Don’t Sweat It; No, Seriously, Don’t Sweat

, , , , | Right | October 10, 2017

(It is summer in San Diego, around 1:00 pm, and our air conditioner is broken. It is quite warm, to say the least. We are busy, and sweating is inevitable. I have a table of two women, maybe in their 40s, and I have just returned with their drinks.)

Me: “Ladies, are you ready to order?”

(One of them hands me a napkin because of the perspiration blatantly streaming down my forehead. I take it as a kind gesture, so I pat my forehead dry.)

Customer: “It’s a bit warm, huh?”

Me: “Thank you. Yes, it is; our air conditioner is broken.”

Customer: “You know, it’s not polite to sweat in front of customers.”

Me: “Um, I’m sorry, but it’s very hot in here, and I can’t really help it.”

Customer: “Oh. You’re one of those people.”

(…wait, what?)

Unfiltered Story #97628

, | Unfiltered | October 10, 2017

(I end up going to meet some friends for dinner directly after work, so I’m still in my work clothes, which includes a T-shirt that reads “Keep Calm and Ask a Librarian.” During dinner I get up to go find the restaurant’s restrooms, but since they’re not clearly marked I end up asking the manager.)

Me: “Excuse me, where are your restrooms?”

Manager: “Shouldn’t I be asking you that?”

Me: “Uh…”

Manager: “Your shirt says to ask you.”

(I caught on at that moment, and thankfully we had a good laugh and he pointed the restrooms out to me.)

Cashing Out Some Kindness

, , , , | Hopeless | October 8, 2017

(I work for a bulk store that also has a little eatery inside where you can purchase freshly-made food like pizza and hotdogs. I am wearing slacks and a polo shirt, which is the requirement for my area. I don’t have on my lanyard with my name tag, because I’m on my lunch break in line for the eatery. There are two older ladies who are in front of me, with three or so people in line in front of them, and they look me up and down a few times before it clicks in their minds.)

Lady #1: *with a sound of concern* “Do you work here?”

Me: “Yeah, I’m on my lunch break right now.”

Lady #2: “Then you have to go in front of us!”

Me: “Oh, no, that’s fine. You don’t need to—”

Lady #1: *cutting me off and gently taking my arm to move me in front of her* “Yes, I do! You’re on a time limit; you go right ahead!”

Me: “Are you sure?”

Lady #1: “Oh, yes. We used to work for a living, too; we know how it is.”

Me: *touched, because this has never happened before* “Thank you! You know, in almost five years, you two ladies are the first people to ever let me go ahead of them.”

Lady #2: “I bet that’s because you’re not wearing your vest or your name tag! You should try that; I bet it’ll happen more often!”

(I didn’t have the heart to tell them that I don’t usually wear my name tag on my lunch breaks, because every time I forget someone sees it and spends the whole time either trying to ask me about what specials we’re going to have in six months, which they’ll know about before we do, or complaining about someone who made them wait five minutes while they helped another customer. These two ladies lit up my entire week with that little show of kindness on their part.)

Do Not Make Contact With Your Girlfriend

, , , , , , | Romantic | October 8, 2017

(I am waiting for my boyfriend at a restaurant and this happens:)

Stranger With Glasses: *walks up to me* “Hey, beautiful.”

(The stranger kisses me before I can react. I freak out and punch him in the face, throwing him to the floor and knocking off his glasses.)

Me: “YOU CRAZY SICKO! Wait a minute… [Boyfriend]?”

(And that’s how I found out my boyfriend wears contacts.)

Their Relationship Is About To Get A Shake-down

, , , , | Right | October 7, 2017

(I get a phone call from a customer.)

Caller: “I just got my shake, and it isn’t a shake; it’s just milk!”

(As I start to request details, I realize that her shake was made almost 40 minutes ago. It was a fairly unique shake, so, to be sure that she has called the right location, and I am dealing with the right order, I ask:)

Me: “Is this the order from a half hour ago… with the [Soda], too?”

Caller: “No! We were just there!”

(The woman on the phone then starts yelling at someone in the background.)

Caller: “What else was on the order?!”

(I start to feel uneasy, because when we handed the order out, there was a man and a woman in the vehicle, but I get the impression that this caller is not that woman. I hear the man in the background.)

Man In Background: “I just got your food, baby; I just left there. Wait, hand me the phone. Let me talk to them. They pulled me up and parked me; that’s why the shake melted!”

(The caller screams at me that we parked him.)

Me: “We may have, but I’m still trying to figure out which order yours was, and the last car we parked was 30 minutes ago. What else was on the order? Was this the guy who had the [Shake that she is claiming that is milk], the two kids’ meals, and the [Soda]?”

(There was silence on the phone. Then, I heard what sounded like a demon unleashing their wrath upon someone. Then, the phone hung up. I wish I didn’t have to deal with people trying to involve my job in their breakup or infidelity.)

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