My wife has two cats, and they are very well taken care of. We often joke that they eat better than us some days and more often, it’s not really a joke.

My wife sometimes makes bone broth from whatever chicken bones are left after meals and adds it to the cats’ food. For those who have never made or seen bone broth, it is a light yellow, slightly cloudy liquid. We also have a number of fruit trees on our property, including a Meyer lemon tree; we often juice the lemons and store it. That’s also a light yellow, slightly cloudy liquid.

One day, after making the cat’s food — before the second cat was adopted — my wife notices he isn’t eating his dinner. 

Wife: “He’s probably just being a cat. He’ll get hungry and eat it eventually.”

It wasn’t until late that night, food still untouched, that my wife realized she had not poured bone broth over the food, but lemon juice. To this day, she still gives me a look of death when I call the cat a sour puss.

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I’ve taken my four-month-old puppy to the pet store to grab a few bits. Whilst I’m in the puppy toy section, my puppy finds something interesting to sniff at. I soon realise it appears to be a patch of dried pee. When I go up the front to pay, I decide to inform the cashier.

Me: “Hi, just these, please. Oh, and just to let you know, it looks like a dog peed in between the puppy toys and dog beds.”

The cashier shoots me an odd look.

Cashier: “Thanks. These things do happen.”

I paid for my stuff and left. Halfway home, I realised that the cashier assumed my puppy had been the one to pee and I just didn’t want to clean it up!

The next time I went in there, she was a little curt with me, but since I’m now a regular, she has started to be quite chatty. Thankfully, my dog has never had an accident in the store, but if he did, I would always clean it up!

I live near a park that is off-leash for dogs. However, several signs state that the dog must be well-behaved and owners are responsible for their dogs’ behavior.

I’m walking along this one path when I come across a woman with her dog (leashed) and another dog jumping around them. Getting closer, I realize she is trying to get her agitated dog away from the unleashed dog, and that said unleashed dog’s owner is standing about twenty feet away, laughing and egging the dog on.

Unleashed Dog Owner: “It’s okay! He just likes to be near the action! He’s a good boy!”

The other dog owner is asking him to please curb his dog, but of course, he isn’t listening.

Me: “Hey! You need to call off your dog! That’s not safe and he’s upsetting her dog!”

The man, who is significantly older than me — I’m thirty and a woman — stops laughing and glares at me, but he calls his dog back. The woman quickly leaves with her dog, obviously so it doesn’t get upset and act out, which is what the responsible owner should do. I continue on my walk, thinking nothing of it.

Another day, I’m walking the same path, and up ahead I see two women with a dog bouncing around them. Farther away, about thirty feet, is the same guy, and again he’s laughing and egging the dog on. It’s a small dog, so the two women aren’t in extreme danger, but they’re clearly uncomfortable and he’s not listening.

Me: “Oy! What’d I say last time?! If the dog ain’t behaving, you need to leash him!”

The guy sees me and makes a face, but he calls the dog off and walks away.

A third time, I’m out walking when I cross their paths again. There’s no one else, and the man is letting the dog wander away from him a bit, but as soon as he sees me, he calls him close and gives me a wide berth.

I’ve seen him several times since and he now keeps the dog close to him and doesn’t allow it to jump around, although every time he sees me, he glares daggers at me, though he doesn’t say anything.

I’d like to point out here that if the other patrons had complained, the dog would be the one who suffered, especially if injuries had occurred. In situations like this, the dog is the one who would be removed and possibly euthanized if deemed a danger. So please, if you own a dog, make sure your pet is well-behaved either on- or off-leash.

I am a minister in a church. It is the weekend of Easter 2020. We have had country-wide lockdowns for the past month or so. It is also clear that we won’t be celebrating Holy Week services in the church. Our national office has decided that we are allowed to give communion online, as long as, one, someone who is allowed to consecrate the elements does so, and two, it is live, i.e. not a pre-recorded service.

We decide to give it a go that week and see what happens. I make a small spread of bread and crackers and pour wine in a tiny brandy snifter, and we are ready to go.

All is well until I am about to start the consecration when a chat bubble comes up on Zoom. 

Congregation Member: “Rev., I think the cat wants communion, too.”

Turns out, my cat had been nibbling on the communion bagel for ten minutes and everyone was wondering when I would notice. From now on, I give her some treats during communion to keep her and my congregation content.

My cat is seventeen years old and is nearing the end of her life. She’s very skinny and I have to force a steroid pill down her mouth so she can eat without getting sick.

My friend is visiting today. When she sits down on my couch, my cat immediately gets up from the other side of the couch and walks over to curl up on her lap. My friend is delighted by this and exclaims to me as she pets my cat.

Friend: “Look! She likes me! She came right over and sat on my lap.”

Me: “She’s cold.”

Friend: “What?”

Me: “Because she’s old, she’s lost a lot of her muscle and body fat, so she likes having a warm body around to help regulate her body temperature.”

My friend looks disappointed as she continues petting the cat.

Friend: “Thanks a lot.”