Next Time, Date An Adult

My girlfriend and I have been dating for a while, and since she has never been to an adult store, I decide to take her. When we are in the parking lot, I tell her to get her license ready and she says she doesn’t have it. I suggest that we go back for it since it isn’t too far, or that we could try to go in anyway and see if we get carded. I’m a few years older and haven’t been getting carded anywhere lately. We decide to see if we will get carded and walk in.

Employee: “Hi, welcome to [Adult Store]. I just need to see your driver’s licenses, please.”

I show her mine.

Girlfriend: “I forgot mine at home.”

Employee: “I’m sorry, but I need to see ID.”

I start to turn around, but my girlfriend starts to argue with the employee.

Girlfriend: “I’m twenty years old.”

Employee: “I’m sorry. I still can’t let you in without ID.”

Girlfriend: *Gestures at me* “But she’s twenty-seven. Can’t she be my legal guardian or something?”

Employee: “I need to see both of your ID’s.”

Me: “Come on. Let’s go back for your license; it’s not that far.”

My girlfriend starts to get really snotty.

Girlfriend: “I’m twenty. I’m in college. I go to John Carroll. Do you know where John Carroll is?”

Employee: “I’m sorry, but I can’t let you in without your license.”

Girlfriend: “I go to John Carroll.”

Me: “Honey, they have to check. She could probably lose her job if she doesn’t check—”

Girlfriend: “Yeah, whatever. We weren’t going to buy anything, anyway.”

My girlfriend stormed out. I followed her, calling, “Sorry!” over my shoulder. I was so incredibly embarrassed! We later broke up over her immature behavior.