(Working fast food is never easy, and sometimes we have to deal with things other than customers. IE: faulty components. It had been raining hard in the morning to mid-afternoon, causing our drive-through speaker to short out, as the wires under the box are not insulated. The customers can hear us, but we can hardly hear them. being the lunch rush, we started getting a large volume of vehicles coming through the drive through, but due to the broken box, we had to take orders one by one at the window, causing a large back up. One lady wait in line for about 5 minutes, decides it’s taking too long in the drive through and parks to come inside. There are only 4 of us working the line at the time, trying to help get the orders out accurately. she wait in the store after placing her order for another 5 minutes, then storms up to the counter.)

Lady: “I’ve been waiting for my order for well over twenty minutes, both here and the drive through! Where is it?!”

Co-worker: Ma’am, due to the recent storm, our speaker box outside isn’t working right. Our staff are working as fast as they can for every customer, and yours should be out soon.”

(we get her order out, and no more than a minute later she returns to the counter, furious.)

Lady: “My order isn’t right! First I had to wait, now this! All you lazy a**holes in the back there aren’t doing your job right! I’m calling corporate!”

Co-worker: “Ma’am, I assure you that we are doing our best as–”

Lady: “Well it isn’t good enough! where is your manager?!”

Me: *sighing quietly, I take off my gloves, walk away from the line, and up to the counter* “Hello Ma’am, My name’s [name], and I’m the Manager In Charge, what seems to be the issue?”

Lady: *in the most sarcastic tone* “Well Mr. [name], I’ve waited over half an hour for my food, both in the drive through and in the lobby then when I get my food it isn’t even correct! What kind of establishment is this?!”

Me: *keeping calm, I try to explain the issue* “Well thanks to the recent rain storm we had here our speaker is a bit–”

Lady: “Yeah yeah whatever! Excuses! Fast food means I am supposed to get my food fast! Not wait an hour to get it! I’m calling corporate and I hope your a** gets fired!”

(the lady then tosses the bag of food at me, and storms out the store, gets in her car and nearly runs down another customer walking in. My boss calls me over after we get the box fixed and the rush ends, near the end of my shift, and I explain the story to him.)

Boss: “Even if she does call corporate, *which she did* it’s not your fault that our speaker box has faulty wiring.”

(The corporate call gets tossed away and deleted like it never happened.)

(My mum decides we need to try a new hipster food place because the guy who owns it is a famous chef and is often on the radio channel she listens to. We are there for lunch and they don’t really have anything that I would like to eat, mainly because of the ingredients; there’s mayo on almost everything. I don’t know if I would consider it a food allergy, but mayo makes me throw up, and vinegar gives me heartburn. So, I decide on the lunch special but tell them I don’t want mayo on the burger, and I request no dressing on the salad. After I order, the chef comes and talks to me.)

Chef: “Are you the one who wanted the burger with no mayo and the salad with no dressing?”

Me: “Yes, please.” *explains my problems with mayo and vinegar*

Chef: “No problem. Would you like some tomato salsa on your burger, instead?”

Me: “Yes, that would be great. Thank you.”

Chef: “Also, the salad dressing only has a little bit of vinegar; you won’t be able to taste it. Mainly it is an emulsion of egg and oil. Just try it; I am sure you’ll like it.”

Me: “No, please don’t put that on my salad.”

(I thought to myself, “You just gave me the definition of mayo, and basically told me the dressing consists of the two things I told you I cannot eat.” They put it on, anyway.)

(I work in a Mexican restaurant, and a couple of months ago our prices increased, leaving many of our customers angry. One evening, while I am working as a cashier, a customer calls in to order food to go. I take down her order, which involves about three orders of cheese dip, three dinners, two extra bags of chips, and some other things.)

Me: “All right, it should be ready in about 15 minutes!”

Customer: “Thanks, I’ll be there in ten! I’m at [Restaurant right down the road].”

(Five minutes later, a young boy walks in for the to-go order. Because people always send others for their food, I think nothing of it and proceed to charge him out.)

