and the steak cut perfectly well.

I have served a table with two young guys who both ordered a rather large amount of food. I go back to check on them after seating a larger table to see that they have dined and dashed. I forlornly go to inform my manager.

Manager: “But… they booked using their membership account. We have, like… all their details! We even have the credit card details they used that we charge a no-show fee with!”

Me: “So, what are you going to do?”

Manager: “I’m about to see how far I can push our ‘automatic gratuity’ percentage!”

Their bill came to over $120, and the system allowed my manager to charge their card a 100% gratuity charge, effectively bringing their bill to $240!

A few days later, my manager tells me he got this phone call.

Caller: “Why do I have a f****** $240 charge from you guys on my Amex?!”

After looking up the details.

Manager: “Ah, yes, that would be the young gentleman with the Chicago Cubs jersey who dined with us at the weekend. He and his friend skipped out on the bill, but they left their credit card details with us via an online booking.”

There followed a few moments of silence while the caller processed this.

Caller: “…That was my son.”

Manager: “As I surmised.”

Caller: “And you’re telling me he ran out without paying?”

Manager: “Yes, as confirmed by both my waitstaff and our camera footage.”

Caller: “Even though they made a reservation online using my credit card.”

Manager: “That appears to be the case, yes, sir.”

Caller: “Those stupid motherf***ers!” *Click*

Literally the next day, I see one of those young diners enter the restaurant with his stern-looking father.

Said father makes his son apologize and makes him give us another $100 cash as a tip.

Father: “That’s his allowance. It’s not my money this time. And because of this, he’ll be working for me… for free… until he goes to college!”

Manager: “Thank you, sir. We appreciate it.”

Father: “Hopefully, college will teach him not to be so f****** stupid!” 

They both left, and we all burst out laughing.

Our region gets lots of celebrities in the area for the summer, often some of the real Hollywood A-listers!

We also have a local nobody who thinks he’s a big-shot celebrity. He never tips and always crumples up both copies of the bill into a tiny little ball, even chews on it, until it’s the size of a spitball.

This jerk comes in with a bunch of friends and treats them all to supper. He gets the $600 bill, crumples up the bills again into the tiny little ball, and flicks it at me with a grin on his face.

I swiftly kick it off the patio and into the lake our patio is on. He sees this and says, in front of the table:

Customer: “I guess you won’t know what your tip is now.”

I tell the table flat-out:

Me: “He never tips anyway, so no loss.”

I simply walked away, but the mood at that table was a lot more solemn after that. His guests left cash tips.

Related:
Tipped To Be A Good Night

I am sixteen, and I’m working at my family’s restaurant. There is a Christmas party group who has booked out the front room. This one old guy keeps complaining every time I bring him food or take the finished plates away.

When dessert comes, he makes a snide comment and I burst into tears. I get back to the kitchen, and my dad sees me crying.

Dad: “What’s wrong?”

Me: “It’s okay. Don’t worry.”

Dad: “Was it a customer?”

Me: “…”

Within seconds, my dad storms out of the kitchen and asks the entire front room: 

Dad: “Who made my daughter cry?!” 

The room goes silent, and everyone points out the jerk. 

Dad: “You think you’re tough, eh? Making a child cry? You enjoy doing that?! You’re going now, and you’re not welcome back!” 

Customer: “But she wasn’t doing a good job!” 

Dad: “And you’re not doing a good job as a human, so go f*** yourself.”

I miss working with him!

I am talking about previous work experience with a new coworker.

Coworker: “What is the most ridiculous customer complaint you’ve gotten?”

Me: “A customer tried to get me fired because her salad portion was too small.”

Coworker: “Well, boo her for trying to get you fired, but complaining about a small portion isn’t that bad.”

Me: “It was a self-service buffet place.”

Coworker: “I take that back. You win!”