I work for a medical supplier that sells disability equipment. We sell to the public as well as National Health Service hospitals, schools, and councils. Most of our products can be returned; however, a very small minority is made to order. These particular items are very specialist and require measurements to be taken of the patient who will be using the equipment for correct sizing. Because of this, these items are strictly non-returnable as we sell so few that it might be years, if ever, before we get an order for a certain specification.

The fact that these items are non-returnable is in big lettering on the pages for these items both in our printed catalogue and on our website.

We receive a purchase order for one of these items from a hospital. I check with the manufacturer to see their current turnaround time and then give the staff member who has placed the order a call.

Me: “Hi. I’m calling from [Medical Supplier] about your order [purchase order number]. Just wanted to check that you are aware that these items are non-returnable.”

Hospital Staff Member: “So?”

Me: “Well, we just wanted to ensure that the healthcare professional who has ordered this is aware of this and that they have checked that the patient’s measurements are definitely correct as we will only accept a return if the product is faulty.”

Hospital Staff Member: *In a nasty tone* “Are you trying to tell me how to do my job?!”

Me: “Not at all; my apologies if that is how it has come across. It’s just that the item is £5,000, so we like to double-check that all the details are correct before we order it to be produced.”

Hospital Staff Member: “Well, I know how to do my job, so order it as I have requested.”

Me: “Certainly. I will get that ordered today. The manufacturer will have that ready for delivery to you in ten days.”

Twelve days later, a colleague transfers a call to me to do a high-value return which, as the deputy manager, I can authorise.

Caller: “Hi. We’ve had a delivery, but it’s too small for the patient so we need to return it. It’s [purchase order number].”

Me: “Sure, let me bring up the details. Okay, is that [item]?”

Caller: “Yes, that’s the one. It’s not suitable.”

Me: “Okay, well, this item is non-returnable, as stated in our catalogue and on our website, so unfortunately, we are unable to accept a return or provide a refund.”

Caller: “THIS IS NOT ACCEPTABLE! This is £5,000, and the hospital cannot afford to waste this amount of money. I demand you accept a return. We were not informed that we could not return it, so the doctor ordering it guessed the patient’s measurements.”

Me: “I’ve just checked the notes, and it was me personally who called to advise of this and to ask if the measurements had been checked. I spoke to [Hospital Staff Member], who told me that they knew how to do their job and that I should proceed with the order. Shall I speak to [Hospital Staff Member]?”

Caller: “Oh… Okay. No, that won’t be necessary.”

Me: “You sure? I can pull the call recording and send that over to you as proof.”

Caller: “No… It’s okay. I am [Hospital Staff Member].”

A few days later, we get an emailed complaint from a manager at [Hospital] about us not accepting a return. I reply with a copy of our standard business terms, screenshots of our website and catalogue showing where it states that the item is non-returnable, and a copy of the call recording where I tried to confirm the measurements. I don’t hear anything for a week, so I give the manager a call so I can close out the complaint.

Me: “I’m calling from [Medical Supplier] about your complaint about us not accepting a return of [item]. I haven’t heard back from you and just wanted to know if I could close out the complaint?”

Manager: *Sounding defeated* “Yes, that’s fine. You can close it. [Hospital Staff Member] advised the doctor who ordered it to guess the measurements and that would be fine.”

That’s just one of the many examples I came across of money being wasted in the NHS!

As a manager, I handle returns and complaints.

Customer: “I want to return this food.”

Me: “What’s wrong with it?”

Customer: “Oh, nothing really. I was buying for a party and wasn’t sure how many were coming. It wasn’t all eaten.”

Me: “Yes, but some of it was. I can’t return this.”

Customer: “Yes, you can!”

Me: “Ma’am, you have half-eaten bags of potato chips, packs of hot dogs with one missing, and twelve-packs of soda with some cans gone. These are opened items and I cannot return them unless there was a defect.”

Customer: “But they weren’t all eaten!”

Me: “Then it’s a good thing you can take this all home and eat it.”

She huffed and stormed out. I wonder why her party was undersubscribed…

I work as a supervisor, and I get called over to the refund desk to help a customer who wants to return a bracelet. She says that she’s been trying to return the bracelet for almost six months, but no one would do it. I find that odd because we have a 100% return policy on pretty much everything we sell. She is accompanied by her disabled son who is about forty years old and in a wheelchair.

Me: “I’m sorry about that. I’ll take care of you. Just give me a minute to look up your receipt in our system.”

Customer: “Oh, thank you so much.”

While I’m looking up her receipt, she starts to tell me the back story about why she’s returning it.

Customer: “You see, it fits too tight on my wrist. I put it on, and it cuts into my wrist. It was so tight that I couldn’t get it off. Plus, one of the beads is sharp… Here, feel it.”

I feel the bead and it is indeed a bit sharp on the crease where the two halves come together. I apologize and tell her I will take care of her as soon as I find the receipt. This is when the story gets weird.

Customer: “Thank you. You see, my son is disabled and only has 30% of his brain left. He was in a motorcycle accident a few years ago. I’ve been taking care of him since then. I was changing him, and the bead cut his scrotum, so I want you to compensate me for his pain and suffering.”

I realized at that point why the people before had not refunded her bracelet.

I was completely disgusted that she’d had me touch the bead that supposedly cut her son’s ball sack. I told her that without some medical records or some sort of proof, I couldn’t just give her money. She proceeded to pitch a fit about how I was discriminating against her because her son was disabled. After I finished rubbing my hands vigorously with hand sanitizer, I called my manager over to take care of her from there.

Related:
On The Need For Hazard Pay, Part 31
On The Need For Hazard Pay, Part 30
On The Need For Hazard Pay, Part 29
On The Need For Hazard Pay, Part 28
On The Need For Hazard Pay, Part 27

I work in customer service for a large superstore.

Customer: “How do I return my stroller now that my kids no longer need it?”

Me: “Do you have the receipt, and how long ago did you purchase it?”

Customer: “Hmm, let’s see. My kids are four and eight, so I guess I’ve had the stroller for almost nine years?”

We did not accept the return.

A lady and husband come up to the customer service desk.

Customer: “I want money back on an item that you’re now selling for less than I bought it for three days ago!”

Manager: “No problem. Show us the item and we’ll look into that for you.”

Customer: “I don’t have it; it’s at home.”

Manager: “Okay, just the receipt, then.”

Customer: “I don’t have that.”

Manager: “I can’t do the exchange without either of those.”

Customer: “Why not?!”

Manager: “Because that’s just us giving out free money.”

They got angry, but they left.

Related:
Refunder Blunder, Part 60
Refunder Blunder, Part 59
Refunder Blunder, Part 58
Refunder Blunder, Part 57
Refunder Blunder, Part 56