Thank God He Didn’t Find Nemo

, , , | Right | April 9, 2019

(I’m an educator at my aquarium, and I work the touch pools very frequently.)

Me: “Welcome to our tide pools! You’re welcome to reach in and touch any of the animals in these two—“

Customer: “Is this the sushi exhibit?”

Me: *clearly not amused* “No.”

Customer: *points at a skunk shrimp* “Is that a crawdad?”

Me: “He’s a skunk shrimp; he helps other animals by cleaning any—“

Customer: “Does he taste good?”

(I just glared at him until he got uncomfortable and walked away.)

Scotland And Canada, Northern Brothers In Arms

, , , , , | Working | December 12, 2018

(A coworker and I are in Houston, Texas for a training course. He’s from Scotland; I’m from England. As we have weekends off, we decide to drive down to Galveston and have a look round. After a short drive round, we spot the aquarium and decide to pay it a visit. It is very quiet, so there is only one member of staff on the ticket desk.)

Ticket Lady: “Welcome to the aquarium. How are y’all doing today?”

Me: “Fine, thanks. One adult, please.”

Ticket Lady: “No problem. Just for our records, where are you from?”

Me: “England.”

(She thanks me and gives me my ticket after I pay.)

Coworker: “An adult ticket for me, as well, please.”

Ticket Lady: “Okay, and where are you from?”

Coworker: “Scotland.”

Ticket Lady: “Oh, that’s the same thing.”

Coworker: “Really? What part of Canada are you from?”

Feel For Her Poor, Coddled Children

, , , , , | Legal | December 8, 2018

(I’m working at an aquarium. Today I’m in charge of doing a feeding show with the penguins. As little kids in the audience go, “Eww,” or, “Aww!” a full-grown lady walks up.)

Lady: “AAAH!” *covers children’s eyes, and then turns to me, through the tank* “How can you let kids watch this?! Dead animals being given to these cute creatures! Disgusting!”

(She stalks off, and I continue the show. Just a week later, I get a notification from management telling me I have to show up in court for this lady who’s suing us.)

Lady: *in court* “They were corrupting our children, letting them see these dead animals being fed to the animals they thought were these cute, fluffy creatures!”

Me: “Ma’am, with all due respect, the penguins need the fish to survive. The children aren’t ‘corrupted’ by it because they eat fish, beef, and chicken themselves! Are you expecting us to have to feed them at ten pm when we close and they’re about to go to sleep?”

(This went in a circle for a while, but she ended up losing!)

Unfiltered Story #125713

, , , | Unfiltered | November 13, 2018

(It is nearing the end of a long day of work in the middle of spring break working at an aquarium/water park. One of the new hires did not mention that he had changed the cheese we put on the nachos in the heater and did not replace the second bag to keep it warm. A husband and wife approach the counter.)

Husband: “Hello, I just purchased these nachos and the cheese is cold. I was wondering if y’all can put them in the microwave in the back to heat them up?”

Me: “I am sorry, but we do not have a microwave. We can replace that for something else, though?”

Husband: “But I really wanted nachos; are you sure you can’t heat it up somehow?”

Coworker #1: “Yes, we are sure.”

Wife: “What the f*** is the f****** problem?! He asked you to heat it up; what is wrong with that! We do not want cold cheese on our nachos.”

Coworker #1: “We do not have a way to heat it up, as we said, but we can replace it for you.”

(I go back to helping the other guests as the line is still long.)

Wife: *while they are both eating the one they paid for in front of us* “F*** that, we want a refund and two more for free! We are not going to f****** eat cold f****** cheese!”

Coworker #1: “We cant do that if you are going to lie in front of us, and we cant give you a refund and two more.”

Wife: “This is bull-s***! What is your name?”

Coworker #1: “[His Name].”

(We never heard back from them or got in trouble. In fact it became a running joke.)

Unfiltered Story #124731

, , | Unfiltered | November 9, 2018

(I volunteer at the aquarium, and we have several different stations. One of them is a touch pool with several animals including horseshoe crabs in it. One of my first times at that station, I see a visitor trying to get his daughter who was no more than ten years old to touch the horseshoe crab.)

Visitor: “Why don’t we pet the horseshoe crab?”

Visitor’s Daughter: “No, it’s scary!”

(This sort of exchange goes back and forth for a few minutes until I hear this part:)

Visitor: “How about I touch it first?” *pets horseshoe crab* “See it didn’t hurt me. Don’t you trust me?”

Visitor’s Daughter: “No, I don’t!”

(The visitor gave up after that.)

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