Whiskey Whispers

, , , , | Right | February 22, 2021

I am working in a restaurant with a bar. The restaurant offers Irish coffees as a dessert, with a mix of cream and milk on top so that it stays separate from the coffee. I have never been taught how to do this, so I cannot sell it.

One night, two ladies come in.

Lady #1: “Can I get an Irish coffee?”

Me: “I’m sorry, miss, but I haven’t been shown how to make those.”

Lady #1: “Oh, no, I was really in the mood for one.”

Me: “Well, I could offer you a coffee with the whisky shot in and both cream and milk on the side. It’s all the same ingredients, but the presentation won’t be what you want.”

Lady #1: “Oh, no, that’s fine! Yes, I’ll take one of those!”

Lady #2: “I’ll have one, too!”

I create the drinks and serve them.

Lady #1: “Oh. Every other time we’ve gotten this, it comes in a special glass with the cream on top. Why doesn’t this look like that?”

Did she just not listen to a word I said?

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Do You Ever Just Want To Steal Someone’s Kids?

, , , , | Legal | February 21, 2021

I work in a restaurant, and I have a story that is one part funny, one part sad.

A family of four comes in: two kids about eleven and twelve and their “parents,” though I use the term loosely. I know right off the bat that they are going to be trouble.

The first thing that clues me in is that they ask to be seated at a table closest to the door. That’s a big red flag that they are going to dine and dash. I have everyone in the restaurant watching them and I inform the manager. The manager tells me to go ahead and wait on them. What else can we do?

They order expensive seafood platters, drinks, steaks, and fancy desserts. Red flag number two: deliberately ordering the most expensive of everything.

I don’t even get the check to the table; I look over and they are gone.

Coworker: “The parents sent the kids out to the car first, waited a few minutes, and then bolted.”

This is the funny part of this story: they left their car keys on the table!

I pick them up, spin them on my finger, and whistle my way over to the manager and plop them in his hands.

As the manager calls the police, another employee watches through a window as they scramble to the car and frantically look through their pockets for the keys. Then, they all scurry out of the car, run across the street to a strip mall, and go into a fast food joint.

The cops show up, take down our side of the story, and bring the family back over to the restaurant. Now the “parents” try and say that each of them thought the other one took care of the check.

Manager: “Okay, just pay the check now and we won’t press charges.”

OOPS… Guess what? They don’t have any money! We can tell that their weak cover story just blew a big hole in itself and is deflating rapidly, while an officer is standing nearby with a sarcastic expression that says it all without a word being spoken.

Now, all through their blustering story and lack of funds, another officer has had their IDs and has been running their names. No surprise, they put the man in cuffs and into the cruiser he goes; apparently, he has an outstanding warrant! 

The woman makes a few calls on her cell, and about a half-hour later, an older woman shows up and pays the check with her credit card. She looks unhappy but really doesn’t say anything; she just sighs and signs the credit card slip. She even writes in a tip. I am guessing she’s the kids’ grandma.

We give “Mom” her car keys and off they go.

The very sad part of this story: there were two children involved in this. It’s one thing to scam and steal, but to bring your kids along?

I mentioned to the manager that I hoped that this was a lesson to the “parents.” The manager looked depressed and pointed out that the kids didn’t look upset or scared when the police were doing their thing. They had clearly been through this type of thing before and probably would in the future, too. Poor kids.

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Not So Sweet About The Tea

, , , , | Right | February 19, 2021

I work at a restaurant that is half restaurant, half ice cream store. A drive-thru customer has placed an order and requested fresh fries.

There are four other cars behind her when she gets to the second window. My employee opens the window, hands her the drinks, and asks her to pull to the left to wait on her fries. A few seconds later, after the customer pulls around, my employee says:

Employee: “She asked for a free drink for waiting. I told her no.”

After three minutes, her fries are ready, and a different employee takes the order out. The customer asks her:

Customer: “Where is my sweet tea?”

Employee: “Did you pay for a sweet tea?”

Customer: “No.”

The employee walks off. A minute later, the lady sends her eight-or-so-year-old son in. He is trying to eat his sandwich, and he asks the person at the front counter for his mom’s sweet tea. They tell him his mom didn’t pay for a sweet tea. He walks out.

I sit there and watch as she speeds across the parking lot, barely missing a parking lot light, and pulls back into the drive-thru. She doesn’t even wait for someone to answer; she just starts screaming.

