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Because All The Food Is Levitated Until It’s On The Shelves

, , , , , , | Right | November 3, 2021

I’m cashiering in the speedy checkout line when a customer comes up; I’ve dealt with this particular troublesome customer before. As he begins to approach me, he begins his spiel.

Customer: “Do not touch my groceries!”

Me: “Okay, sir, that’s all good. I’ll be over here.”

Customer: “I know it’s all good. I’ve been coming here since before you were born! I know that manager here, named Maurizio.”

There hasn’t been a manager named anything close to that in this building for at least the last ten years.

Customer: *Still blabbering on* “You see, you touch everything everyone else has, so you’ll obviously have germs on your hands. And because of that, you will give me germs, so I don’t let you touch my items.”

Me: “I’m over here and I will not touch your items. I already heard this speech last time. I will keep my distance.”

He has frustratingly stacked all his items so I can’t count them and check if it’s all been properly scanned.

Me: “Okay, sir, I just need to be able to count the items. I promise I won’t touch them, though. Please place them in the cart and I’ll count them as you go.”

Customer: “Can you just do your f****** job? I’ve had a hard, stressful day since you employees are so rude and bloody uncompetent!”

Yes, he said, “Uncompetent.”

Me: “I’m sorry you feel that way. We count every order to ensure that it has been scanned properly, no exceptions. One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight! That’s everything. Swipe or insert.”

He tried to interrupt me whilst he placed the groceries back in his cart. I counted his items, specifically speaking over him.

It’s flabbergasting that people don’t realize that other humans — the stockers and merchandisers — are who place every item in the store. We are never the first person to touch anything we buy.

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Tell us about a customer that lied or scammed to get what they wanted.

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