Unfiltered Story #204331

, , , | Unfiltered | August 7, 2020

*Note I was in sales not customer service but had access to view accounts to try and upsell services.*

Me: Thank you for calling this is (name) how can I help you?

*the man then started on a huge rant about us robbing him by raising his rate then threatened to come in and shoot us.*

Me: SIR! I’m going to stop you there! You are talking to the wrong department, you just threatened to kill us, we are in a secure building, and I have your name address and phone number on my screen! Do I need to call the cops?

*click*

Boss who had been doing scheduled monitoring at the time: Jesus! No one f***s with you!

Me: Nope!

*Goes back to under my desk with a bean bag chair and reading a book till the next call*

Unfiltered Story #201667

, , , | Unfiltered | July 30, 2020

(Long ago I managed a high end store. We got a lot of foreign customers over the holidays looking to send stuff to their families. I for some reason I have an easy time understanding other languages so I always stepped in if an employee looked super confused.
In this event an employee flagged me down because a Japanese family was having problems telling her what they wanted. I traded places with her and helped the family and walked them all through checkout. They only spoke Japanese and I only spoke English but we understood each other and they walked out with quite a bit of stuff and big smiles.)

Next customer to come up to the counter: Ugh! Don’t you hate it when those foreign kind don’t speak American!

Me: I don’t care where they came from as long as they are decent human beings. Also, American isn’t a language.

Customer: I think they shouldn’t let any foreign types in!

Me taking their box and putting it behind me: Your ancestors started as foreigners. You are also sorrounded by them *gesturing to the line built of Russians and Arabs*. Oh and that’s my boyfriend over there *pointing out the window to a kiosk* He’s here on a work visa.
I’m refusing the sale for your being rude. GET OUT!

Customer: You can’t do that! I’ll report you!

Me: I can, I will, and it’s done. *big smile* Bye!

(She stomped out. My employees looked at me like I was going to get my head chopped off. Other people in line complimented me. I got on the phone really quickly with all the other foreigners in the mall and spread the word. A half hour later I saw the woman stomp by without bags. Looking really mad. My friends refused to serve her and pretended they couldn’t speak English.
My boss only heard the story from me because I fessed up quick as I don’t believe in hiding. He laughed.)

Unfiltered Story #201551

, , , | Unfiltered | July 25, 2020

I am the customer in this scenario. My son and I were ordering lunch at a popular chicken place. Usually both the food and the service at this location are sub par, if not outright terrible. However, that was not the case this time. The young man serving as cashier was energetic, polite, and overall provided excellent service. We get done eating and return to the cashier at the front.
Me: “Excuse me? I just wanted to mention that I am someone who really appreciates good customer service, and that yours was exceptional. So thank you!”.
*His face lit up with a brilliant smile*: “Hey wow, thanks so much! I really appreciate that!”.
Me: “No problem, man, keep it up. Have a good day.”.
Felt good to make that guy’s day!

Fax Machine Or Time Machine?

, , , , , | Right | April 26, 2020

Me: “What time did you fax that and what time zone are you in?”

Caller: “I’m in Daylight Savings time.”

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I… Take… Your… Milkshake!

, , , , , | Right | April 7, 2020

(I’m checking out a customer. She’s nice. I get to her hard lemonade and ask for ID, and she instantly starts up with an elaborate story about her ID being stuck in a totaled car as she gives me a well-worn, stained by who knows what, bad photocopy of an out-of-state ID.)

Me: “This doesn’t count as a legal ID.”

Customer: *after going back into her story about a car crash* “Get me your manager!”

Me: “Okay.”

(I listen to her keep repeating the same story. My manager comes and says the same thing. His manager comes and says the same thing. THAT guy’s manager comes and says the same thing. All the while, this woman is ranting her head off, making the story more and more horrific, and starting to scream.)

Customer: “You don’t understand my situation!” *turns to one of the male managers* “And you’re a potato face! All you want to know is if I’m over 21! I’m 26! I’m a grown-a** woman!”

(At that, a man she was with who brought over a huge stuffed animal and has been half-a**ed trying to back her up says:

Man: “Yeah! And she–” *pointing at me* “–looks like she’s 19!”

Me: *all flirty smiles* “You think so? I love hearing that! I’ll take it!”

(The crazy customer loses her mind again while I pretend to flirt with the guy following her. After she stomps off…)

Guy: “How much is this?”

Me: “$50 before tax.”

Guy: “But it—”

Me: “Don’t even. I’m 34. You and I both know kids move those big stuffed animals around. And you and I both know your friend just screamed the F word in front of tons of families over overpriced, weak drinks.”

Guy: “I’ll take it back.”

Me: “It’s okay. I’m going on my lunch now. I’ll take him with me and put him in the right spot.”

(As I’m signing out for the next cashier to come in, the person behind them walks up.)

Next Customer: “You’re so calm I’m terrified.”

Me: “I do that to people.”

(And I flounced off with a stuffed dog that was half my size.)

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