Handy With Handedness

, , , , , | Friendly | March 30, 2020

(I am eating lunch at my college when a couple of young men sit down at the table nearest me with some snacks of their own. They are close enough that I can hear them talking, and although I don’t speak it, I recognize the language they are speaking is Vietnamese.

It’s also necessary to note that I have Asperger’s Syndrome and one of my peculiarities is noticing and remembering someone’s handedness. It is kind of like noticing someone’s hair color; if you use your hands in a way that demonstrates your laterality, I can’t NOT note your dominant hand, I just do.

So, I can’t help but notice that one of the men nearby is left-handed by the way he eats. They finish quickly and get up to leave, but I notice that the left-handed man has taken his backpack, but neglected to pick up a smaller bag by his chair.)

Me: “Excuse me… Excuse me, sir? Sir?

(The two are too engaged in their conversation to realize I’m talking to them and are quickly walking to the door to the building. Out of desperation to get his attention, I blurt out the first thing I can think of.)

Me: “Uh… Left-handed Vietnamese guy!”

(The two men stop and slowly turn to look at me with bewildered expressions.)

Me: *awkwardly* “Um… y-you left your bag behind.” *points to the sack by the chair*

(The young man looked surprised when he saw it there, jogged over to pick it up, and thanked me, and they left.)

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Refunder Blunder, Part 44

, , , , , , | Right | March 22, 2020

(I’m the supervisor in a retail copy center. I am notified that someone has filed a complaint.)

Me: “Hello, ma’am. I’m sorry to hear you were dissatisfied with our services. Can I ask what happened?”

Customer: “Well, I asked for your clerk to cut my wedding invitations, and she cut them all wrong! We had to fix everything ourselves!”

Me: “My apologies! When was this order placed?”

Customer: “Oh, a couple of weeks ago.”

Me: “We would have been happy to fix the cuts for you free of charge, ma’am. Did you inspect the invitations before you paid for them?”

Customer: “No.”

Me: “Did you contact the store once you got home and realized you didn’t like the way they were cut?”

Customer: “No.”

Me: “Unfortunately, I don’t have any record of this order. Do you know which associate it was that completed your order for you?”

Customer: “No.”

Me: “Do you still have the invitations?”

Customer: “No, we sent them out already! After we had to spend hours fixing them! I want to know how you’re going to make this right!”

Me: “Well, I can offer a refund. Do you have your receipt so I can refund your purchase total?”

Customer: “No.”

Me: “Well, ma’am, I’m afraid there’s not much I can do without any of those things.”

Customer: “This is ridiculous! I want to talk to your manager!”

(I was only too happy to oblige!)

Refunder Blunder, Part 43
Refunder Blunder, Part 42
Refunder Blunder, Part 41

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Unfiltered Story #190320

, , , | Unfiltered | March 21, 2020

Me: Hello and thank you for calling **** my name is connor how can I help you.

Customer: Yeah my car was supposed to be picked up today and now I’m out $300.

Me: I do apologize about that sir, what is you first and last name so I can look up your file?

Customer: It’s under [Name]

Me: The search yielded no results, did you happen to have the number you submitted for contact? It appears it didn’t come up under the number your calling from.

Customer:*Yelling* What do you mean you can’t find it? What kind of operation are you running here?

Me: Unfortunately sir I cannot confirm what the issue was unless we’re able to bring up your information. Could it have been under another name?

Customer: No it most certainly is not you guys promised a Saturday pick up.

Me: Wait your vehicle was scheduled for today? We don’t do pick ups on the weekend in that area could you have spoken with another company?

Customer: *Resumes Yelling*NO I SPOKE WITH [Co-Worker’s First Name] AND I’M GOING TO CALL IN ON MONDAY AND ASK FOR [Co-Worker’s First Name]. I’M ALSO GOING TO LOOK HIM UP ON FACE BOOK! YOU TELL [Co-Worker’s First Name] I’M COMING FOR HIM. *click*

Me: *Turning to my co-worker* How does he think he’s going to find someone on facebook only knowing their first name. My name isn’t common and there’s still thousands of me on facebook.

Coworker: *Facepalms*

They Score Zero Out Of Tenrec

, , , , , , | Right | March 18, 2020

(I am working at a zoo and am holding a tenrec — a small mammal that looks like a hedgehog with spines on its back — for guests to touch and ask questions about. A mother and her son walk up.)

Mother: *jokingly* “It’s half porcupine and half rat!”

Son: “Is it half porcupine?”

Me: “No, it’s all tenrec.”

Son: “Well, what’s a tenrec?”

Me: “This is. It’s related to hedgehogs, and this one lives in Madagascar.”

Son: “Is it half rat?”

Me: “No, it’s just a tenrec, not related to a porcupine or a rat.”

Son: “Well, what’s a tenrec?”

Me: *looks at his mother desperately*

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Stupidity Turned Up To Eleven

, , , , | Right | February 1, 2020

(I have just arrived at the store and started the opening procedures. A guest walks up and starts trying to open the doors, which are locked. He looks inside and sees me.)

Customer: “Hey! Are you open?”

Me: “No. Not until 11.”

Customer: “Not until 11? Okay. So, should I come back?”

Me: “Yes?”

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