Flea, You Fools!

| PA, USA | Right | March 25, 2016

Customer: “I need flea medicine.”

Me: “Okay, sir, one second.”

(I grab the key for the flea control case and walk over. I unlock the case.)

Me: “Okay, what do you need?”

Customer: “Flea medicine.”

(I stare blankly at the customer for a moment before gesturing to the case which contains multiple different brands of flea control, all for different sized dogs and cats.)

Me: “Sir, there’s six different brands in here.”

Customer: “Uh….”

Customer’s Wife: “D*****, you can’t do anything yourself!” *to me* “I need a four-pack of [Brand] for an 80-pound dog.”

Me: “Thank you, ma’am!”

Wish You Could Vet The Customers, Part 2

, | Argentina | Right | March 18, 2016

(I am at a pet shop that has as a veterinary clinic in the back, looking for a kennel for my dog. A lady is at the counter complaining to the only employee there, so he can’t come help me, but I’m no hurry, so I wait.)

Lady: “But my dog won’t eat this food. Don’t you have [Brand #1]?”

Employee: “Sorry, ma’am, we only have this [Brand #2].”

Lady: “But he won’t eat it! Is there any way to make him eat it?”

Employee: “He might need time to get used to it.”

Lady: “But even if I give it to him, he won’t eat it!”

(This goes on for about five minutes, with the employee telling her there’s nothing to be done if the dog doesn’t want that food and the lady complaining because they don’t have the brand she always takes and asking if there’s a way to get her dog to eat the food. Finally, the lady changes tactic.)

Lady: “I want to speak with [Vet]. Maybe she’ll know a way to make him eat it.”

Employee: “Sorry, she isn’t here now, but the other doctor is in.”

(The other doctor is a tall, sixty-year-old man with a grey beard who clearly doesn’t appreciate being called from the back to attend to this issue, but he speaks to the lady nonetheless.)

Vet: “What seems to be the problem?”

Lady: “Well, you don’t have [Brand #1], but my dog doesn’t like [Brand #2] and he won’t eat it…”

(Meanwhile, the employee comes to show me the kennels and I pick one. All the time the lady keeps arguing with the vet about ways to make her dog eat the food.)

Vet: *visibly tired of her insistence* “Look, the only way to make him eat it is if you starve him until he has no more choice than to eat it.”

Lady: *she doesn’t seem very happy with this reply, but she takes the dog food to the counter to pay for it* “Are you sure you are a vet? I have never seen you here before.”

Vet: “Yes, ma’am, I have been for forty years. I just stay in the back most of the time.”

Lady: “Why?”

Vet: “Because I’m too old for this s***.”

Wish You Could Vet The Customers

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Doing Service Dogs A Disservice

| Redlands, CA, USA | Friendly | March 15, 2016

(I have a service dog that is a bit unusual because it is a husky. The norm tends to be labs in my area. I am at a pet store getting food for my cat when a woman walks up, sits down beside my dog, and begins playing with her.)

Me: “Ma’am, please don’t touch my dog.”

Woman: “It’s so cute!”

Me: “This is my service dog; stop touching her.”

(The woman gets upset, and stands up.)

Woman: “You are lying; this is a pet, and people are allowed to touch animals because you can’t own a living creature!”

Me: “I am not. I have the paperwork, the vest, and the years of schooling to prove she is a service dog. You need to leave me alone or I will get security.”

Woman: “You’re a f****** liar.”

(She storms off. I think she is going to get security. Nothing happens, so I get the food, go to the register, and am in line behind the woman.)

Woman: “I looked it up. Huskies can’t be service dogs.”

Me: “Yes, they can. They just don’t always make the best service dogs. Mine is awesome.”

Woman: “I am going to ask.”

(The woman flags down an employee and demands to know if a husky can be a service dog.)

Employee: “Um, yes. They can. I am not sure why this is important?”

(The woman shut up after that. She also lost her spot in line.)

Pray It’s Just A Funny Bone

| Los Angeles, CA, USA | Friendly | February 12, 2016

(My family had just gotten a new dog. As I was visiting in the next couple of days, I wanted to get some toys and treats to spoil her rotten. My roommate decides to help so we head out to the nearest pet shop. As we’re browsing the aisles…)

Roommate: “Hey, d’you wanna bone?”

(I turn around to see him holding a large meat bone from the shelf.)

Me: “Oh, definitely!”

(I put it in my basket and we keep browsing for a little longer until it hits me.)

Me: “Wait… that sounded wrong.”

Roommate: “What did?”

Me: “Er… nothing.”

(Cut to a couple of days later when I’m packing to go over my family’s house. He casually passes by the hall with a load of laundry before stopping and backing up to stick his head through my door.)

Roommate: “Oh, dear god, I JUST got it!”

Those Are Some Pretty Smart Guinea Pigs

| SK, Canada | Working | February 2, 2016

(I’m nine years old. I’m about to get my first pets — guinea pigs. My mom made me research them before we got them, and my research said it was best to get two guinea pigs who were sisters. I call my chosen pet store to see if they have guinea pigs.)

Me: “Hi, do you have guinea pigs?”

Clerk: “We sure do! We’ve got quite a variety right now!”

Me: “That’s great! Do you have any sisters?”

Clerk: *without a pause* “I do have sisters. One’s a nurse and one’s a teacher.”

Me: “I meant… do you have guinea pigs who are sisters?”

Clerk: “…Oh. Yes, we do.”

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