It’s around Christmas time and I’m finishing up my last-minute Christmas shopping at my local big-chain grocery store.

As I’m waiting in line to pay for my few items, I notice the man in front of me. He’s an older gentleman, probably in his late fifties. He’s talking with the cashier, obviously excited about something. I come to find out that he’s buying stuff for his new apartment, the first one he’s ever had. He’s telling her that he’s a recovering alcoholic and addict who has finally, FINALLY gotten clean, gotten a job, and gotten his life together enough to get off the streets and into a place he can actually call his own.

I smile to myself as I listen to this man gush in excitement about decorating his new place… until it comes time for him to cash out. I guess the total is a bit more than he planned on because he asks the cashier to put some stuff back. He sounds so sad that my heart breaks. I don’t have any cash on hand to help him, but I do have a plan.

As soon as he walks away toward the entrance to wait for the bus, I ask the cashier to add the items he didn’t buy to my own order. At first, she looks confused, but I quickly say:

Me: “I want to buy those for him. Can you make it fast so I can catch him before his bus gets here?”

Y’all, I’ve never seen a cashier move so fast in my life! I rush to the entrance and thankfully, he’s still there.

I walk right up to him, hand him the two bags of stuff had to put back, and tell him:

Me: “Happy holidays.”

The look on his face when he realized what I had given him was worth more than the small amount I had spent.

I work in a bar and restaurant. It is midnight, four days before Christmas. The phone rings.

Me: “Hello, [Restaurant], how can I help?”

Woman: “I want to book a Christmas party for twenty people.”

Me: “I’m sorry to say that our restaurant is fully booked until the twenty-eighth of December.”

Woman: *Ignoring me* “I have the menu in front of me. Can you tell me about the vegan options? The [dish] says it’s vegetarian, but can you tell me why it’s not vegan?”

Me: “Unfortunately, I can’t. The kitchen closed three hours ago, at nine. Only the bar staff are here and they are not qualified to answer those questions.”

Woman: “But your website says you are open until midnight.”

Me: “Yes, we are, and we close in five minutes.”

Woman: “Can you tell me more about the menu?”

The woman rambles for a few minutes, and I don’t want to hang up on her in case she does want to book a party for after Christmas.

Then, suddenly, she drops this gem.

Woman: “Is it midnight yet?”

Me: “Yes, we are now closed.”

Woman: “I’ll let you go then. I bet you’re really happy that I called you. I saw this thing on NotAlwaysRight.com about someone phoning before closing so the person got to go on time. I’ve kept you busy! Haven’t I?”

I’m gobsmacked as I turn to all of my other colleagues rushed off their feet and starting our closing duties.

Me: “It doesn’t really work that way for a bar.”

I work at a well-known “bohemian” retail store that always has a huge inventory, especially around the holidays.

We are especially slammed one day when a customer comes up to me holding a dress I have never seen before, which is very common as we accept many online returns, even if the item is usually not sold in-store.

Customer: “Do you have this dress in any other sizes?”

Me: “That dress doesn’t look familiar; it might be an online-only item. But I could be wrong. Let me check the system for you!”

I scan the dress, and sure enough, our system says that’s the only one in stock. I explain this to the customer and she storms off. Five minutes later, I am talking to my manager when I feel something thrown at my back.

Customer: *Screaming* “You filthy liar! Do you not want my business? I found the dress in the size I wanted. Why did you lie to me earlier?”

She has thrown a dress at me, which apparently was entered into our system incorrectly.

Me: “I’m sorry for the confusion, ma’am. It must not have been scanned in properly when it was returned. Isn’t this a good thing, though? Now you can try on the size you want!”

Customer: “No! I will not buy from filthy liars like you! You’re just racist!”

Me: “…”

My manager not only backed me up but let me go on break. I love it when customers are in the holiday spirit!

I work for a bookstore that specializes in religious books. They carry other things, too, but it is safe to say that the bulk of our customers are religious.

This particular holiday season, corporate mandates that we wish customers “Happy Holidays” instead of “Merry Christmas.” They are very strong in their “demand” and we’re all fearful of what might happen if we slip up.

