Unfiltered Story #144549

, , , | Unfiltered | March 18, 2019

Customer: “I’d like bacon, eggs and toast, please.”

Me: “I’m sorry, we don’t sell toast, but if you order [breakfast platter], It comes with an English muffin, or you can get a biscuit.”

Customer: “No, I want toast.”

(Continues for a few minutes, and she finally orders the platter, with a coffee.)

Me: “And would you like cream in your coffee?”

Customer: “Are you sure you don’t have any toast?”

(Finally finishes her order and goes off to eat. Then comes back.)

Customer: “So when are you getting your toast back?”

Me: “We don’t sell toast, we’ve never sold toast, we’re not out of stock, we don’t sell it.”

(As she’s leaving)
Customer: “You should really get toast.”

Six To Be You!

, , , , , | Working | February 26, 2019

(I’m friends with my managers, and because of that I often sit with them during lunch breaks.)

Manager #1: “I am working five days this week! I’m so tired when I’m done with work I just shower and go to bed! You know they’re making us work six days a week starting next week?”

Manager #2: “That is ridiculous! How can anyone have a life with only one day off?”

Me: “I’m constantly working six days a week even though I submitted a form to take back my extended hours. I’d love to have two days off, especially since I’m enrolled in an online school course.”

(My managers stopped complaining after that, or at least around me.)

Unfiltered Story #124984

, , , | Unfiltered | November 12, 2018

My coworker and another employee aere alerted to a problem in the family changing room: a couple is inside one of the changing cubicles, obviously getting it on despite the nearby children. The parents are understandably upset.

The other employee took action and walked up to the cubicle’s door and began knocking and repeatedly saying: “Hurry up!” (knock-knock-knock) “Hurry up!” (knock-knock-knock) “Hurry up!” (knock-knock-knock).

The couple eventually came out, sheepishly washed their hands, and left.

Loony Over A Toonie, Part 6

, , , , | Right | October 1, 2018

(I live in Canada. I have just finished ringing in a customer and am returning her change. Among the coins is a “toonie,” a Canadian $2 coin.)

Me: “There you go, ma’am. Enjoy the rest of your day!”

Customer: *holding up toonie* “Um, what is this?”

Me: “That’s a two dollar coin, ma’am.”

Customer: “But what am I supposed to do with it?”

Me: “Well, it’s legal tender in all of Canada. So, er, buy stuff with it?”

(The customer is now visibly agitated.)

Customer: “Well, I’m leaving tomorrow!”

Me: *becomes forcefully polite* “Oh, how are you getting home? By airplane?”

Customer: “Yes!”

Me: “Well, then, you can buy yourself a coffee at the airport! Have a nice day!”

(We frequently get customers who are confused by Canadian currency. They either demand to be given American change, or assume the currency is actually some sort of token that’s only valid on the boardwalk.)

Related:
Loonie Over A Toonie, Part 5
Loonie Over A Toonie, Part 4
Loonie Over A Toonie, Part 3

An Orchestra Of Confusion

, , , , , | Right | August 9, 2018

(Our theatre has one auditorium, [Hall], with two levels: orchestra and balcony. When taking tickets, I routinely have these conversations with patrons:)

Me: “Okay, you’re upstairs in the balcony, nearest—”

Patron: “WE ARE NOT IN THE BALCONY! WE ARE IN [HALL]!”

Me: *politely* “Yes, the balcony section of [Hall].”

Patron: *snatches ticket back and storms up the stairs*

(Another example:)

Patron: *rushing up in a panic* “The sign says ‘orchestra’ above the door to the theatre! We don’t want to watch the orchestra; we want to see the play! We paid to see the play!”

Me: *politely* “Yes, you will be able to see the play. Your seats are simply on the first level of the auditorium.”

Patron: “Oh. But if the orchestra blocks our view, can we get a refund?”

Me: *picking my battles* “This play doesn’t have an orchestra. I’m sure you’ll be fine, but please let the staff know if there are any problems.”

(Another example: seeing, “ORCH,” short for “orchestra,” on their ticket, a patron asks, completely serious:)

Patron: “Does ‘orch’ mean there’s an orchard in there?”

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