I’m working in an office with quad cubicles. My teammate is on the other side of a full wall next to me, so I can’t see her. She’s very good friends with our other teammate, who shares an open desk with her. On the other side of them are two other employees I enjoy chit-chatting with through the wall. My teammates usually whisper to themselves or listen to their music with headphones.

A few months into the job, my teammate asks me to join her, our other teammate, and some ex-coworkers they remain friends with out to eat after work. They go once a month and I feel excited to be included. I mark on my calendar when we’ll go out together the next month as soon as we plan it and start looking forward to it again.

One day, the other employee across the cubicle from me starts talking to me, and the conversation goes towards my age. I’m probably the second youngest worker but I’m always top-performing; nobody has ever had a problem. She goes on to say that all “kids” my age — I’m 22 and she’s 34 — think they know everything and that I’m going to be an entirely different person in ten years time. Getting frustrated, I shortly tell her she’s wrong, not everyone is like her, and I am trying to work.

Her teammate cracks a joke and we all laugh. I guess my teammate had been listening and was sick of hearing the conversation and laughter because I hear her exclaim, “I’m done!”, get up, and leave for a smoke break.

I don’t think anything of it until she stops having conversations with me unless it is in regards to work. It’s the same with our other teammate, but their whispering continues, especially any time I attempt to start a conversation with them or speak with anyone else in my area.

When the time comes to go out with them again, I get an email from her saying they canceled and will reschedule later. A month goes by, and I hear them whispering to each other about what day is good for them to go out and if the other ex-coworkers can make it.

I shoot her an email and ask when we are going to go out again. About ten seconds after I send it, she snaps out of whispering and answers me with a loud, “I have no idea!”

I don’t mind that they don’t want me included anymore, I guess. It just bothers me that she lied to me and somehow thought I couldn’t hear their whispering conversations through the cubicle wall. Though I have long since quit that job, this sticks in my mind and I’ve pretty much avoided any friendship possibilities in the workplace.

I am working the drive-thru rather late in the evening.

Customer: “Are your chicken quesadillas vegan?”

Me: “No… they have chicken and cheese in them.”

Customer: “Are your steak quesadillas vegan?”

Me: “No… they have steak, and cheese, as well.”

The customer is now getting rather rude and snooty.

Customer: “Are your cheese quesadillas vegan, then?”

Me: “No… they have cheese. It’s a milk product.”

The customer got huffy and drove off, and I was left sitting there wondering what had just happened.

I volunteered to help with the Easter celebration at my grandson’s school. 

After the egg hunt, we herded the kids into their classroom. The teacher made an announcement that candy was not to be unwrapped until later.

While roaming around to help students, I came across the only child who had caused problems. Too late to stop him, I could only watch as he ate a piece of candy… still in its wrapper.

Technically, he didn’t disobey the teacher.

I have recently been transferred to the prepared foods department. The regular featured in this story is one of those self-entitled types who wants what she wants NOW, and woe to the poor soul who crosses her.

My store is located in a fairly affluent area and it’s the day after Memorial Day. I’m pulling the salad bar, glancing at the counter every few seconds to check for customers.

Me: “Well, hi there! How can I help you this evening?”

Regular: *Snooty, condescending tone* “Where is your baked fish?”

She waves at the hot bar, which is void of all food.

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but my coworker just pulled everything. As per company policy and regulations from the health department, we are required to pull the food at night and throw it away to maintain proper food safety. We will have fresh fish out tomorrow, though!”

Regular: *Clearly pissed* “I rushed over here because of that fish! I thought you were open until nine.”

Me: “We close up shop at 9:00 pm so we can thoroughly clean our kitchen and workspaces, but as per policies, rules, and regulations, my coworker and I are required to pull all food at 8:00 every evening and throw the hot food away.”

The regular scoffs, glares at me, then walks away. I think that is the end of it, so I go back to pulling the salad bar. I’m almost done when a buddy from the deli calls over to tell me I have a customer.

I turn around, and lo and behold, it’s the regular. I duck into the back to look for my coworker, but as he is nowhere in sight, I sigh, resign myself to my fate, and head out there.

Me: *Disgustingly fake cheerful* “Yes, ma’am, what can I help you with tonight?”

She makes a face that is full of disgust, as if she is saying, “Ugh, you again?!”

Regular: “I want two pounds of egg salad.”

We have been out of egg salad for a couple of days at this point, so I brace myself for the backlash.

Me: “I’m very sorry, ma’am, but we have been out of egg salad for a couple of days now. Like I’ve told my other customers today, I will leave a note with my team leaders and hopefully it will be on our next truck in a few days.”

She smiles, though more from anger and disbelief than from gratuity.

Regular: “This store never has anything. They can’t do anything right around here!”

I put on my best poker face and tuned her out. She finally walked away, talking loudly about how everyone in the store was an idiot, and went round to the front of the stores.

I finished pulling the salad bar and caught her trying to sneak back through produce, watching me the entire time. I guess she thought I was going to pull egg salad out of thin air, or someplace else if she was being that childish!

I’m at my grandma’s house one day, helping her go through some stuff. While she’s not very tech-savvy, she’s still pretty smart and knows when something’s up. She also has no problems wasting someone’s time if she knows they’re up to no good.

The phone rings, and she answers. I can hear the caller on the other end.

Grandma: “Hello?”

Caller: “Yes, this is [Caller] at Microsoft. Your computer has a bug.”

My grandma rolls her eyes.

Grandma: “A bug? But I’m not sick!”

Caller: “No, not a sick bug. It’s like a glitch. We can fix it for you, though.”

Grandma: “Really? How can you fix it?”

Caller: “Are you at your computer?”

We’re both in the kitchen, with the closest computer halfway across the house.

Grandma: “Yes, I am.”

Caller: “Can you open the start menu? It’ll be the icon with the squares in the bottom left corner.”

Grandma: “Okay, it’s open.” 

The caller then gives instructions on what commands to enter. If done, it would allow him remote access to the computer. When it comes time to actually input the final steps:

Grandma: “Actually, can you hold on? My show’s about to come on.”

Caller: “Ma’am, it’s very important that we fix this now. This bug could ruin your computer.”

Grandma: “Really?”

Caller: “Yes, ma’am. You could lose everything on the computer.”

Grandma: “Huh, because ten minutes ago I ran [Security Software], and it came back fine. I also know Microsoft doesn’t call about computer bugs. Do people actually still fall for that? Next, you’ll be some prince trying to send me millions!”

The caller is silent for a moment and then hangs up. My grandma puts the phone down.

Grandma: “Bug, my a**.”