In Good Company Name

, , , , , , | Right | January 10, 2018

(I work as a receptionist for a manufacturing company, so I handle all incoming calls.)

Me: “Good morning! [Company], how can I help you?”

Caller: “Hi! Is this [Company]?”

Me: “Yes, it is.”

Caller: “So, this is [Company]?”

Me: “Yep. This is [Company].”

Caller: “Oh. Just making sure I was calling [Company].”

Me: “That’s us, all day, everyday.”

(This actually happens a lot throughout the day, believe it or not.)

Setting Security Straight

, , , , | Working | August 22, 2017

(This happened to an old colleague of mine back when coming out as gay was still a huge deal. He came out to pretty much the entire company at once. Shortly afterwards he gets called into a meeting with security. He isn’t sure what to expect and is apprehensive.)

Security: “So, you’re gay?”

Colleague: “Yes.”

Security: “Who knows about this?”

Colleague: “Well, just about everyone.”

Security: “So, you don’t mind people knowing? It’s not a secret?”

Colleague: “No, everyone can know.”

Security: “Oh! Well, there’s no security issue, then.”

A Battery Of Issues

| Canada | Working | July 20, 2017

(It is required that the build teams take lots of pictures as they make equipment. They kept losing their cameras so my desk becomes the designated storage. Mostly they just grab one without asking.)

Coworker: “[My Name], can I have the other camera? The cord doesn’t work on this one. It won’t charge or turn on.”

Me: “Sure, I’ll trade you.” *opens the first camera to swap out the battery*

Me: “Uh, [Coworker]? Wanna try that cord again, this time with the battery in the camera?”

(He never noticed that the camera he took was missing its battery. No wonder it didn’t charge!)

A Different Flavor Of Crazy

| South Africa | Right | July 10, 2017

Me: “[My Name] speaking. How may I help you?”

Older Woman: “Hello, I buy your cat food all the time and my kitties just LOVES your [Flavor 1#] cat food. Recently when I went to the store they didn’t have [Flavor #1] so I had to buy [Flavor #2], which my kitties don’t like as much. Are you going to give me a voucher for the inconvenience?”

(I’m a bit thrown, because while we do give out vouchers, no one ever directly ASKS for one, even in severe cases.)

Me: “I’m sorry, you’d like a voucher because you knowingly purchased a different flavor of cat food, that your cat ate, and there was nothing specifically wrong with the food?”

Older Woman: “Yes, it was a huge inconvenience and I’d like a voucher for the difficulty I had to go through.”

Me: “I’m sorry but we cannot give out vouchers for matters such as this; there was nothing wrong with the product.”

Older Woman: “But my cats liked it less! I was inconvenienced!”

Me: “Unfortunately, the matter of a specific flavor being unavailable is dependent on the retailer. While we manufacture the product, they dictate which flavors they will choose to stock.”

Older Woman: “I see… Well, take my details down in case you can give me a voucher anyway.”

Me: “Ma’am, I can take your details down for our records but we will not be able to give you a voucher for this matter.”

Older Woman: “Are you sure?”

Me: “Yes, ma’am, I’m sure.”

Older Woman: “All right, then… I’ll just complain again another day. Thank you. Bye!”

(I sat and stared at the phone for a while because I was so amazed.)

Political Labels

| Stratford, ON, Canada | Working | July 7, 2017

(We use smaller child parts that get welded together to make engine cradles for OEM automobile manufacturers. This day, we ended up with two bins of LEFT [Bracket Type] instead of one LEFT and one RIGHT.)

Worker #1: “Oh, [expletive], we got left [Bracket] in the right [Bracket] riser.”

Worker #2: “Is the label right?”

Worker #1: “The label says ‘left.’ Must have been dropped off last shift by MS.” *Material Services* “Coffee must have run out.”

Me: “Maybe the left parts identify themselves as rights. We can’t discriminate anymore. This isn’t Trump’s America.”

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