I work in a fast food restaurant where our policy is to greet each guest as they come through the door and generally be as polite, friendly, and accommodating as possible. A customer enters the store with her husband.

Me: “Hello!”

Coworker #1: “Hi! Welcome to [Restaurant].”

Coworker #2: “Hi!”

Me: “How are you folks tonight?”

Customer: “We’re fine, thanks.”

Me: “What can I get for you?”

Customer: “I’d like a cheeseburger basket.”

Me: “And what side would you like with that?”

I continue taking the customer’s order, as well as her husband’s. I am about to finish the order when I notice that I forgot to ask what the customer would like on her cheeseburger. Since all of our non-specialty burgers come plain, this is somewhat important.

Me: “I’m so sorry, I forgot to ask: what condiments would you like on your cheeseburger? They come plain and I wouldn’t want you to get a plain burger if you didn’t want one.”

Customer: “I’d like, ketchup, mustard, lettuce, onion, and pickle.”

Me: “All right! Can I get you anything else tonight?”

Customer: “No.”

Me: “Will you be dining with us tonight?”

Customer: “Yes.”

Me: “All righty! That will be [price].”

The customer hands me her card.

Me: “Did you need a receipt tonight?”

Customer: “No, thank you. You guys are all way too polite.”

Me: *Nervous laugh* “Feel free to take this number to your table and we’ll bring your food right out to you. Enjoy!”

The customer leaves the counter and walks out of earshot.

Manager: “Well, then, I guess next time we’ll have to remember to be rude to her!”

My parents are visiting and my mother has offered to go with me to the grocery store. My husband has written out the list and one of the items is “baking sheet”. I go to the kitchenware aisle and pick up, well, a baking sheet: a flat metal pan with raised edges.

Mom: “That’s not on the list.”

Me: “Yes, it is. See? ‘Baking sheet.’”

Mom: “Well, clearly, that’s not what [Husband] meant.”

Me: “But it is.”

Mom: “Why would he tell you to buy a cookie sheet?”

Me: “Because we need one?”

Mom: “He must have meant something else.”

Me: “What else could he have meant?”

Mom: “I’m sure he means parchment paper.”

Me: “Then why didn’t he write parchment paper on the list?”

Mom: “You know how men are; they forget what things are called all the time and then they get grumpy when you bring home the wrong thing. Your father does it constantly.”

Me: “Dad might, but [Husband] doesn’t. And I’m buying a baking sheet because I had an unfortunate encounter with the barbecue last week and wrecked our only one, which is why [Husband] put it on the list.”

Mom: “You should still buy some parchment paper just in case.”

I did not buy parchment paper, and my husband was pleased to have a replacement for the charred remains of our last baking sheet.

After clearing security at the airport, my family decides to stop at a sandwich shop on the way to our gate. My brother orders first and then goes to stand outside while the rest of us place our orders. While my mom is paying, my brother comes running back in.

Brother: “Guys, they’re calling us!”

Confused, we double-check our boarding passes and confirm that boarding isn’t even scheduled to start for another fifteen minutes. Figuring it must just be a message they need to give us, we keep waiting for our sandwiches. As they come up, we hear this.

Announcement: “[Our Last Name], party of five, please come to [gate] immediately for boarding.”

We grab our food and run through the terminal like something out of a movie, telling each other to hurry up, tripping on our luggage, barely holding on to our pillows, headphones, and other accessories. We’re almost there when we hear this.

Announcement: “[Our Last Name], party of five, this is your last call for boarding at [gate].”

Everything to this point has taken place over less than five minutes of time. As we board the flight, we notice a few fellow passengers glaring at us as if we had held up the entire plane, but as the plane is taxiing away, a flight attendant announces this.

Flight Attendant: “Okay, we want to thank everyone for boarding so quickly. Now we are able to leave fifteen minutes ahead of schedule!”

Upon landing in the next city, we sat on the tarmac for half an hour. The pilot informed us that this was because there were no available gates and we had to wait for our scheduled turn.

I’m in a very small branch of a popular UK bakery, and I do mean small; the floor is about the same size as a small bedroom. It’s about 5:00 pm on a Friday, and as it’s my birthday, I’m going out that night and staying with a friend, so I have a huge backpack stuffed full. The store is such a small size that I and three other customers — the guy in front of me at the till and the couple at the hot food counter — fill it.

When the couple turns around after getting their food, it puts them right next to the guy at the till. However, I’ve already been standing there behind him with my items in hand while he’s served. Note that I’m really tiny and not always easy to see when standing behind other people, but I am in full view of the couple. He gets his change and leaves.

Cashier: *To the couple* “Hi, what can I get you?”

Customer: “Just these, thanks.”

I am taken aback and reply admittedly slightly louder than I intended.

Me: “Oh, all right, then.”

Customer: *Giving me a dirty look* “Well, you can go ahead if you want. We were here first, though.”

I step forward without acknowledging her tone or her look, and the cashier gives me an apologetic look as she realises what’s happened. As I’m digging inside my backpack for my purse to pay, I notice that the customer leans backward to talk to her partner. I have my earphones in but my music switched off, as I always do when I’m at the till.

Customer: *Loudly, with great emphasis* “Jesus. H. Christ.”

Me: “I can hear you, y’know.”

She never said another word.

Due to the recent health crisis, it is a state law that people have to wear masks in public places like stores or restaurants. It is part of my job to remind guests to wear them. 

Two people walk in — a husband and wife. They get in line and neither of them has a mask on, so I walk up to them. They are both very tall and large, which is intimidating since I am a short, fourteen-year-old girl. 

Me: “Hi. Do you guys happen to have masks with you? If not, I would be happy to get you some!”

Customer: “No, we don’t believe in that.”

Me: “Sorry, but it is the law that you have to wear masks.”

Customer: *Angrily* “No, it’s not!”

Me: “Uh, well, actually, it is.”

Customer: “I’m a policeman! I know the law.”

Me: “Well, it is an order from the governor that—”

The customer cuts me off as he gestures wildly at the other customers.

Customer: “You can trick these idiot bozos into wearing masks, but I’m smarter than that. I’m police; I know that law and you can’t make me!”

Customer’s Wife: “Yeah. And what’s the difference between wearing one if it’s on your chin and not wearing one at all?!”

I didn’t really know what she meant by that last statement, or how to get them to wear masks. So, I told them I was going to get my manager. When I got back, they were both gone.