A woman enters our aquarium with her family.
Woman: “Excuse me, do you have any parrots here?”
Me: “Sure, right over here.”
I lead her to a large display of parrot fish.
Woman: *Condescendingly* “Parrots are birds, honey.”
Me: *Trying to sound neutral* “Oh, sorry, we only have fish at this aquarium.”
I ask my four-year-old grandson what happened to his eye.
Grandson: “We were playing store and [Almost Two-Year-Old brother] was a mean customer. He threw a bucket at me.”
I shop at a dollar store near my house frequently. I know pretty much all the employees, and they know me and my service dog. I’m in one day and the manager happens to be ringing me out.
The customer behind me sees my service dog and leans down to pet him.
Me: “Ma’am, please don’t touch him.”
Customer: “Oh, come on! He’s so cute!”
Me: “Yes, and he’s working. Please leave him alone.”
Customer: “You can’t control me! If I want to pet him, I’ll pet him! I don’t care if he’s working!”
The manager speaks up.
Manager: “I’m cute, too. Will you pet me?”
The customer looks at him: a six-foot, heavily-built man.
Customer: “Well… I… Hmph!”
Manager: “Yeah, that’s what I thought. If you ain’t gonna pet me, you ain’t gotta pet a working dog.”
And that’s part of why I always shop there!
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This story has been included in our June 2020 roundup as one of that month’s most memorable stories!
I work in a library in a small suburb of Cleveland that’s roughly 40% white, 40% black, and 20% Latino/Hispanic. While the branch library I work at is small and located in the poorest section of town, our patrons are very, very loyal.
This happens during one of the very rare days when the director of our whole library’s system happens to be visiting my branch, something she does maybe twice a year.
Director: “You’d better put those scissors away. They can be used as a weapon.”
I look around and realize she’s talking about the scissors in a pencil cup behind the desk, far out of the reach of any patron.
Me: “Okay.”
I humor her and stick the scissors in the desk drawer.
Director: “In fact, all of this needs to go away.”
She gestures to the pencils, tape dispenser, pencil sharpener, and other office supplies sitting on the desk.
Director: “If this was a prison library, none of this could be out.”
I start reaching for the nearest objects just to humor her and respond with a smile, very congenially.
Me: “It’s a good thing this isn’t a prison library!”
Director: “It might as well be!”
She replied in a deadly serious tone with some acid. I was so surprised that I fell silent and went about completing the task.
And this is the same director who is currently pushing for a one-million-dollar levy on those low-income, struggling-to-get-by families.
My girlfriend and I have been dating for a while, and since she has never been to an adult store, I decide to take her. When we are in the parking lot, I tell her to get her license ready and she says she doesn’t have it. I suggest that we go back for it since it isn’t too far, or that we could try to go in anyway and see if we get carded. I’m a few years older and haven’t been getting carded anywhere lately. We decide to see if we will get carded and walk in.
Employee: “Hi, welcome to [Adult Store]. I just need to see your driver’s licenses, please.”
I show her mine.
Girlfriend: “I forgot mine at home.”
Employee: “I’m sorry, but I need to see ID.”
I start to turn around, but my girlfriend starts to argue with the employee.
Girlfriend: “I’m twenty years old.”
Employee: “I’m sorry. I still can’t let you in without ID.”
Girlfriend: *Gestures at me* “But she’s twenty-seven. Can’t she be my legal guardian or something?”
Employee: “I need to see both of your ID’s.”
Me: “Come on. Let’s go back for your license; it’s not that far.”
My girlfriend starts to get really snotty.
Girlfriend: “I’m twenty. I’m in college. I go to John Carroll. Do you know where John Carroll is?”
Employee: “I’m sorry, but I can’t let you in without your license.”
Girlfriend: “I go to John Carroll.”
Me: “Honey, they have to check. She could probably lose her job if she doesn’t check—”
Girlfriend: “Yeah, whatever. We weren’t going to buy anything, anyway.”
My girlfriend stormed out. I followed her, calling, “Sorry!” over my shoulder. I was so incredibly embarrassed! We later broke up over her immature behavior.
