Doing Service Dogs A Disservice

| Redlands, CA, USA | Friendly | March 15, 2016

(I have a service dog that is a bit unusual because it is a husky. The norm tends to be labs in my area. I am at a pet store getting food for my cat when a woman walks up, sits down beside my dog, and begins playing with her.)

Me: “Ma’am, please don’t touch my dog.”

Woman: “It’s so cute!”

Me: “This is my service dog; stop touching her.”

(The woman gets upset, and stands up.)

Woman: “You are lying; this is a pet, and people are allowed to touch animals because you can’t own a living creature!”

Me: “I am not. I have the paperwork, the vest, and the years of schooling to prove she is a service dog. You need to leave me alone or I will get security.”

Woman: “You’re a f****** liar.”

(She storms off. I think she is going to get security. Nothing happens, so I get the food, go to the register, and am in line behind the woman.)

Woman: “I looked it up. Huskies can’t be service dogs.”

Me: “Yes, they can. They just don’t always make the best service dogs. Mine is awesome.”

Woman: “I am going to ask.”

(The woman flags down an employee and demands to know if a husky can be a service dog.)

Employee: “Um, yes. They can. I am not sure why this is important?”

(The woman shut up after that. She also lost her spot in line.)

Yawn To Be Free

| Singapore | Friendly | February 27, 2016

(I own a Doberman, and he looks fairly terrifying. A lot of people shy away from him when I go to the vet or pet store. He is tame though, and the sweetest dog you’d ever meet. I’ve brought him in and hooked his leash around one of my belt loops. I am female.)

Customer: “Oh, my! What a scary dog! Are you sure it’s not dangerous?”

Me: “Oh, no! He is an absolute sweetie. Don’t worry about him.”

(My dog yawns.)

Customer: “Eeek! He just tried to bite me! Bad dog! BAD DOG!”

Me: “Erm… he’s just yawning.”

Customer: “Oh, I can’t take it… What must boys think of you?”

Me: “Excuse me?”

Customer: “I mean, with a terrifying mutt of a dog like that, what man would ever like you?”

Me: “I’m engaged, and I’d appreciate it if you would stop talking to me now.”

Customer: “But- but… ARGH! Fine! No one in here is gonna stop her?! I’ll take care of that d*** mutt myself!”

(She tries to unhook the leash, but it’s hard to detach, and I bat her hands away.)

Me: “What the heck? Get away from me!”

(My dog yawned again and she went white, then frantically ran out of the door.)

Pray It’s Just A Funny Bone

| Los Angeles, CA, USA | Friendly | February 12, 2016

(My family had just gotten a new dog. As I was visiting in the next couple of days, I wanted to get some toys and treats to spoil her rotten. My roommate decides to help so we head out to the nearest pet shop. As we’re browsing the aisles…)

Roommate: “Hey, d’you wanna bone?”

(I turn around to see him holding a large meat bone from the shelf.)

Me: “Oh, definitely!”

(I put it in my basket and we keep browsing for a little longer until it hits me.)

Me: “Wait… that sounded wrong.”

Roommate: “What did?”

Me: “Er… nothing.”

(Cut to a couple of days later when I’m packing to go over my family’s house. He casually passes by the hall with a load of laundry before stopping and backing up to stick his head through my door.)

Roommate: “Oh, dear god, I JUST got it!”

Those Are Some Pretty Smart Guinea Pigs

| SK, Canada | Working | February 2, 2016

(I’m nine years old. I’m about to get my first pets — guinea pigs. My mom made me research them before we got them, and my research said it was best to get two guinea pigs who were sisters. I call my chosen pet store to see if they have guinea pigs.)

Me: “Hi, do you have guinea pigs?”

Clerk: “We sure do! We’ve got quite a variety right now!”

Me: “That’s great! Do you have any sisters?”

Clerk: *without a pause* “I do have sisters. One’s a nurse and one’s a teacher.”

Me: “I meant… do you have guinea pigs who are sisters?”

Clerk: “…Oh. Yes, we do.”

Your Dog Does Not Compute

| USA | Right | January 27, 2016

(A woman comes in with a Chihuahua that has been banned from the store because it’s frankly an aggressive little bugger and bites everything it can, including, on the last visit, a small child of about three years old.)

Customer: “I’d like a standard bath and grooming.”

Me: “I cannot do that, as your dog is banned from our store.”

Customer: *sets him on the counter, snarling and yapping, and leans in close to ask* “Could you just take him out back and hose him off? Nobody will have to know if you don’t enter it into the computer.” *slips me $50*

(By now the dog is attached to my sleeve, growling and tugging. I agree to take him out back. I go out the back door, put the snarling little maniac back in his crate in her car along with my ripped uniform and her 50 bucks, which he proceeds to chew up also. I walk back up to the counter in just the t-shirt I am wearing under my destroyed uniform.)

Customer: “Where’s my dog?”

Me: “What dog? I don’t have any dogs entered into my computer.”

(She never brought the little psycho back.)

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