Tipping The Scales

, , , , , | Right | April 3, 2020

(I have just handed the check to a table of four young customers who look like they might be in high school. Their bill is $42.58 and they leave me $43 in cash. I immediately chase after them as they are just leaving the building, thinking it must have been a mistake.)

Me: “Hey, guys! I was just wondering if something was wrong with my service tonight? You only left me 42 cents as a tip.” 

Customer: “Well, no, there wasn’t a problem. We just didn’t have enough money extra to leave you a tip.” 

Me: “Okay… Just so I’m understanding correctly… you think it’s acceptable to come into a restaurant and order enough food that you can barely pay for down to basically the last penny and then not tip your server?” 

Customer: “Well… like I said… we just didn’t have enough left over.” 

Me: “Then next time you want to come out, either make sure you have enough money to pay for what you want, assuming you all can add correctly, and either order less food so you can tip appropriately… or, to save everyone the headache, just stay home. Because now, when I clock out of here tonight, I will have to tip out the bar, the bus boy, and pay taxes from all the tips I made, which technically means it cost me money to wait on you. That is literally the opposite of what my purpose is in coming to work every day. So, thank you very much for wasting my time. If you come back, just be aware that I will absolutely refuse to serve you and I can’t tell you that anyone else here will want to, either. Have a nice night!” 

(One of the girls came in to complain to my manager, but when he heard my side of the story, too, he basically laughed in her face and told her that we don’t really need customers like them, anyway. At the end of the night, he even bought me a beer. WINNING.)

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Almost As Bad As Diet Water

, , , | Right | April 3, 2020

(I’m a server at a counter-service style restaurant. We also do takeout orders and customers can order over the phone. One day, the phone rings and I answer it.)

Me: “Hi, this is [Restaurant].”

Caller: “Do you have non-nutritional water?”

Me: *confused* “I’m sorry, sir, can you please repeat that?”


Me: “I’m sorry, sir, I’m not sure what that is. We have bottled [Brand #1] and [Brand #2] water, and we also have water in the soda fountain.”

Caller: “Well, that’s no help!” *hangs up phone*

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The One Arguing About The Expired Coupon Is Usually The Cheap One

, , , , , | Right | April 3, 2020

(I work at a local Mongolian grill chain that is fairly popular. A man comes in with his wife, enjoys his dinner, and then comes up to pay.)

Man: “Hi, I have this coupon.”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, this coupon has expired.”

Man: “You’re cheap.”

Me: “Excuse me?”

(The man then hands me his card. I run it like usual. All the while he is staring at me in the eyes.) 

Man: “You’re cheap! You should honor this!”

Me: “I am sorry, sir, but if I did, I would get in troub—”

(He interrupts me.)

Man: “CHEAP!”

Me: “I don’t make the rules, sir.”

(He walks away, still glaring at me, yelling.)


(I couldn’t help but chuckle a bit. If using the coupon was that important, you’d think he’d have read the expiration date before trying to use it.)

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Unfiltered Story #191457

, , | Unfiltered | April 3, 2020

I work at a Chinese Food Take-Out place in where we also sell Sushi. I take the calls, so on Friday being very hot out most people who ordered decided they want sushi. This is how my call played out

Me: “This is *Restaurant Name Here*, is this for Pick-Up or Delivery?
Woman: “Delivery Please”
Me: (After confirming her address) “OK What would you like?”

At this point she list a few food items fairly quickly then stops,

Woman: “You usually give good recommendations, I am looking for a sushi roll but I want it cooked.”
Me: “Sure, well I usually recommend the special rolls but if you want a basic sushi roll how about a California roll?”
Woman: “But isn’t that with fake crab?”
Me: “Yes”
Woman: “No I do not want fake crab, let me see…how about the special rolls what do you recommend?”
Me: “Uh, the Tiger roll”
Woman: “But that has shrimp! My husband is allergic to shrimp”
Me: “How about Eel?”
Woman: “I don’t think I like Eel, how about the Phili roll? Oh wait that has cream cheese I do not like cream cheese”
Me: “Well our deep fried rolls are the most popular, you really can’t not like it”
Woman: “I don’t want a deep fried roll, I had a really good roll last time it had mango! It was really good.”
Me: “The only roll we have with Mango is raw…”
Woman: “Then I don’t want that one, but the one I had was REALLLLY good, I wish I knew what is was called! Oh gosh…well what else do you recommend as a cooked special roll?”
Me: “Uh how about the golden spider? The other ones that are cooked have things you do not like, like eel, shrimp or they are deep fried”
Woman: “Is that fake crab in it though?”
Me: “Yes”
Woman: “Then I don’t want that one”

I stay silent for a few moments giving up, everything we have that is cooked she does not want and I realize I can’t win.

Woman: “Just give me the California roll”
Me: “OK”
Woman: “Now what do you recommend in poultry?”

No Such Thing As Too Much Garlic

, , , , , | Working | April 2, 2020

My mother and I are out at a nice Italian restaurant for dinner. At this restaurant, any dinner comes with salad and garlic knots as a starter. When the knots come out, they are completely covered in garlic, which neither of us mind too much.

My mom loves to kid around with restaurant employees and jokingly asks our server if we could possibly get more garlic. Usually, when my mom does this, the server laughs a bit, but ours says nothing and walks away.

We think nothing of it until the server returns a few minutes later with a bowl of garlic! To this day I still wonder if it was a joke or if she actually thought we wanted more garlic on our already garlic-drowned garlic knots.

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