I make no errors the first few weeks in my wording and most customers don’t even notice. The few that do just comment on the state of the world or something along those lines.

Then, SHE comes in.

From the beginning, she is a difficult customer — the kind that believes that the few dollars they spend in the store every few months pays for your salary and that you owe them for keeping you employed. If you have worked retail, you know Her.

I make recommendations, answer questions, and help her pick out a few Christmas gifts. It takes forever! Finally, I check her out, and as she’s walking away I say, “Thanks for shopping with us, and Happy Holidays!” 

She stops like she hit an invisible wall. Slowly, she turns towards me with her mouth all screwed up. 

Customer: “What did you just wish me?”

I respond normally because I naively think that people don’t really go around screaming at retail workers for extending well wishes for the holidays.

Me: “I wished you a Happy Holiday! Is anything wrong?”

Customer: “How dare you?! You should be wishing me a Merry Christmas! Do you not believe in Christ? This place most of all should be celebrating the religious aspects of our holiday.”

Me: “I meant no offense. That is what my bosses have asked me to say to try to be more inclusive and avoid offending anyone.” 

Customer: “I doubt that. You are one of those people, aren’t you?! Sowing Satan’s thoughts! I will get you fired!” 

I can’t speak as I am completely stunned. 

Customer: “Well, enjoy your Christmas unemployed!”

She slams the door. Later, I recount the story to my manager. He laughs and laughs.

Manager: “Welcome to holiday retail. She won’t make a complaint; she’s too busy terrorizing other people elsewhere.”

He was right. And I was no longer naive.

Related:
Tis The Season For Unreason, Part 6
Tis The Season For Unreason, Part 5
Tis The Season For Unreason, Part 4
Tis The Season For Unreason, Part 3
Tis The Season For Unreason, Part 2

It is Saturday night, 7:00 pm, mid-December. It is a widely-known fact that companies have their office Christmas parties around town starting from October.

The restaurant is still fairly quiet; one small group is in the dining area, there are a couple of people at the bar, and there’s a group of around forty in a private room.

A family of three comes in. They order starters, mains, desserts, and drinks, and everything is going smoothly. About twenty people come in from the private room to the bar and dining area to enjoy the evening as a live duo is about to start performing. The duo is a calm blues/swing with a piano and vocals.

The mother of the family waves to me.

Mother: “We have been waiting for forty-five minutes for our main courses. What’s taking so long?! This place is terribly noisy and we want to leave!”

Me: “I’m sorry, I’ll ask the kitchen to expedite your order. We did have a private group in the other area and now some of them have come over to listen to the live music.”

I haven’t checked the time, nor do I have a clear idea on how long they have been waiting, but the starters have just been finished, so…

Mother: “You should have warned us about the number of people in here. We just wanted to have a nice, calm meal with our family, and it’s so noisy with all the people talking and music blaring!”

Me: *Pauses* “My apologies, I didn’t think to mention that our restaurant has customers. There is really nothing I can do about them chattering.”

Father: “We don’t care! You should have told us that there was a private party going on and that they were coming in here after!”

Me: “Yes… So, I’ll ask the kitchen to hurry up, then.”

Mother: “Bring the check while you’re at it!”

Absolutely I will, just to get rid of you idiots.

I went to the kitchen and checked the order. It had been printed thirty-one minutes before. So, okay, they might have waited five minutes with the empty starter plates, but forty-five?

The orders came up quickly, and with the biggest customer service smile, I took them over and wished them bon appetit. I got grumpy huffs as a reply.

A couple of minutes later, and not surprisingly, the dishes were not spicy enough, the burger was missing an onion (not part of the dish or description), the steak was too thick (?!), etc. Luckily, they paid without further incident and left.

It was the middle of the hottest Christmas party season and Saturday night in a restaurant. Would it be too much to assume that customers would expect someone else to be present at a restaurant, as well? It’s a public space; everyone is welcomed. If you want peace and quiet, eat at home or come in on Monday evening.