Unfiltered Story #124984

, , , | Unfiltered | November 12, 2018

My coworker and another employee aere alerted to a problem in the family changing room: a couple is inside one of the changing cubicles, obviously getting it on despite the nearby children. The parents are understandably upset.

The other employee took action and walked up to the cubicle’s door and began knocking and repeatedly saying: “Hurry up!” (knock-knock-knock) “Hurry up!” (knock-knock-knock) “Hurry up!” (knock-knock-knock).

The couple eventually came out, sheepishly washed their hands, and left.

Loony Over A Toonie, Part 6

, , , , | Right | October 1, 2018

(I live in Canada. I have just finished ringing in a customer and am returning her change. Among the coins is a “toonie,” a Canadian $2 coin.)

Me: “There you go, ma’am. Enjoy the rest of your day!”

Customer: *holding up toonie* “Um, what is this?”

Me: “That’s a two dollar coin, ma’am.”

Customer: “But what am I supposed to do with it?”

Me: “Well, it’s legal tender in all of Canada. So, er, buy stuff with it?”

(The customer is now visibly agitated.)

Customer: “Well, I’m leaving tomorrow!”

Me: *becomes forcefully polite* “Oh, how are you getting home? By airplane?”

Customer: “Yes!”

Me: “Well, then, you can buy yourself a coffee at the airport! Have a nice day!”

(We frequently get customers who are confused by Canadian currency. They either demand to be given American change, or assume the currency is actually some sort of token that’s only valid on the boardwalk.)

Related:
Loonie Over A Toonie, Part 5
Loonie Over A Toonie, Part 4
Loonie Over A Toonie, Part 3

An Orchestra Of Confusion

, , , , , | Right | August 9, 2018

(Our theatre has one auditorium, [Hall], with two levels: orchestra and balcony. When taking tickets, I routinely have these conversations with patrons:)

Me: “Okay, you’re upstairs in the balcony, nearest—”

Patron: “WE ARE NOT IN THE BALCONY! WE ARE IN [HALL]!”

Me: *politely* “Yes, the balcony section of [Hall].”

Patron: *snatches ticket back and storms up the stairs*

(Another example:)

Patron: *rushing up in a panic* “The sign says ‘orchestra’ above the door to the theatre! We don’t want to watch the orchestra; we want to see the play! We paid to see the play!”

Me: *politely* “Yes, you will be able to see the play. Your seats are simply on the first level of the auditorium.”

Patron: “Oh. But if the orchestra blocks our view, can we get a refund?”

Me: *picking my battles* “This play doesn’t have an orchestra. I’m sure you’ll be fine, but please let the staff know if there are any problems.”

(Another example: seeing, “ORCH,” short for “orchestra,” on their ticket, a patron asks, completely serious:)

Patron: “Does ‘orch’ mean there’s an orchard in there?”

Has Mixed Feelings About HR

, , , , , , , | Working | January 22, 2018

(I am of mixed race — my mom is black and my dad is white — but I have predominantly Caucasian features. I get called into HR after a verbal fight I had with another mixed coworker. She is accusing me of being racist towards her. I have a generic first and last name, so unless I choose to disclose my parentage, I can easily pass for white.)

Human Resources: “Hello, [My Name]. Thanks for coming. This is a safe space to share our feelings in, so no one feels attacked here.”

(My coworker sniffles and glares at me as I sit down.)

Me: “Okay.”

Human Resources: “So, let’s discuss what happened on Thursday, and how we can move forward. [Coworker] feels like you’re singling her out for being mixed and are purposely giving her easy work and putting her down in front of the boss due to her race.”

Me: “Now—”

Coworker: “I just feel so unsafe at work.”

Human Resources: “Don’t worry, [Coworker]; we are here to change that.”

Me: “Can I say something?”

Coworker: “You’ve said enough. It’s clear how you feel about black people.”

Human Resources: “Now, now, let’s stay calm. It’s a safe space. Now, [My Name], since is the first altercation, you won’t be fired.” *Yes, this is literally how she started the conversation* “But—”

Me: “Uh, excuse me? Aren’t you going to ask my side of the story?”

