Unfiltered Story #125713

, , , | Unfiltered | November 13, 2018

(It is nearing the end of a long day of work in the middle of spring break working at an aquarium/water park. One of the new hires did not mention that he had changed the cheese we put on the nachos in the heater and did not replace the second bag to keep it warm. A husband and wife approach the counter.)

Husband: “Hello, I just purchased these nachos and the cheese is cold. I was wondering if y’all can put them in the microwave in the back to heat them up?”

Me: “I am sorry, but we do not have a microwave. We can replace that for something else, though?”

Husband: “But I really wanted nachos; are you sure you can’t heat it up somehow?”

Coworker #1: “Yes, we are sure.”

Wife: “What the f*** is the f****** problem?! He asked you to heat it up; what is wrong with that! We do not want cold cheese on our nachos.”

Coworker #1: “We do not have a way to heat it up, as we said, but we can replace it for you.”

(I go back to helping the other guests as the line is still long.)

Wife: *while they are both eating the one they paid for in front of us* “F*** that, we want a refund and two more for free! We are not going to f****** eat cold f****** cheese!”

Coworker #1: “We cant do that if you are going to lie in front of us, and we cant give you a refund and two more.”

Wife: “This is bull-s***! What is your name?”

Coworker #1: “[His Name].”

(We never heard back from them or got in trouble. In fact it became a running joke.)

Unfiltered Story #124731

, , | Unfiltered | November 9, 2018

(I volunteer at the aquarium, and we have several different stations. One of them is a touch pool with several animals including horseshoe crabs in it. One of my first times at that station, I see a visitor trying to get his daughter who was no more than ten years old to touch the horseshoe crab.)

Visitor: “Why don’t we pet the horseshoe crab?”

Visitor’s Daughter: “No, it’s scary!”

(This sort of exchange goes back and forth for a few minutes until I hear this part:)

Visitor: “How about I touch it first?” *pets horseshoe crab* “See it didn’t hurt me. Don’t you trust me?”

Visitor’s Daughter: “No, I don’t!”

(The visitor gave up after that.)

Not A Different Kettle Of Fish

, , , , | Right | October 26, 2018

(I work at an aquarium. A woman walks up to me while I am tending to the fish. She looks slightly troubled.)

Customer: “Excuse me. Can you help me with something?”

Me: “Sure, what can I do for you?”

Customer: “Well, I see that you take care of all these fish, so you must know what you’re doing. I have never kept fish before, and I’m a little out of my depth.”

Me: “All right. I can help you out with that.”

Customer: “Great! See, my son just got sent to prison, but he had a fish tank. I was hoping that, if I show you a picture of the fish, you could identify them and tell me how to care for them.”

Me: “I’m sorry to hear about your son, but I will certainly look at the fish.”

(The customer pulls out her phone and shows me a photo of a tank filled with large striped fish. I identify them instantly but am anxious about offending this nice woman.)

Me: “Those are… uh… Honduran red-point convict cichlids.”

Customer: *slowly smiling* “That’s perfect!” *bursts into laughter*

(We then happily discussed the proper care of her new inmates.)

My Wife Is My Stingray Of Sunshine

, , , | Right | September 11, 2018

(I work at an aquarium. I’m at the touch pools supervising to prevent any incidents, when a new group of people walks up to the pools.)

Me: “Hi, guys, would you like to touch a creature? If you would, you’re just going to use one or two fingers and stroke.”

Guy In the Group: “That’s what I tell my wife, too.”

Me: “I’m not sure how to respond to that.”

She Has A Crab Mentality

, , , , , | Right | June 29, 2018

(At the touch tank of the local aquarium, this happens:)

Guest: “Can you make the hermit crabs gladiator fight?”

Me: “Sorry?”

Guest: “Yeah, like, can you make them fight each other?”

Me: “Well, they’re typically not aggressive to each other, and for the safety of our animals, we try not to encourage or instigate fights between them.”

Guest: “Well, I bet I can make them fight to the death, like, a gladiator fight.”

Me: “Please don’t do that.”

(The guest takes the hermit crabs out of the water, places them next to each other, and goes as far as to draw a circle around the hermit crabs for them to “fight” in.)

Me: “Please let the hermit crabs go.”

Guest: “Okay, okay.”

(Luckily for me, she left, and the hermit crabs scuttled away from each other without fighting. All was well, but please, lady, listen to the employees! They know what they’re doing!)

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