Customer: “I don’t understand this. You asked me to pull around to wait for my food, and you can’t even give me a f****** free drink! I should be compensated for pulling around! I want to speak to your manager now!

I take a deep breath and hit the button on my headset.

Me: “Ma’am, you specifically requested an item cooked to order. The amount of time you waited would have been the same whether we pulled you around or not. Your request for a free drink just because of being pulled around is denied. We pulled you because the people behind you were not waiting on fries but had ordered ice cream. Is there anything else I can help you with today?”

She screamed and drove off.

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Wish You Could Scrub Away This Customer

, , , , | Right | February 17, 2021

I work at an upscale deli and restaurant. I am bubbly and cheery to every customer. I like most of my regulars but there is this one that is always a jerk.

He comes in pretty often around lunch. He’s probably in his late twenties or early thirties. He always wears scrubs. He’s aggressive and demands free food because “we messed up his order last time,” even though I know we didn’t. He tries to pull this with every employee.

He answered his phone once when I was in the middle of taking his order and, presumably, he was talking to someone else in the medical field, because he angrily sighed and said:

Customer: “Just give her fat a** [specific quantity of medicine]—”

He continued to chat on the phone while also trying to whisper his order with me. He got frustrated juggling the conversations when I had to ask standard questions like, “Here or to go?” and, “What kind of bread?”

He once wanted to try our avocado and jicama salad, except he couldn’t pronounce “jicama.”

Customer: “I’ll have that avocado and whatever salad.”

I tried to be helpful and educational as quite a few customers can’t pronounce it.

Me: “The jicama?”

Customer: “Yeah, the avocado and s*** salad.” 

The icing on the cake is when I am on the counter by myself. It’s a slow day and one of my managers is in the back. She’s new also and was hired at the same time as I was.

I haven’t seen this customer for a month, thank goodness, but in he comes, swaggering up to the counter. I greet him as I greet all my customers and get his order ready. As I’m packing up his salad, he asks:

Customer: “I haven’t been in in a while. Did you miss me?”

I don’t like the look he’s giving me, basically leering, and I feel uncomfortable. I don’t want to answer “yes” and give him ideas. I answer with a safe:

Me: “I miss all my customers!”

Customer: “You’re full of s***. You know that, right? So full of s***.”

I stop what I am doing and glare at him. I am so stunned that I don’t know what to say, except:

Me: “I don’t think so.”

Customer: “Oh. I was just kidding.”

He spoke in a flat tone, obviously not meaning it. I rang him up with a chilly disposition and complained to my boss later.

Unfortunately, she hadn’t heard him say that and we couldn’t ban him. He still came in from time to time, but I wasn’t as cheery talking to him. I low-key wanted him to complain to my managers so they could tell him, “What do you expect from telling people they are full of s***?” He never did and I left the job a while later. I saw him once at the grocery store I started working at, but he didn’t have scrubs and was wearing faded and worn-looking clothing. Maybe he got fired for having no bed-side manner?

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Why Did He Think This Would Work?

, , , | Right | February 16, 2021

Cashier: “Hello, welcome to [Restaurant]. What can I get for you?”

Customer: “I want fries.”

Cashier: “Okay. What size?”

Customer: “Fries.”

Cashier: “We have small, medium, and large fries.”

Customer: “Yeah, that one.”

Cashier: *Short pause* “The large?”

Customer: “Yeah.”

Cashier: “Okay, anything else?”

Customer: “No.”

Cashier: “Okay, that will be [Price].”

Customer: “No.”

Cashier: *Another pause* “Our large fries cost [price], with tax. If you want, our medium fries are [lower price], instead.”

Customer: “No.”

Cashier: “Well, I’m sorry, but that is what it costs.”

The customer speaks in a tone like he is talking to a small child.

Customer: “I want fries, buuut I don’t want to pay for them.”

Cashier: “But you do have to pay for them if you want to get them here.”

Customer: *In a smug tone* “No.”

Cashier: “All right, then.”

The cashier presses something on the register.

Cashier: “Please step aside so I can take the orders of people who are actually willing to pay.”

The man stepped aside, I guess thinking that the cashier had put through his order. However, after a few more orders, including mine, had been processed and delivered, it apparently became obvious to him that he wasn’t getting the fries he’d demanded, and he ended up stomping out.

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