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The Teacher Is Holding Stationary

, , | Learning | May 11, 2017

My teacher always wore the same light coat in class. One day, bored, I slip a pencil into his pocket to see how long it takes him to notice. This soon catches on with the whole class, and there are days when he winds up with about ten pens and pencils at a time.

I realized in junior high that he’d probably been onto us within a week of the first occurrence, but it took me a few more years to realize we never got our pens and pencils back…

Challenging Perceptions

, , | Related | May 8, 2017

My parents were raised very strictly Christian, and for a large part of my upbringing thought rather less of homosexual people, simply based on what they had been taught in church.

This all changed when I entered my second year of high school. Up until my senior year of high school, I hadn’t had a girlfriend (I am male), minus of course the so called “girlfriends” that little kids have when they aren’t old enough to understand what the words and concepts actually mean. This was not because I was interested in people of my own gender, but rather because I had crippling social anxiety, and always spent as much time as I could playing video games or using the computer, rather than talking to anyone, male or female.

My parents, being loving but slightly misguided people, mistook this behavior for me being gay, and had some heart to hearts, consulted their bibles, and decided that, no, homosexuality is not wrong, and by proxy there was nothing wrong with potentially-homosexual me.

Without knowing until a few years later when I met the woman who I would go on to marry, I had changed my parents’ view of homosexuality by having a then-poorly understood mental disorder.

This Movie Is F-Bombing

, , | Learning | May 2, 2017

I take a film-analysis class. Our teacher picks films to watch without regard to their ratings, so we end up watching a lot of R-rated movies (with parental permission, of course).

Towards the middle of the year, someone asks if we can watch a specific R-rated movie. The teacher told us that that was the only movie he was not allowed to show.

For whatever the reason, several years before this, a member of the Board of Education found out that the teacher was planning on showing the movie and decided to sit down and count the number of F-bombs dropped (it was a three digit number), then told the teacher that he was not allowed to screen the movie because of the high number.

Never mind that we still heard the F-bomb in other movies we watched, as well as in our daily lives, or that we watched movies with an abundance of sex and violence, or even that some of us had seen the movie before!

The teacher didn’t really know why the Board member singled out that one movie and last I heard, there have not been any other similar complaints.

The Disappointed Mom Is Mightier Than The Sword

, | Related | May 2, 2017

My mom works for a drugstore. One night, she comes home from work with this story about how she stopped a shoplifter.

While she is putting up the sales tags for the week, she notices a young man wearing a long coat with deep pockets. He is covering his face with his hand in an attempt to conceal his identity, and his coat pockets are stuffed full of stuff. It is fairly obvious that this guy is shoplifting.

Normally, company policy regarding shoplifters is to let them go, since the security cameras have already caught their face and plate number anyway, but there had already been a separate shoplifting attempt earlier in the day that her manager is dealing with, and my mom is fed up. She can see that this guy is heading for the front doors, so she goes around to cut him off there.

She reaches the doorway before the shoplifter gets there. When she sees him, she looks him right in the eyes, crosses her arms, and gives him her best Disappointed Mom Look as she shakes her head. He stops, and then slowly walks back toward the registers. My mom watches as he empties his pockets on the counter and pays for every last thing. She gives him a smile and a nod as he leaves, still red in the face from embarrassment.

Never underestimate the power of a Disappointed Mom Look.

The Mistake Was His

, | Related | April 29, 2017

I was born out of wedlock. While everyone was supportive of the boyfriend (my dad), such as my mom’s parents, siblings, and other family members, my great-grandpa was not. He told my mom that the boyfriend was just going to leave her and then the baby is going to be a problem with her parents. They would have to take care of her, and her siblings, and the baby. But the boyfriend (my dad) never leaves her and they are able to have me, get jobs, and a house.

I never knew I had a great-grandpa until my sister is born. I am 10 at the time. He appears at my grandparents’ house one day just to see my baby sister. He is saying that this is how you have a baby. He doesn’t really acknowledge me and when he finally does, he just tells me I was a mistake.

It got me upset and we left my grandparents’ house. My parents told me, I wasn’t a mistake and was one of the best things that happen to their lives. I later heard from my parents that whole family cut their ties with my great-grandpa. Which I was fine with.