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Sometimes The Lightbulb Just Doesn’t Go Off

, , , , , | Working | July 24, 2020

My family and I had just flown from the US to Ireland for a ten-day vacation. We were spread out over two hotels across the street from each other. Our flight came in at around five or six in the morning, so we were exhausted and just wanted to curl up in a bed and sleep.

My aunt and I were sharing rooms for the trip, so we checked in, went up to the room, and started to explore the room. We were having trouble figuring out how to turn the lights on. There were no wall switches, but some of the lamps had knobs. We tried turning them over and over and over, but no luck. We searched all around the room for a switch but came up empty.

My aunt went down to the front desk to ask about how to turn on the lights, and they told her it was on the wall. I found some odd-looking contraption on the wall near the door with what looked like a button. When I pressed the button, the lights came on, but as soon as I took my finger off, they turned back off.

We could not figure out how to keep them on, so we went back down to the desk. They were never rude to us, but you could tell they thought we were idiots who didn’t know how to operate a simple light. They came back to the room with us, took our key card, slid it into the contraption, and walked off. We stood there, dumbfounded.

We had never come across this in our one or two hotel stays a year in the US. We told my other uncle about our troubles that night at dinner. He, being a more seasoned traveler than us, chuckled at us, remembering his first time. Apparently, these key card contraptions to activate lights are in the US, but they are definitely not frequent.

It Sounds Like These Kids Could Really Benefit From An Education

, , , | Right | July 8, 2020

I work in a cafe in the middle of a shopping centre with limited storage space behind the counter. Usually, I open on my own at 9:00 am, which is okay as most days there isn’t a huge breakfast rush or many school children. One day, three kids no older than ten come up to the counter.

Kid #1: *Holds up a bottle* “How much is this?”

Me: “€1.85.”

He counts out some change and sits at a table with the others. I go to clean up another table next to it.

Kid #2: “Hey, do you know where we could go so we wouldn’t get caught mitchin’?”

Mitching = skipping school.

Me: “Well, I’m not from around here, so I don’t know. Sorry.”

Kid #3: “Can we leave our bags here and get them when we’re goin’ home?”

Me: “Sorry, I’ve nowhere to put them and I’d get in trouble.”

Kid #1: “What about in there?”

[Kid #1] points to a cupboard currently full of till rolls, paper cups, rosters, pastries, uniforms, and other work-related stuff.

Me: “It’s full up. We haven’t any other storage space. Sorry.”

I kind of hope they were caught or had no choice but to go to school.

Stay-At-Home Slacker

, , , , | Romantic | May 8, 2020

During the recent health crisis, my husband is minding and homeschooling the kids while I work from home upstairs. I was a stay-at-home mom when the kids were very young and he was away for work, and I found it extremely hard, which he knows.

“This is a piece of piss,” is Irish slang for, “This is really, really easy.”

Husband: “This stay-at-home parent thing is a piece of piss.”

Husband: “Of course, I haven’t transferred the money [to joint account] yet. I haven’t had time to do any of my personal admin!”

Husband: “You need to take a longer break in the middle of the day so I can go for a run.”

Cold Insults

, , | Right | May 8, 2020

I work with my uncle on the weekend. One of our regulars is chatting with my granny, aunt, and cousin who always come in on a Saturday.

My uncle walks back in from the store.

Regular: “Look at this f***er now with the hat on; he must be freezing.”

My uncle responds jokingly but quickly and sternly at the same time.

Uncle: “What did you call me?”

Regular: *Not skipping a beat* “Freezing!”

He got a good laugh out of us all.

Wireless, Clueless, Hopeless, Part 36

, , , , , | Right | April 25, 2020

I support routers for a fairly well-known company. Usually, customers are quite pleasant and trust that we know our devices well enough to know what they can and can’t do. Some people, however:

Customer: “My router isn’t giving me Internet over its Wi-Fi!”

Me: “Right, let’s check the cable, shall we? Is the Internet cable in the internet port?”

Customer: “No, this one doesn’t have a cable; it’s receiving Internet wirelessly. Are you stupid?”

Me: *Pause* “Your model does not come with that functionality. Either you put a cable in there, or you installed another software on there that does allow for that. Are you sure there isn’t a cable nearby that was unplugged accidentally?”

Customer: “Clearly, you don’t know your own products. You’re useless. You can’t even help me, can you?”

Me: “Evidently not. Have a lovely day.”

I hung up, because I’m not forced to deal with people like that.

Related:
Wireless, Clueless, Hopeless, Part 35
Wireless, Clueless, Hopeless, Part 34
Wireless, Clueless, Hopeless, Part 33