Me: “Thank you for calling [Call Center]. How can I help you?”
Caller: “How far are you from Las Vegas?”
Me: “233 miles.”
Caller: “So that’s about what, an hour, hour and a half?”
Me: “Only if you drive about 230 miles an hour.”
This story is part of our 3rd Terrible At Geography roundup!
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Me: “Thanks for calling [Company]. How can I help you?”
Caller: “Hi, I need directions.”
Me: “Ok, where are you right now?”
Caller: “Highway One.”
Me: “Are you heading north or south?”
Caller: “South.”
Me: “Okay, so after the highway turns away from the ocean…”
Caller: “Oh, I’m nowhere near the ocean.”
Me: “Wait, you’re heading south, right?”
Caller: “Yes, that’s what I just said!”
Me: “What city are you in?”
Caller: *names a city that’s about 30 miles south of where our place is*
Me: “Oh, that’s actually south of us.”
Caller: “I know that! Don’t talk to me like I’m a moron. I’m south of where you are, so I can only take the highway south to get to you!”
Me: “Well, then, we’ll see you here once you’ve circumnavigated the globe!”
This story is part of our 3rd Terrible At Geography roundup! This is the last story in the roundup, but we have plenty of others you might enjoy!
10 Stories About Lost Customers Who Are Terrible With Directions
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(Note: We are two blocks away from the beach.)
Customer: “Your lanes are crooked.”
Me: “Sir, I assure you they are not crooked; we have lane inspectors that come in every eight weeks and check for that kind of thing.”
Customer: “No! MY LANE IS CROOKED! Every time I bowl, the ball goes to the right!”
Me: *glancing at the clock* “Well, you know, it’s about 1:30. The tide is coming in.”
Customer: “That has an effect on it?”
Me: “Oh, yeah. I mean, we’re only a few blocks from the beach…”
Customer: “Huh… well, I guess I’ll try to bowl more towards the left, then…”
Me: “Thank you for calling [Store] at Santana Row. How may I help you?”
Customer: “Your stores are having midnight releases for ‘World of Warcraft: Wrath of the Lich King,’ right?”
Me: “Yes, certain locations are going to be open, but our store–”
Customer: *interrupting* “It’s already midnight on the East Coast; you can’t you sell them now?”
Me: “Uhh… unfortunately not.”
Customer: “BUT WHY?! IT’S MIDNIGHT IN THE EAST COAST!”
Me: “Well, it’s not midnight here, so, NO, we can’t sell it.”
Customer: “But people will be leveling up before me! AGHHH! This is bull-s***!”
Me: “Either way, our location isn’t going to be open for the midnight release. The closest location that will be open for the midnight release is 45 minutes away.”
Customer: “So if I go there, they should be selling them?!”
Me: “Probably not. They’re still on Pacific Standard Time.”
Customer: “What should I do then?! Everyone on the East Coast will have a head start!”
Me: “Maybe you should move to the East Coast.”
Customer: “What time are you closing?”
Me: “10:00 pm.”
Customer: “I’m coming right now!”
Me: “Okay…?”
Me: “Good evening! You have reached [Campground]. How can I help?”
Customer: “Excuse me, miss, but will I need my parka? I hear it’s only 28 degrees up there today.”
Me: “I wouldn’t imagine so. It’s hot and sunny outside. Everyone here is wearing shorts and t-shirts.”
Customer: “Are you crazy?! It’s 28 degrees!”
Me: “Sir, that’s in degrees Celsius.”
Customer: “What do you mean Celsius? Is that like the number on the thermometer? Are your thermometers smaller in Canada? Is that why it’s 28?”
Me: *gives up* “Yes. Have a great night.”
This story is part of the fourth Geography roundup!
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