(It’s my sister’s wedding and I’m invited. We aren’t close and I’m against weddings but I decide to go anyway to please my dad and brother. I plan to go in a dressy blouse and a formal skirt, but my brother wants me to wear an expensive dress.)

Me: “I don’t have the money for a dress.”

Brother: “Liar!”

Me: “Well, I don’t want to wear one. I’m a grown woman and can choose my own clothes! Why are you trying to control me?”

Brother: “I’m not trying to take away your freedom of choice. But this is a formal event and everyone will be looking at you. You’ll embarrass her if you wear a blouse and skirt to your own sister’s wedding.”

Me: “I don’t care what she thinks! Do you remember what she wore to my university graduation celebration?”

Brother: “No. What?”

Me: “Ripped jeans and a dirty sweatshirt. That day meant a lot to me after I worked like a dog for my degree. So, tell me again why I should wear this dress?”

(He went silent after that, but on the day of the wedding he started up again. I figured it was just one day, so I caved, but I wish I hadn’t.)

(A client calls in wanting a demo ASAP, at a time that we are super busy and I’m booking dates months in advance. I manage to find a date on short notice but it has to be morning so the engineer can miss a 300-mile drive at rush hour.)

Me: “I’m ringing about the demo next week. I messaged you about finishing before 1:00 pm?”

Customer: “No, that is unacceptable, and I will not be attending. This has been booked for four weeks and suddenly, you’re changing it!

Me: “I’m sorry but we booked this last week, and two days later, I informed you that we would need it to be in the morning.”

Customer: “Well, I won’t be there. We will have to ‘shelve’ it.”

(I start to think he is bluffing.)

Me: “Okay, well, I will cancel the appointment and try to book another time. Sorry that we couldn’t help you. Goodbye.” *click*

(I tell my boss later that I have cancelled an opportunity and he tells me:)

Boss: “Good. He sounded like a d**k.”

(I’ve always been friendly with this customer and she has been coming into the store for at least a month. My coworker doesn’t speak any English. This happens while I am serving another customer nearby. Note, most Germans do understand English and many speak it very well. They are often happy to help someone in English, as long as that person isn’t being unpleasant. This customer gives a pile of change with some paper money to my coworker and tries to explain something in English. My coworker looks confused as there is no obvious sense for all the change.)

Me: “[Coworker] doesn’t understand any English!”

Customer: “I’m sick of being harassed for not speaking German! I’m not here long enough to bother learning any. Why are you being rude to me? Every time I come here, you are rude to me!”

Me: “I’m not being rude to you. Every time you have come here, I have served you nicely and in English. I’m just telling you that my coworker doesn’t understand English. She speaks German or Turkish.”

Customer: “I don’t care; translate for me!”

(I quickly translate for my coworker while trying to still serve my own customer in German.)

Customer: “I’m the customer; you should respect me! You’re always rude to me! Why should I learn German when I’m not going to be here long enough?”

(By this point, the other customers are just staring at her as most of them know me and know that I am usually very friendly and will serve people in both German and English, depending on their requirements. Then, the customer storms out while yelling about how I am rude to her and that I should respect her because she’s the customer.)

Coworker: *in German* “What was that about?”

Me: “Apparently, I am rude because I told her that you don’t understand English.”

(I am working the night shift at a smaller version of a fast food chain. We have a number of items, but sadly, not some of the more in-demand items during the summer months. I hear my headset go off, meaning it’s time for a drive-thru customer.)

Me: “Welcome to [Restaurant]. My name is [My Name]; how can I help you?”

Customer: “Yeah, I want two small frozen raspberry lemonades.”

Me: “Sorry, sir, we actually don’t have those here.”

Customer: “F*** you! You’re a [Restaurant], aren’t you?!”

Me: “Well, yes, but—”

Customer: “Then make me my f****** lemonades!”

Me: “Sir, I don’t have the equi—”

Customer: “You’re just lazy and don’t want to make me my lemonades!”

Me: “No. I simply can’t make your lemonades.”

Customer: “You’re just lazy!”

(The customer proceeded to drive through, flipping me off at the window. Well, at least his lack of an order allowed me to be a bit lazier and not serve him.)

(The store I work in eliminated baggers about eight years ago. Since then, the cashiers put the customer’s items into the bags, and then customers put them into their cart on their own. We’ll help only if the customer is older or unable to load the bags on their own.  Our store is also in the middle of a major remodel. This is a healthy customer in her mid-forties.)

Me: “Do you have any coupons or bottle slips?”

Customer: “No. So, what are they actually doing with all this construction?”

Me: “Well, they just finished expanding the pharmacy and moving the drive-thru around to the front of the store. And now, they’re redoing the floors and moving things around to their new locations.”

(By this time she’s paid and is just standing by her cart.)

Customer: “I was told last time I was in that they had finished the pharmacy, and now you’re telling me that they’re just now finishing it? Get your story straight. And I guess that now we have to load our own bags?”

(She grabs her two bags, leaving a fifteen-pound bag of dog food to be loaded. I ignore her comment, since it has literally been years since we’ve had baggers, and I know that it will make her angry if I point that out.)

Customer: “Hello? Did you hear me? Are you making me put my own things in the cart now?”

(She just stood there, expecting me to help her with what she’d already gotten in and out of her cart once. I loaded the dog food simply to keep the peace. Luckily, my coworkers thought she was crazy, too, when I told them the story later!)