Right Working Romantic Related Learning Friendly Healthy Legal Inspirational Unfiltered

Now We’re Not Speaking The Same Language!

, | Learning | April 10, 2017

My European friend of Chinese descent is a polyglot who immigrated to the US at 15. The foreign languages offered at her school are French, Spanish, German, Chinese, and Japanese. French and Chinese are her native languages, Spanish is near native, German is advanced, and Japanese is conversational.

Unfortunately, all classes are below her level. They don’t know where to put my friend until a history teacher who happens to have the language periods free offers to talk about ancient language history.

I Can Do Martial Arts In My Sleep

, | Romantic | April 10, 2017

My boyfriend practices martial arts.

The first time I sleep over at his place, we are both asleep, when all of a sudden he hits he me quite hard in the forehead, waking me up.

I shoot up and look to his side but he is fast asleep. The next morning when I tell him about it, he can’t remember anything of it. But he could see a nice red spot on my forehead, suggesting I wasn’t lying or imagining things!

Won’t Be Test-Driving That Bad Attitude Anytime Soon

, , | Working | April 10, 2017

Several years ago I was in the market for a pickup truck. I notice a shiny red 4×4 on the front line of our town’s local dealership and pull in for a closer look. It’s doors are locked, and although I could see several salesmen glued to the front window of the building, looking for customers, nobody comes out to help.

I decide to go in and make myself known. To my surprise, nobody will even look at me, much less greet me. They aren’t exactly busy either. Eventually I get tired of being ignored and approach one of the offices. The salesman inside looks bored. He has his head propped on his hand and is scrolling through something on the computer. I stand there politely, waiting for him to see me. Finally I say “Hello!” quite audibly. After a moment’s pause, I get an “Mmmph” response. I tell him I’d like to have a look inside the red 4×4 in the front row. All he can muster is a “Yeah” and begrudgingly gets up and locates a set of keys.

I lead him across the lot to the truck. He unlocks the door and I sit inside. When I get out he quickly closes the door and locks it, then starts heading back into the building. Bewildered, I ask, “Can we go for a test drive?” to which he says, “Nope. We get lots of kids in here looking at vehicles. We waste time getting plates and going for a ride, then we never see them again. If you want to go for a ride we need to do the financing first.” He then turns and goes back inside without saying another word.

I get back in my car and leave. I go to a dealer of the same brand in another town and promptly buy a truck from them. On my way home I can’t resist. I stop at the first dealer and park right in front of the building. I go inside and ask to see the sales manager. I go inside his office, take my paperwork out, and put it on his desk. “I came in here yesterday ready to buy that red 4×4 from you guys. I like to keep my money local, but I was made to feel like I was wasting your time because I’m a ‘kid.’ Incidentally, I’m 29 if that makes any difference. Instead, I went to your competitor in [Neighboring Town] and actually bought this more expensive truck from them,” I said, putting my finger under the price on the sheet. “You guys must be doing exceptionally well to be able to turn customers away like that. Your buddy’s–” *motioning towards the salesman who had given me the brush* “–attitude towards younger customers has cost you my business.”

A few days later I saw the same red 4×4, wearing dealer plates, broken down on the side of the highway ramp. Had I been allowed to go, the ‘test drive’ would have been an interesting one!

Eliminate The Checking Process

, , | Working | April 9, 2017

Back in the 1970s, I remember reading a catalog from an electronics company. On the last page, next to the order form, they had this note:

“Make ordering easy! Just send us a signed check made out to us. Don’t fill in the amount. Let us add it all up, including shipping, and calculate the total, then we’ll write it on your check for you.”

My thought was, “yeah, it will also eliminate that unsightly balance in my checking account.”

Dramas In Pajamas

, | Related | April 8, 2017

My mother is very sheltering. She avoids talking about any “R-rated” topics, and that is how I was raised. Every year for Christmas, my mom buys me pajamas from a certain store because I love them.

One year, she goes a bit later in the season than she usually does, so the selection is a bit picked over. She picks out an innocent-looking set with a pink top and gray bottoms. When I open them on Christmas Eve, as is our tradition, I undo the ribbon and unfold the pajamas.

To everyone’s shock, the originally innocent-looking pink top proudly proclaims “I look best undressed” in bold, block letters on the front. My mom freaks out.

In a lapse of judgment on the designer’s part, the pajamas had been folded and set out in such a way that the front of the shirt was not visible. They were tied together with a ribbon, so there was no way to unfold them to look at them.

I do still own the shirt, as it is very comfortable, but I am careful to only wear it around people who know the story.