The Boss Thought They Were Ovary-acting

, , , , , | Working | March 16, 2020

A few months ago, my best friend had a cancer scare and had to go in for emergency surgery. Her sister worked for a Japanese company that, among other things, manufactures motorcycles and has a manufacturer site in the Great Plains — which is a little more west than the Midwest for you non-USA folk.

The sister asked her bosses to get the day of the surgery off so she could be with my friend. Her bosses said no and something along the lines of, “It’s just a surgery. You can see her on your day off.”

As I am sure many of you are, I was outraged. I messaged them across their various US social media outlets expressing my anger. Unfortunately, they never got back to me, most likely because I left out names and only provided the location. 

Luckily, the friend did not have cancer, just a naughty left ovary that decided it wanted to scare everyone and randomly exploded. The ovary was removed and my friend went on to recover just fine!

I hear some of you saying that there’s no conclusion about the bosses. Well, guess what?! I recently found out from the sister that the bosses who told her that emergency surgery wasn’t important… got fired. The sister herself is about to start another job that has a much more employee-friendly policy, so happy endings for everyone!

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Can’t Af-Ford Another Call

, , , | Right | January 6, 2019

(I am a designer working on a Saturday. No other office staff are working, so on occasion, the phone will ring and I go ahead and answer it. We have the good fortune to have a phone number that is the same as the local Ford dealer with one difference… when you punch in “F-zero-R-D” you get our number.)

Me: “[Business]; how can I help you?”

Caller: “I’m having trouble with my car and would like to make an appointment.”

Me: “This is [Business]; were you trying to reach the Ford dealer?”

Caller: “Yes.”

Me: “You have to dial F O! R D. Goodbye.”

(A few minutes later the phone rings again.)

Me: “[Business], how can I help you?”

Same Caller: “I’m having trouble with my car and would like to make an appointment.”

Me: “This is [Business]! You have to dial F O! R D. Goodbye.”

(A few minutes later the phone rings again.)

Me: “[Business], how can I help you?”

Same Caller: “I’m having trouble with my car and would like to make an appointment.”

Me: “Sure, would Thursday at 4:30 be okay?”

Same Caller: “Yes.”

Me: “See you then, goodbye.”

(I wonder if they squeezed her in?)

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Contracted A Bad Case Of Contract

, , , , | Legal | July 21, 2018

I run a small concrete-cutting business and I was looking for a new chief supervisor to look after the shop when I wasn’t there. I found a guy who looked good on paper, and after a fairly short interview process I hired him.

When I hired him, I told him that his employment was conditional on signing an employment agreement which my lawyer was in the process of preparing. Since he would have access to trade secrets and my client list, I especially needed to have him sign a non-competition agreement as part of the larger employment agreement.

A few weeks went by and he seemed to be performing adequately. So, I gave him the agreement to sign and he took it home to have a look at. That night I got a call from him saying he had issues with the agreement and he couldn’t sign it as-is.

The next day, he handed me the agreement with his notes, and I took it into my office to review. He had crossed out the “Duties and Responsibilities” section and the “Non-Competition” section. Not only that, but he had put in a much higher salary than we agreed, added a bunch of benefits on top of what he was already getting, and taken out the end date of the contract, making it indefinite.

After staring at the paper for a while, trying to get my temper back under control, I went out and found him and very calmly explained that if he wasn’t willing to sign the contract then I would take it as his resignation. I sent him home. I sent him a cheque for the five weeks he had worked and went back to looking for a new hire.

Here’s the kicker: He then decided to sue me for the “six weeks vacation pay” he believed he was entitled to. The judge laughed him out of the courtroom.

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In Good Company Name

, , , , , , | Right | January 10, 2018

(I work as a receptionist for a manufacturing company, so I handle all incoming calls.)

Me: “Good morning! [Company], how can I help you?”

Caller: “Hi! Is this [Company]?”

Me: “Yes, it is.”

Caller: “So, this is [Company]?”

Me: “Yep. This is [Company].”

Caller: “Oh. Just making sure I was calling [Company].”

Me: “That’s us, all day, everyday.”

(This actually happens a lot throughout the day, believe it or not.)

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Setting Security Straight

, , , , | Working | August 22, 2017

(This happened to an old colleague of mine back when coming out as gay was still a huge deal. He came out to pretty much the entire company at once. Shortly afterwards he gets called into a meeting with security. He isn’t sure what to expect and is apprehensive.)

Security: “So, you’re gay?”

Colleague: “Yes.”

Security: “Who knows about this?”

Colleague: “Well, just about everyone.”

Security: “So, you don’t mind people knowing? It’s not a secret?”

Colleague: “No, everyone can know.”

Security: “Oh! Well, there’s no security issue, then.”

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