Get Your Head(set) In The Game

, , , , , | Working | March 2, 2018

(I go out with my fiancé and two of our close friends to a nice Thai food place in a shopping center. There’s an outdoor sitting area overlooking the parking lot and a pair of standalone fast food places nearby. A coffee shop is directly across the way from us, and we are able to hear the workers on the drive-thru speaker very clearly. All is going normally, the four of us chatting while we wait for our food, when we hear something odd.)

Drive-Thru Worker: “I swear to God, [Coworker]! If you get sick tomorrow, I’m punching you in the f****** throat!”

(We immediately burst out laughing once the shock wears off. Apparently, the coffee shop worker has forgotten to turn off her headset after the previous customer, and now we can clearly hear her joking and cursing out one of her coworkers over the possibility of her being sick. This continues for quite a bit, the four of us dying of laughter the entire time. Eventually my fiancé gets up, crossing the lot to the speaker.)

Fiancé: “You know that we can hear you, right?”

(There’s a few moments of silence.)

Drive-Thru Worker: “Oh, my God!”

(The headset was turned off, sending us all into another fit of laughter. There was nothing else during the rest of our meal, but we couldn’t stop giggling about it for the rest of the night. It was a really good thing no one drove up!)

The Cookie Monster Isn’t The Biggest Monster Here

, , , , | Right | March 1, 2018

(I work in a restaurant that usually does parties for kids whose parents book in advance. We hire popular mascots, such as Mickey Mouse and The Cookie Monster. On this particular day, Cookie is doing the rounds, and we have this mother walk up to Cookie and me.)

Mother: “Excuse me, but my daughter would like the blue monster to deliver her meals.”

Me: “My apologies, but The Cookie Monster only delivers food to birthday children whose parents have booked in advance.”

Mother: “But we booked this table in advance! We paid more than them, so my daughter should get the monster, too.”

(It’s clear the kid is getting agitated at this point.)

Kid: “Mommy, I want the monster!”

Mother: “Don’t worry; you’ll get the monster.”

Me: “You won’t, unless you’re willing to pay the £35 extra birthday party fee and come back on another day when the monster isn’t fully booked.”

Mother: “I’m not coming back! I want the manager!”

Kid: *extremely stressed* “Mommy! Make him bring my food!”

(At this point the child kicked and slapped the monster, and the manager was called. The woman and child were escorted from the premises and banned from the restaurant.)

The Wild, Wild Wet

, , , , , , | Working | February 28, 2018

My dad traveled to Japan a while ago from the USA. When he was at a restaurant, he wanted to order fish.

He asked if some fish they had were wild fish or farm fish. In the US, some fish are caught in the wild, and some are from fish hatcheries where they were fed and raised for consumption.

His waitress didn’t know what my dad meant, and after a while she brought her manager.

My dad asked again whether the fish were wild-caught or farmed. The conversation went on for a few minutes.

After a while, the manager smiled and talked to the waitress in Japanese. Although my dad can’t speak Japanese, the conversation’s meaning was clear due to hand gestures.

The manager told the waitress that the stupid American was asking whether the fish were grown in dirt on farms (pretending to swing a garden rake and other farming motions), or if the fish were hunted in the wild by cowboys (as he pretended to throw a lasso)!

The waitress and manager both had a good laugh about that. My dad just ordered the fish.

Someone’s Gonna Pay On Valentine’s Day

, , , , | Working | February 26, 2018

My boyfriend calls a restaurant to make a dinner reservation for us for Valentine’s Day. When we get there, the restaurant is packed, and there are a bunch of people waiting right inside the door.

My husband goes up to the host and says we have a reservation. He confirms our name and tells us that they don’t typically take reservations for Valentine’s Day, but the guy who took it was new and didn’t know that. He says that since they took the reservation, they will honor it, so they show us to a table right away. We get some dirty looks.

I know it wasn’t our fault, but with all those people waiting, we felt kind of bad.

A Difficult Combo

, , , , | Right | February 26, 2018

(I am answering a take-out call.)

Me: “Hello, this is [Chinese Restaurant].”

Customer: “Yeah, can I order some food?”

Me: “Yes, go ahead.”

Customer: “Do you have sweet and sour chicken?”

Me: “Yeah, we’ve got the entree and combo meal.”

Customer: “What’s the difference?”

Me: “The combo meal is for one person and comes with rice. The entree is double the size, but doesn’t come with rice.”

Customer: “If I order the entree, what does it come with?”

Me: “Just the chicken; if you want rice, you have to order separate.”

Customer: “Oh, God, why do you have to make it difficult? Just give me some fried rice with it, then. Do you have General Gau’s chicken?”

Me: “Yeah. Same situation, though; it’s combo or entree.”

Customer: “What’s the difference with this one?”

Me: “The same thing. Combo meal is one person, entree is bigger.”

Customer: *sighs* “Get me the entree. Does that come with rice?”

Me: “Nope, you’ll have to order rice separate. Did you want—”

Customer: *upset* “You know what? You’re making this way too difficult.” *hangs up*

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