Sometime in the previous millennium, I worked in a store that produced custom neon signs. I remember getting an angry call from a customer:

Caller: “I just received my order, and it is a travesty! A travesty! It is nothing like what we discussed! I can’t even begin to describe how badly you’ve done!”

Me: “What’s wrong with the sign?”

Caller: “It’s completely backward! It’s like you took my instructions and just did a mirror version! It must be intentional! Sabotage! You took my perfectly clear instructions and did the reverse on purpose!”

Me: “Have you tried just… turning the sign around?”

Sound of rustling.

Caller: “Perfect! It’s a work of art! No notes!” *Click.*

Intentionally withholding some context from this, but this sequence of events at a previous role is the perfect example of how my experience as a whole was.

Operations is discovered to have not performed a procedure written by my predecessors decades before me. That same day:

Director: “Is this a non-compliance event?”

This would require self-reporting to a government agency in a specified time frame.

Me: “It’s possible that we violated [State Law] as I see the notes in the missed procedure that we do this for compliance. I don’t have any other documentation around why that is the case.”

Director: “YOU need to know this. YOU are responsible for understanding our permits and regulatory requirements. Get an answer ASAP.”

Me: “Will do.”

I understood the permits and requirements perfectly fine, just not this random procedure written with no documentation on reasoning. Cut to two days later, after tracking down documents dating back twenty years before my time.

Me: “I found documents which explain why that procedure was in place for Y regulation.”

I explain the document.

Me: “Not meeting Y regulation triggers a permit violation under condition X, which is a catch-all condition written expressly for instances such as the missed procedure.”

Director: “No. We’re not reporting that. You shouldn’t be wasting your time on this.”

I pushed back by asking if we should run it by the guy who would go to jail should it be determined we hid a violation or at least get Legal’s input. When my director said no, I made my manager aware of the situation.

Result: an HR meeting where I was told that all my work has to be done physically inside the facilities. A few months later, my director chewed me out for not being responsive when I was not onsite.

I already had one job offer with two more on the way when they let me go on a Monday for “lack of improvement.”

This is a very long time ago, so I’m comfortable sharing it now. I’m a new hire at a medical device company, with my main task being putting an anti-clotting coating on some of the products.

I’m being shown around, and every time my manager introduces me, I’m told they hope I’m better than the last guy. After the fourth time hearing this:

Me: “Hey, [Manager], I gotta ask; what happened to the last guy?”

Manager: “Okay, so the last guy realized that he was basically unsupervised to do his work the entire day, so he started a routine where he would clock in at the start of his shift, leave the building to do whatever, come back at the end of the shift, and just… move all the products he was supposed to have coated from the “In” pile to the “Finished” pile without actually coating them.”

Me: “For real?!”

Manager: “For real. He was immediately fired when he was caught, and so now you’ll see a  bunch more security cameras here to make sure nobody else tries something similar, not that I think you will.”

Me: “What happened to all the devices?

Manager: “It caused a major medical recall.”

Me: “Was he sued?”

Manager: “Ha! No medical company in their right mind would want it to come out in discovery that their quality control for medical devices was just one guy saying he did a job. Like, they didn’t perform tests on anything he was doing before it went out the door? Not auditing products for quality purposes is a real easy way to lose your ISO accreditation.”

He takes a pause and then fixes a stare at me.

Manager: “Don’t get any ideas…”

We’re a manufacturer that only sells to retailers and distributors.

Caller: “Hi, I placed an order with you guys two months ago. It hasn’t arrived yet, and I’m getting very frustrated. It shouldn’t take this long to get your god-d*** products. You just took my money and ran away with it. I want my order shipped ASAP, or the tracking info. And if you don’t, then I’m going to tell everyone how you stole from me.”

Me: “I can absolutely help with tracking that down for you! Could you please provide me with more information? Which business are you with, and do you have a PO number or any other identifying information?”

Caller: “I don’t have a god d**** PO number, and I’m not with a business. You’re trying to steal my money. Where is my order?”

Me: “Sir, we don’t sell directly to the general public. We only sell to retailers and distributors. Is it possible that you purchased our products from a retailer?”

Caller: “No! I purchased them directly from you!”

Me: “If you’re not affiliated with one of our retail partners, then you wouldn’t have been able to buy it directly from us. You’ll need to reach out to the retailer from whom you purchased the products for more information about where your order is.”

Caller: “It literally says ‘Made by [Company Name]’ here on Amazon!”

Me: “We don’t sell directly on Amazon, so any purchase you made would have been through a third-party reseller. The products are made by us but sold by other companies. On the product page or on your order confirmation in your email, it should tell you more about who you purchased it from. They would be able to help you more than I can.”

Caller: “Can’t you just look at the order and tell me?”

Me: “Again, since the order wasn’t placed with us directly, we have no way to see it.”

Caller: “Okay, but can you at least tell me when I can expect them to ship it to me?”

Me: “We don’t share any systems with any retailers, so I have no way of seeing either their orders or their inventory. I really have zero idea what caused their delay or whether they have the items in stock to ship them, unfortunately. We’d have to reach out to them directly to find out. If you could please let me know who you ordered through, I’d be happy to—”

Caller: “—WELL YOU’RE NO HELP AT ALL!” *Click.*

I worked in a machine shop. A lady once called us, asking:

Caller: “Do you repair washing machines?”

Me: “No, ma’am, we don’t.”

Caller: “But you’re listed as a machine shop!”

Me: “Our business fabricates metal parts for various machinery. We don’t do appliance repairs.”

Caller: “Do you know where to find a washing machine repair shop?”

Me: “Sorry, no.”

Caller: “Well, this has been a waste of time, and you’re totally useless!”

Me: “Well, since you don’t know either, I guess that makes you pretty useless, too.”

I hung up.