Human Resources: “Uh, well, sure, but—”

Me: “I hope you aren’t just taking her side because she’s more black than I am.”

Coworker: “YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW HARD IT IS BEING MIXED!”

Me: “NEWSFLASH! I’m mixed, too!”

Coworker: “What?”

Me: “I look white, but my mom is black. So, let’s go back you accusing me of being racist towards you for being mixed. Now that it’s clear I’m mixed, too, please explain to me how I’ve been demeaning to you because of your lineage. I’m sure my parents want to know where they went wrong with me.”

Coworker: *rushed* “Maybe I overreacted.”

Human Resources: “Okay, due to this turn of events, maybe we can settle it.”

Me: “Yeah, thanks to you finding out I’m mixed, all of a sudden I’m not the bad guy, huh? What if I hadn’t been mixed? You weren’t even going to hear my side of the story! You would’ve just taken her at her word, and I might’ve been out of that supervisor promotion I applied for. You could’ve ruined my future at this company all because I ‘look white.’”

(I stormed out of the office and found the nearest office with the words supervisor on it. I was led to the supervisor of the HR rep, and he listened to me rant for at least an hour before, calmly, helping me find a solution. Neither the HR rep or my coworker were fired, but the HR rep was unofficially demoted and my coworker was moved to a different floor. I haven’t had any trouble since, and although I got passed over for supervisor, my current boss practically told me I have her position when she goes on maternity leave. After this altercation, my mom half-jokingly told me to leave a picture of all of us on my desk in case of future misunderstandings of my race.)

Not Too Proud To Apologize

, , , , , , | Working | January 22, 2018

(I get into an argument with a coworker who is annoyed that our boss is giving those who asked the day off to go to the Pride Parade. Although I am straight, a few of my family members are not and I am going to Pride to support them.)

Coworker: “I don’t get why [Boss] is giving you that day off! You’re not even gay!”

Me: “So? Ever heard of allies?”

Coworker: “Oh, my God! Everyone is asking for the day to just slack off! You know that’s our busiest day! God, is anyone going even gay?”

Me: “Uh, yeah. You know some of our coworkers are gay, right? They wear pins all the time, and their wives even come by to pick them up.”

Coworker: “Who?”

Me: “Seriously, how have you not noticed? It’s [Coworker #1] and [Coworker #2]. Their wives are so nice and—”

Coworker: “What? They aren’t lesbians! They don’t look like lesbos.”

Me: “You can’t tell people’s sexualities by looking at them.”

(My coworker laughs and walks away; however, the next day, he corners me in the break room before I sign in.)

Coworker: “You know how you said yesterday about not being able to tell people are lesbos by just looking at them?”

Me: “Well, I said you cannot tell people’s sexualities just by looking at them, not just lesbians.”

Coworker: “Yeah, whatever. I talked to your uncle while you were getting your stuff from the back yesterday and he agreed with me. Straight people just have good gaydar, I guess. Even your own family agrees with me and—” *he stops since I burst out laughing* “What? What is so funny?”

Me: “You just disproved yourself!”

Coworker: “What?”

Me: “You just said my uncle’s straight, right?”

Coworker: “Wait—”

Me: “You told my uncle, who is gay by the way, that you can tell people are gay just by looking at them. You said all this without realising my uncle was gay!”

Coworker: “But he looked straight!”

Me: “Is your definition of gay wearing sequins and having a feminine voice? Gay people come in all different shapes, races, and voices. I think I won this argument.”

Coworker: “Wow… Does your uncle hate me now?”

Me: “He probably thinks you’re a little homophobic.”

Coworker: “I don’t think anyone has ever proven me wrong so successfully.”

Me: “You proved yourself wrong, buddy. I had nothing to do with it.”

(My coworker was so shocked by this that he apologised to my uncle when he next saw him and stopped complaining about people getting off for the Pride Parade. Obviously, change doesn’t happen overnight, but he has absolutely stopped making homophobic comments, and although he didn’t come to the Parade, one of my coworkers told me he asked her where he can buy a Straight Alliance pin. He promises to come to the Pride Parade this year, so we’ll see what happens.)

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