My mom, my grandma, and I are out at a fairly nice restaurant celebrating my mom’s birthday. My mom hates being sung to at restaurants and will refuse if anyone mentions that it’s her birthday. Our waiter has just stopped to greet us and take our drink orders.

Waiter: “Are we celebrating anything today?”

Mom: “No, not really.”

Grandma: “It’s her birthday!”

Mom: “Oh, no, no, please! It isn’t even today!”

Waiter: *Scoffs* “This place is too upscale; we don’t sing here.”

I work in the deli section of a mainly Asian grocery store where we serve hot Chinese food. Our combinations include one, two, or three items plus your choice of rice or a noodle; we have two rice and three noodle dishes.

Customer: “I’d like a two-item combo with the fried rice, ginger beef, and beef and broccoli.”

Me: “A two-item with fried rice, ginger beef, and beef and broccoli. For here or to go?”

Customer: “To go.”

The customer walks away to grab a drink. I serve the rice and begin scooping up ginger beef. The customer returns.

Customer: “That’s not what I ordered.”

Me: “Oh, I’m sorry, ma’am, I thought you said a two-item combo with fried rice, ginger beef, and beef and broccoli?”

The customer points at the Singapore fried vermicelli noodle.

Customer: “Yeah, I want that one. It says right here on the tag Singapore Fried. That’s what I want.”

Me: “So the fried vermicelli noodle, ginger beef, and beef and broccoli, not the fried rice? Sorry about that!”

I start dishing up the new combination for her.

Customer’s Friend: “Ugh! The service here is terrible!”

Breakfast in our restaurant consists of either a breakfast buffet, with everything one could possibly want for breakfast including drinks, or an a la carte menu that usually ends up costing more.

An old cowboy type is sitting cross-armed and frowning at one of my tables.

Me: “Good morni—”

The customer speaks without looking at me.

Customer: “Coffee!”

Me: “Sure, I’ll be right back with—”

Customer: “Don’t run off; I’m ready to order! I want three eggs scrambled, bacon, ham, white toast, and an orange juice.”

Me: “Sure, I can have that right out for you; however, just so you are aware, our breakfast bar does have all of that for a little less. It has fresh fruit, yogurt, pastries and bread, all the breakfast meats, and a chef that will make you eggs and omelets to order.”

This must somehow offend him because, seething, he barks at me:

Customer: “I AM NOT WAITING IN LINE FOR EGGS! THAT IS JUST CORPORATE GREED!”

I did not see fit to correct him that profit margins on the a la carte items are far higher but instead happily rang in every item individually as he had requested, amounting to approximately $30 — about twelve dollars more than he would have paid had he walked the twenty feet to the buffet.

Related:
An Entitlement Buffet

(Note: I am the customer in this one, and am extremely tired.)

Me: Can I have an ice cream cone with my meal, please?

Employee: What flavor ice cream would you like with that?

Me: Yes.

(We both wait there for about 30 seconds before I realize my mistake.)

Me: Oh! Chocolate, please.

(Luckily, the rest of the transaction went smoothly.)

(I manage a fast food restaurant in busy shopping area that includes a few other fast food places. This customer was obviously confused about which drive-thru they pulled into. For this instance I’m covering drive-thru while an employee is taking a break)

Me: Thank you for choosing (restaurant #1)! How can I help you today?

Customer: I want a 12 piece bucket with mashed potatoes and Mac and cheese

Me: I’m sorry, sir. This is (restaurant #1). We don’t serve that here.

Customer: What the **** are you talking about? What kind of b******* (restaurant #2) doesn’t serve a bucket of chicken and sides!?

Me: I’m sorry, sir, but this isn’t (restaurant #2), this is (restaurant #1).

At this point the customer pulls up to the window. I open the window to speak with him. Before I can even get a word out:

Customer: I’ve never been treated with so much disrespect at (restaurant #2) before. I want to speak to the manager.

Me: Well, I’m the store manager, is there something I can do for you?

Customer: I don’t want to talk to you! I’m going to call corporate! What’s your name, and what’s the number?

Me: Well, my name is (my name), but I don’t know the number you need. You’re welcome to go across the street and ask them though. (I point across the highway where (restaurant #2) is clearly visible.)

Customer: Never mind! I’ll just Google it. I’m sure they won’t appreciate your bad attitude.

The customer speeds away, never to be heard from again. I did call (restaurant #2) to give them a heads up about it though. We had a good laugh.