Will Not Be Host To Your Charges

, , , , | Right | November 17, 2017

(I work at a bowling alley, hosting children’s birthday parties. The parents of this party have come up to pay, and are separating the party package into each part, rather than buying the full package.)

Cashier: “The total cost of your party, including the shoe hire, one game of bowling, five tokens per guest, and party host comes to [total].”

Mum: “What was that last part?”

Cashier: The party host, [My Name], is part of the package. They help organise the party, and part of each package goes towards their pay.”

Mum: *grumbles but pays, but later returns to her husband and explains the payment* “And we had to pay for the party host, too!”

Dad: “Why would we pay for her?”

(The kicker? A party host costs $10 out of a $200+ package. Parents, if you would like to take care of your kids for $10, please, be my guest.)

When Losing Is Winning

| England, UK | Related | January 25, 2017

(We take our daughter out for bowling for her birthday; my wife invites her sister and her husband (my brother in law) with us. Despite my daughter being only five he is desperately trying to win, moaning about every miss, and generally being unpleasant. We move on to the arcade games. My daughter sits on my knee and he joins on the next chair, he wins the first race and starts jumping around celebrating. In an amazing act of maturity she turns to me and says:)

Daughter: “It’s okay, Daddy. I don’t mind not winning every time.”

Me: “Well done, that is very grown up. Hey, let’s have one more go.” *to my brother-in-law* “Hey [Brother-In-Law]! Rematch!”

(Again we start the race. This time I put one hand on the wheel and go for broke; every shot is reserved for him. I smash him into walls and we win by a massive length.)

Brother-In-Law: “That’s not fair.”

Me: “It’s a game.”

Brother-In-Law: “But you hit me into the wall.”

Daughter: “It’s okay, [Brother-In-Law]. You don’t have to win every time.”

(He sulked for the rest of the day.)

A Tall Drink Is A Tall Order

| Mexico City, Mexico | Working | November 15, 2016

(We are on a company event with clients and have several bowling lanes, with drink service and snacks. I am pregnant at the time…)

Me: “Can I have a soda, please?”

Server: “Hmmm, we don’t have sodas; we only have drinks.” *he’s referring to alcoholic drinks*

Me: “Really? Do you have Cuba Libre? Well, I’ll have a virgin Cuba Libre.”

Server: “Oh… so… Okay, I get it. Sorry.”

Balling Alley

| LA, USA | Related | October 8, 2016

(I am bowling with the kids I babysit, who are in a league with a bunch of other kids. I overhear this:)

Daughter: “Dad, this would be much easier if I had two balls!”

Dad: “If you had two balls, I’d have a son.”

The Kind You Meet Down A Dark Bowling Alley

| San Francisco, CA, USA | Right | March 11, 2016

(My coworker, who is in high school and only on his third shift, and I close the alley at 10 and spend the next hour cleaning and closing up. At 11 pm, we lock the doors and start chatting about the night, when a car pulls up.)

Customer: “Are you guys closed?”

Me: “Yes, ma’am, we closed at 10 tonight.”

Customer: “Well, we want to bowl.”

(Both people from the car are now out and walking towards the door. Coworker and I are now next to our cars, getting ready to leave.)

Me: “Well, we’re closed now but will open again tomorrow at 10 am.”

Customer: “No, we want to bowl now. Get back in there and let us bowl.”

Me: “I’m sorry, but we can’t. All the machines are off, the computers are shut down, and the doors are locked. If you come back tomorrow, we are open until midnight.”

Customer: “Listen, b****, you aren’t getting it. You are going to open the f*** back up and let us in! We came here to f****** bowl and we are going to f****** bowl.”

Me: “Ma’am, I’m sorry but we are CLOSED. We are currently going home so no, you are not bowling tonight. Please, just come back tomorrow and you’ll be able to.”

(This entire time, the customer’s friend has been staring at us, obviously getting angrier and angrier with every word. He has now moved so he is blocking my car door, so I cannot get in and he grabs my arm.)

Customer’s Friend: “OPEN THE F****** DOORS RIGHT NOW, YOU STUPID LITTLE W****! I DON’T CARE IF YOU’RE CLOSED. WE CAME HERE TO BOWL AND YOU ARE GOING TO LET US F****** BOWL. DO YOUR JOB YOU LAZY PIECE OF S*** OR I WILL F****** MAKE YOU!”

(While the customers were busy berating us, they did not see the police officer who patrols our parking lot every night pull in and walk up behind them.)

Cop: “Let go of the girl’s arm and put your hands up NOW!”

(He arrested them both for being drunk in public and the friend for assault. We had to give statements and meet with the cops and management the next day to tell what happened and give them the security footage. We assured my coworker that this was a first time incident but I was still pretty surprised he came back!)

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