Karen Has Friends To Stop Her Karen-ing

, , , , , | Right | September 13, 2019

(I am a food runner, which means that I don’t take orders, I just bring food to the table. Because of this, I don’t know who ordered what, so I just name the dish and ask who it is for. Today, I am bringing two women their lunches; one ordered a standard burger and added cheddar cheese, and the other ordered our garlic tri-tip plate with a side of vegetables. Obviously, they’re two very different looking entrees, one being a burger and one being a steak. I approach the table and hold the garlic tri-tip plate out in front of me with the burger behind and underneath.)

Me: “Good afternoon, ladies! Who has the garlic tri-tip plate with a side of veggies?”

Woman #1: *looks at the burger I am holding behind the tri-tip plate and SCREECHES at the top of her lungs* “OH, MY GOD, I thought this was an entree! And I can’t do cheese!*continues screeching and whining indiscriminately, red-faced*

Woman #2: “[Friend], I ordered the cheeseburger. Your food is in her other hand.”

Woman #1: *beet-faced and stammering* “I… well… I didn’t know.”

(I set their food down without another word and walked away. Clearly, she came in that day looking to be angry about something, and the fact that her friend embarrassed her was retribution enough for me.)

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Monitor This Situation More Closely

, , , , , | Working | August 30, 2019

(For years, we’ve had a certain brand of desktop computers and recently, my company decided to switch the whole office to laptops that we can connect to a docking port at each of our desks that connects to two monitors. The IT people work all day in the office, setting up each person’s ports and monitors. I notice that my monitors are reversed; in order to move from one monitor to the other, I have to move my mouse in the opposite direction — move left from the left monitor to work on the right-side monitor, instead of just moving simply left-to-right. I notify one of the IT guys and the following exchange ensues:)

IT Guy: “Huh. Weird. I don’t know why that’s happening. I’ll have to switch the monitors around.”

(He takes out his cutters and begins snipping the zip-ties off the bundle of cords running behind the desk.)

Me: “What are you doing that for?”

IT Guy: “I have to switch the cables first, and then move the monitors.”

Me: “Why don’t you just pick up the monitors and physically switch them? Put the left one on the right and vice versa?”

IT Guy: “Oh. I like your idea a lot better.”

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Unfiltered Story #160148

, , , | Unfiltered | August 17, 2019

My coworker and I are stocking in the cat supply section, when a customer comes up with a question.
Me, “May I help you find anything?”
Customer,” Yes, can you show me the stop-leak, you know, septic powder?”
Me, “…? Oh, you mean for clipping toenails, in case you cut the quick!”
Customer, “Yeah.”
After I show him the product, I return to the cat section and look at my coworker.
Coworker, “So is he a plumber or what?”

Unfiltered Story #156847

, , , | Unfiltered | July 4, 2019

(Customer is in Phoenix)

ME: Our tow driver is scheduled to go out to your vehicle before noon today.

Customer: Will the tow driver be coming from Sacramento?

Me: He will be coming from our local office in Phoenix.

Customer: Oh, the last agent who I spoke with said you were out of Northern California.

Me:I’m taking the call from there but our tower wouldn’t go out that far.

Customer: That’s odd you’d probably make more money if you guys took it there and fixed it.

Me: I assure you our local office will be able to handle it.

Customer: Oh ok have a great day!

(Car was from the early 80’s, it’s hard enough to make it back on a vehicle like that as it is.)

Unfiltered Story #155564

, , , | Unfiltered | June 28, 2019

(I’m hearing impaired, and because of this I have both hearing aids and a service dog, who I bring with me everywhere in case my hearing aids fail. He’s very friendly, though. One day as I’m buying treats for my dog at a grocery store, a woman comes over.)
Women: Hello. I thought you weren’t allowed to have dogs in here.
Me: Oh, no. He’s a service dog.
Women: (Immediately outraged) YOU STOLE A BLIND PERSONS SERVICE DOG! HOW DARE YOU!
Me: Oh no ma’am, I have a hearing impediment; I bring him with me in case my hearing aids fail-
Women: BULL****! YOU CAN HEAR FINE, AND ONLY BLIND PEOPLE NEED DOGS! GIVE ME HIM YOU THIEF!
(At this point the woman tries to yank my dogs leash from my hand, but the end of the leash loops around my shoulder, so it doesn’t really work to well.)
Women: GIVE ME THE DOG YOU B****
(At this point she’s drawn the attention of several employees, who are looking on in horror. Most employees are told not to touch other shoppers without consent, in case of lawsuits, so they just urge the women to let go of my dog, which she ignores. She then grabs my dog by the tail, and he starts crying out in pain, and I do the first thing I can think of to protect my poor dog. I punch her twice: once in the stomach and again in the face. She lets go right when the police arrive; she insists I be arrested, but she herself is arrested for assault. I decide to press charges, and I win the case, mainly because I have witnesses and store footage to back me up. She went to jail, and had to pay me a large sum of money. Needless to say, my dog ate well after that!

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