One of the hospitals my mom worked at was notorious for calling her on her day off to ask her to come in. The standard response at home for anyone asking for her was finding out who was calling, telling them, “Let me see if she’s here. Hold on,” and then quietly asking my mom if she wanted to speak with them.

A few years later, I’m working my first job at a fast food place, and the phone rings. It’s the owner calling for our manager. Without missing a beat, I say:

Me: “Let me see if she’s here. Hold on.”

My manager was maybe ten feet away and gave me the weirdest look, but it wasn’t until after she finished the call that I found out why.

Manager “Do you know what you said to [Owner]?”

Me: “No.”

Manager: “‘Let me see if she’s here. Hold on.’”

Me: “Oh, crap.”

I explained myself.

Manager: *Shaking her head with amusement* “Well, [Owner] told me said to her husband, ‘She had better be there!’ before I picked up. Don’t do that again.”

Lesson learned; after that, I was careful about what I said on the phone at work.

Related:
This Is Your Brain On Autopilot, Part 5
This Is Your Brain On Autopilot, Part 4
This Is Your Brain On Autopilot, Part 3
This Is Your Brain On Autopilot, Part 2
This Is Your Brain On Autopilot

I recently had to call my primary care office to schedule an appointment.

Me: “Hello, this is [My Name]. I need to schedule a four-week follow-up with [Doctor].”

After the usual checks and some typing…

Scheduler: “She has a 9:00 on Friday, August 18th.”

I don’t really want a doctor’s appointment first thing in the morning.

Me: “Does she have anything else? A tele-visit is fine.”

Scheduler: “Do you have a preference for another day or time?”

Me: “No, just not… then.”

I hear more typing.

Scheduler: “What about 2:30 on Monday the 24th?”

Me: “Um, that’s this Monday? No, it needs to be a month out.”

Scheduler: *Suddenly huffy* “Well, that’s why I asked!

I’m not sure if she forgot that she was scheduling a four-week follow-up but it still seems strange that my rejection of the Friday 9:00 am slot sent her looking days rather than weeks out. We ended up arranging it for an appropriate Tuesday afternoon.

We are short-staffed one day, and the girl working in the drive-thru is on break, so our manager steps in to cover her.

He is pretty old and doesn’t have the best hearing, so most customers are pulling around to the window to talk to him as he’s struggling to hear through the headset. One guy rolls up to the window and shouts:

Customer: “I want a large Big Mac meal with a Coke, please! Is that so d*** hard?!”

Manager: *Very calmly* “My apologies, sir. That won’t be difficult.”

He leans out of the window and points down the road, tipping his Burger King cap.

Manager: “There’s a McDonald’s about three miles in that direction. They’ll be able to help. Have a nice day, sir.”

Then, he just closed the window and walked around the corner out of sight. I laughed so hard!

Our breakfast menu is only available from 6:00 to 10:00 am. It’s now after our lunch rush, and I am managing the drive-thru. A man drives up.

Customer: “I want a meal number two.”

It’s slow, so he definitely gets what he ordered. Two minutes later, he comes back through.

Customer: “I ordered a number two, but didn’t get the right sandwich!”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir. Please pull around and we’ll get you the correct sandwich.”

I get the sandwich and check that it’s the right one before handing it out. Two minutes later, he comes inside and is irate.

Customer: “I’ve come through the drive-thru twice now and both time I got the wrong sandwich!”

Me: “Sir, I personally checked it, and you received the correct sandwich.”

I actually point at the number two meal on the menu board.

Angrily, as though I have done something wrong, he points at the breakfast menu board.

Customer: “No! I want that meal number two!”

Explaining the reality to him did not go down well.

A husband-and-wife couple walks into our fast food place looking a little drunk.

Husband: “I had five margaritas! I think that’s too much! I want a mocha milkshake for dessert!”

Me: “We don’t have that here.”

Husband: “What kind of Arby’s is this?”

Me: “Sir, this is a Hardee’s.”

He completely blanks out with this new information. The wife thankfully takes over.

Wife: “Can you mix some chocolate and vanilla shake together? He’s too drunk to notice the difference.”