Me: *finishing adding up the bill* “All right, sir, it is going to be $50.43.”

(The boy proceeds to look at me and at the register before handing me his card.)

Me: “Thank you! Now your order is finished, but I need to go back to bag it up. I will be right back!”

(He smiles and nods and I go back into the kitchen. I bag up his order quickly and walk back to him. He says nothing, and takes the bag and leaves. About four hours later, my manager comes up to me with a phone and an annoyed expression. He wordlessly hands the phone over to me.)

Me: “Hello?”

Customer: “Hi, yeah, I was charged $20 extra on an order you took earlier.”

Me: “Oh, of course! I remember! Let me find the check.”

(I find it and look through it for about a minute.)

Me: “I can’t find any mistakes… Do you mind telling me what you ordered again? To make sure?”

Customer: *sighs* “Sure, it was…” *tells me her order*

Me: “I see. Well, everything you told me is marked, and it is priced correctly. Let me add it up on the register to make sure.”

(I add up the check. Twice.)

Me: “Well, ma’am, everything is okay with this order. I can’t find anything that is wrong.”

Customer: *getting angry* “No, it is wrong! Your menu says that your cheese dip is $1.50. I paid almost $4 for each one! My bill should have been around $30!”

(As she’s talking I finally realize what happened.)

Me: “Ma’am, do you by any chance happen to have an older menu?”

Customer: “Yes? Why?”

Me: *breathing in a sigh of relief* “Because our prices raised… a couple months ago, actually.”

Customer: “You mean to tell me that your cheese dip isn’t $1.50?”

Me: “Yes.”

Customer: “Then why is it on the menu?”

Me: “Ma’am… that menu is outdated. So is the one online.”

Customer: “But the menu says that it’s $1.50!”

(She is very angry and proceeds to tell me all the prices of the old menu.)

Me: “Ma’am, there is nothing I can do. I am sorry you did not have the updated menu at the time of your order, but there is nothing I can do. I cannot give a refund because you called hours after I gave you the food. I’m sorry, but there’s nothing I can do except pass along the complaint.”

Customer: *very tersely* “Bye.” *hangs up*

(I looked over at my manager and saw that he was trying hard not to laugh.)

So I’m at my job (it’s a McDonalds, by the way) working the overnight shift when this exchange takes place.

Me: Hi how can i help?

Customer: Hey are you guys closed?

Me: (in my best sarcasm voice) Yes we are.

Customer: Oh really?

Me: (giggle) I’m sorry. No we are open. I was just trying to make a joke. What can I make for ya?

Customer: I don’t wanna bother you since your closed. *drives off*

Me and my co-worker at the same time: What.

(I work at a franchise location of a national restaurant chain. After a looong renovation, it has finally reopened as a flagship store for the entire company. Because of this, our owner, district manager, marketing rep, etc. have been there every day during our busy period to help and to work out the kinks. Unfortunately, many of our old staff found other jobs during the six months we were closed, so most of our staff is new, and some are less than stellar employees. One morning, a newer employee calls to say he is going to be late, over two hours after his shift starts. He speaks to a manager with a common name, let’s say Dan. He keeps cutting Dan off and finally hangs up. He calls back a few minutes later, and our district manager — basically the highest authority other than the owners — answers. Our district manager is also named Dan.)

District Manager: “Thank you for calling [Store]; this is Dan.”

(Pause.)

District Manager: “Yes, this is Dan. What’s up, [Employee]?”

(Pause.)

District Manager: “No, you didn’t speak to me earlier… No, you really didn’t… No, I’m not messing with you,[Employee]; you didn’t talk to me… Yes, this is Dan, but I think I’d know if I’d spoken to you in the last ten minutes… You didn’t talk to me, man…”

(Pause.)

District Manager: *perfectly calm* “I’m sorry, but there’s no one here named B****-A**-Motherf***er.” *hangs up*

(The district manager walks over to the other Dan, still completely calm, and says in a conversational tone of voice:)

District Manager: “[Employee] no longer works here.”