These Boots Were Not Just Made For Walking

, , , , , | Friendly | August 1, 2018

(I’m having lunch with my dad and my girlfriend.)

Dad: “So, how is the wedding planning going?”

Me: “Pretty well.”

Girlfriend: “We found two super cute dresses for a great price, and my uncle said his firm can supply the food.”

(A man in the booth next to us suddenly turns and glares at us.)

Man: “Would you two [slurs] shut up already? I’m trying to eat!”

Dad: “Mind your own d*** business, or you’ll have my footprint tattooed on your a**.”

Man: “Who do you think you are, old man? I’m going to break your [slur]-loving face.”

Dad: “I’m a father first and foremost, but I’m also a retired police officer.”

(This caused the man to go snow white. He sheepishly paid for his half-eaten meal and left. Dad acted like nothing happened for the rest of the day.)

Civility Crumbles Like A Cookie

, , , , , | Right | August 1, 2018

(I work at a restaurant that has soups, salads, and sandwiches. We are known for good service, but if we get something wrong, we promise a free pastry. This woman has come before, claiming that we got her order wrong and demanding a pastry. The last few times we have given her the pastry, but now it’s just getting old. I’m working the drive-thru one day and it’s pretty busy. She comes and orders:)

Customer: “Hi, I would like [order].”

Me: “All right, that will be [total] at the window.”

(She comes up to the drive-thru window and I give her the order.)

Me: “There you go. Have a nice day!”

Customer: “Yeah, okay.”

(She checks her bag and, of course, tells me it’s wrong.)

Customer: “When will you people ever get anything right? My order is wrong again, so I get another cookie!”

Me: “Ma’am, I remember taking your order, and that’s exactly what you ordered.”

Customer: “Really? You’re going to talk back to a customer? I demand to see the manager.”

(I get my manager and she repeats the whole thing over. I tell my manager that she is lying, and she believes me because she has dealt with her before.)

Manager: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but if [My Name] says you ordered that, then there is nothing I can do.”

Customer: “What horrible service!”

Me: “Miss, you are holding up the line.”

Customer: “You people disgust me.”

Me: “Miss, you’re fighting with me over a pastry.”

(The lady huffs and throws the bag of food at me. I step back, stunned. My manager comes to the window once more to talk to the lady, but she has already driven off.)

Manager: “Are you all right?”

Me: “Yeah, I’m fine, thanks.”

(The lady never came back, thankfully, and the cops were called for harassment. They caught her and arrested her.)

Next Time We Know Where To Shove Those Pancakes

, , , , , | Right | August 1, 2018

(My family and I are at a popular restaurant on Mother’s Day — a Sunday — so the restaurant is quite busy, and there is a thirty-minute wait. Finally, we are seated, and then we see why there is such a long wait. There is a family who is taking up four tables. There are six kids, and five adults, but they do not need four tables. As we sit down, we hear them order. They are ordering the biggest and most time-consuming meals in the restaurant, with a ridiculous amount of sides. [Waitress #1] is already overwhelmed by the amount of people. She eventually brings all their food out and tries to get our drink order. Before she can finish, the mother from the other table calls her over.)

Mother: “Excuse me, all of our orders are wrong! I want you to take them all back and remake them the right way, and get us the right food this time!”

Waitress #1: “What is wrong with your food?”

Mother: “They all are cold, half are wrong, this one is undercooked, this one is burnt, and that one just looks plain nasty. It’s all just wrong!”

(She goes on for about five more minutes before she demands ALL of their meals are taken back and remade. At this point, half of their food is already eaten. It’s clear what they are doing now. The waitress is stressing even more and begins tearing up.)

Waitress #1: “Ma’am, you already have eaten half of your meals; I can’t possible take them back now—”

Mother: “Shut up. Take them back. We are not paying and waiting this long to get s***ty food! Take. It. All. Back. NOW!”

Waitress #1: “I’ll see what I can do.”

(A few minutes later, she comes back with will their orders remade. Because of this, we still have yet to get our drinks. As soon as the food is placed on the table, there is another problem.)

Mother: “Umm, no. My son ordered the strawberry banana pancakes. Those are not strawberry banana. I don’t know what those… things are.”

