That’s The Last Time You Wing It

| Minneapolis, MN, USA | Right | May 23, 2017

(I’m in line at a Chinese fast-food restaurant and there will be a two minute wait until a fresh batch of fried rice is ready.)

Employee: “That was six wings?”

Customer: “Yes, but I need those in two separate containers.”

(Employee puts three in one container, and then moves to the second.)

Employee: “I’m adding a couple of extra to apologize for the wait.”

Customer: *angrily* “Well, how many are in the other one?”

Employee: “Three.”

Customer: “Hmph!” *stomps away to the register*

Setting A Bad Ex-Sample

| Washington, DC, USA | Working | May 23, 2017

(I am on a trip to D.C. with my parents and stop by a restaurant for lunch. This particular restaurant makes its own beer and has a sample deal where they give you a sample of six different beers in teeny shot glasses if you ask for them. My parents do this.)

Waiter: *bringing the samples to the table* “Here are your samples. Enjoy! Are you ready to order yet?”

(We do, and after he leaves with our order, we just chat, not touching the beers. The waiter comes back to check on us.)

Waiter: *seeing our full sample glasses* “Is there something wrong with the beer?”

Dad: “Oh, no, we just want to eat something first before drinking, or we’ll get drunk!”

Waiter: *gives us a confused look* “Okay…”

(He walked off, still confused. We noticed that a woman at a nearby booth that had arrived soon after us was already totally plastered and we looked at each other bewildered.)

In A Momentary Vegetative State

| WI, USA | Related | May 22, 2017

(My mom and I have just been served our entrees.)

Mom: “This is nice, but I wish it came with some vegetables.”

Me: “Mom. You ordered eggplant spinach parmesan. It is vegetables.”

Mom: “Oh. I guess it is.”

Their Attitudes Are Fluid

| OR, USA | Related | May 21, 2017

(I’m 19 years old and have just figured out that I’m genderfluid. I decide it’d be best to tell my dad first since he’s always been the more progressive one of my parents. I do this over lunch one day when it’s just the two of us. Note: My parents are divorced and both my mother and I have naturally low levels of estrogen.)

Me: “Hey, dad, I have something to tell you. I’m genderfluid.”

Dad: *not really paying attention* “What’s that now?”

Me: “I said I’m genderfluid. That means I’m not a girl; I’m actually sometimes a boy and sometimes I’m neither. I want to start transitioning physically, and need some help starting hormone replacement therapy.”

Dad: “You mean you want to take estrogen?”

Me: *a bit shocked at his ignorance* “No, dad, I want to take testosterone. I’m not a girl; I don’t need estrogen.”

Dad: “Oh, no, it’s probably just because you’re low on the stuff that you only think you should be a boy! Don’t worry, we’ll get you to a doctor and fix this.”

(I’m now terrified of how bad coming out to my conservative mother could be after THAT disaster, but I eventually tell her over breakfast a few months later.)

Me: “So, I’m not your daughter anymore, and I want to start hormone replacement soon. That means I’ll be taking shots of testosterone to get rid of the estrogen in my body. Is that okay?”

Mom: “Of course that’s okay! Why wouldn’t it be?”

Me: “Dad said I feel like a boy because I don’t have enough female hormones.”

Mom: “Your dad has always been the type to do that! Our levels are the same and I’ve never once thought I was anything but a woman! Now, how about we get your hair cut? It’s looking a little long for a young man.”

(I’m now 22 and started HRT almost a year ago, and strangely enough in the end my father did more research and became more tolerant, while my mother constantly asks me why I’m denying her grandchildren even though my brother already has a kid!)

An Amazing Comeback

| Milwaukee, WI, USA | Right | May 20, 2017

(The head manager at the restaurant I work at is just a few months from retirement, and is simply done with working. This can be annoying, as we will frequently have to pick up the slack for him, but it has led to a few funny moments like this one.)

Customer: “I specifically ordered the salad without dressing, and just look at it! I swear, you better give me a refund, or I am never coming here again!”

Manager: “Mhhmm…”

Customer: *after a couple awkward moments of silence* “Well?”

Manager: “What’s your name, again?”

Customer: “[Customer]. Why?”

Manager: “I was just thinking we should probably put a sign out front, to remind you that you promised to never come here again. You seem to keep forgetting and showing up.”

(The customer went beet red and walked out, while his friends laughed and followed him. The next week, he apparently walked in again and spotted the head manager behind the counter, who gave him a wave. He was dead silent through his whole visit. No complaints.)

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