Waitress #1: “Those are definitely strawberry ban—”

Father: “Stop. If my wife says they are wrong, then they are wrong. Go get the right pancakes, now!”

(She sighs and takes another half-eaten meal to bring a new one back. We have ordered our food, but have not gotten it yet because the family next to us keeps sending more and more food back. Soon, the manager comes out and tells them they can’t order any more food. They get irritated and complain, but it does nothing. [Waitress #1] comes out again. It’s obvious she has been crying.)

Mother: “Hey, you! Our drinks are wrong, too. Bring us back all new ones. Oh, and you got my son’s pancakes wrong again.”

([Waitress #1] has had enough of their s*** like everyone else has.)

Waitress #1: “I already brought you your pancakes!”

(She walks off without listening to anything else and rubs her head. A tear rolls down her face. We have our food now, and they finish theirs soon after. We think it is over, but it’s not even close. At this point, their brat kids have destroyed the table and gotten food all over the floor. They are also being extremely loud and obnoxious. Everyone has asked countless times for the kids to calm down, but it is either ignored or a rude remark is said and nothing is done. Soon, the manager comes out again and hands them their check. This just makes the mother even angrier.)


Manager: “I can’t do that! You got the right foo—”

Father: “Just listen to her!”

(The manager storms off and sends [Waitress #2] to give them their new check. They get four meals and all their drinks off the check. It still isn’t good enough.)

Father: “Of course, you forgot the military discount. Incompetence.”

(He tosses the check onto the table into the smeared mess. [Waitress #1] comes back and takes the check. Their final price is $80.32. They all scoff, pay, and leave in a rush. They don’t leave a tip, but they leave a huge mess. Both waitresses come to our table and look somewhat relieved.)

Waitress #1: “I would like to thank you guys for not being like that last family.”

Waitress #2: “I can’t believe people actually do stuff like that! They just took so much food and money from us. I don’t know why my boss didn’t just kick them out…”

Waitress #1: “I am so sorry for that and the huge inconvenience.”

My Mother: “You don’t have to apologize for anything. It’s not your fault a**holes like that are allowed in restaurants.”

My Father: “I would like to apologize on behalf of all military men like that. They give us all a bad name, and we’re not all like that f****** d**k.”

(The waitress started to cry again and my mother got up and hugged her. She thanked my dad for his service and thanked us all for being so kind. We paid and left a $30 tip for what that woman had to go through. Later, we found out the family had quite the bad reputation in our town for trying to screw restaurants out of money and food, then leaving huge messes and never tipping. People like that should not be allowed in restaurants.)

Too Chicken To Add Shrimp

, , , , , , | Right | July 31, 2018

(I am standing in line waiting to pay for a to-go order when I overhear the following:)

Customer: “I want the chicken broccoli with extra shrimp.”

Cashier: “So, you want chicken broccoli, and you want to add shrimp?”

Customer: “No, I want extra shrimp.”

Cashier: “Chicken broccoli comes with chicken; did you want shrimp broccoli?”

Customer: “No, I want chicken broccoli with extra shrimp.”

Cashier: “So, two extra add shrimps?”

Customer: “No, I don’t want to add shrimp; I want extra shrimp.”

(I see the cashier die a little inside as she realizes she won’t be able to make this person understand.)

Cashier: “It’s an extra dollar.”

No Sunshine On This Cloudy Day

, , , , | Right | July 30, 2018

(I work in a fast food restaurant next to a hospital in one of the most sketchy parts of town. Our policy is that if a customer is missing food, we can only replace it if they have a receipt.)

Customer: “I was missing a sausage, egg, and cheese biscuit.”

Me: “Okay, pull around to the window and I’ll fix your order.”

Customer: *pulls around*

Me: “Do you have your receipt?”

Customer: “My what?”

Me: “Your receipt. I can’t replace it if I don’t have a receipt.”

Customer: “Nah, my girl came through earlier.”

Me: “Does she have a receipt? Or do you know what she ordered, so I can pull the order back up?”

Customer: “Nah, my girl came through. Do you not remember my girl?”

Me: *agitated* “I don’t know who your ‘girl’ is.”

Customer: “But that’s my girl. How do you not know my girl?”

(I just shut the window and let him pull up and speak with a manager.)

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