Well, They Got One Thing Right

, | Gresham, OR, USA | Working | September 14, 2016

(I pull up to the drive-thru to grab a soda and a snack after a stressful afternoon.)

Me: “Hi, can I get a large Diet [Soda] with lemon, no ice, please.”

Employee: “Do you want the lemon flavoring or a slice of lemon?”

Me: “Lemon flavoring, please.”

Employee: “Okay, so that was a large [Soda], with lemon, not Diet, right?”

Me: “Um, no. A large Diet [Soda], with lemon flavoring, no ice, please.”

Employee: “Okay. A large… Diet [Soda] with lemon, anything else?”

Me: “No ice in the drink, please, and a large french fry.”

Employee: “Okay. I’ll have that at the window.”

(I pull up and we have the cash exchange, and she hands me a bag of fries and my drink.)

Employee: “Oh, wait. I gave you [Soda], not Diet.”

(I try to return the drink to her.)

Employee: “Do you want to just, like, keep it?”

Me: “Umm, sure.” *even though I hate regular [Soda]*

Employee: *as she is passing the new drink out the window* “Here’s your large DIET [Soda] with lemon.”

Me: *noticing it has ice in it* “Um, it has ice. It was supposed to be no ice.”

Employee: *smiling proudly* “Yeah, but it’s DIET.”

Me: “But it was supposed to be no ice.”

Employee: *blank stare*

Common Sense On A Diet

, | Chicago, IL, USA | Right | September 14, 2016

(A few friends and I are in the car driving home from the city. We pull into [Fast Food Restaurant]. I pull up far enough for my friend in the back seat to order.)

Friend: “I’ll like a number five with no pickles and a [Soda #1], a number seven with a [Soda #2], two large fries, and a diet water.”

Person Taking Order:  “What was that last part?”

Friend: “Two large fries and a diet water.”

Person Taking Order:  “One moment, please.”

(The person taking the order forgets to mute his headset. We hear him asking another coworker if they carry diet water. His coworker starts laughing hysterically.)

Person Taking Order:  “Please pull up to the window”

(I pulled up to the window to see that the person that took the order was bright red and highly embarrassed for not realizing what he asked his coworker for. His coworker was still laughing hysterically and struggling to stand back up in the background. I tried my best not to laugh even though everyone in the car was in tears from laughing so much.)

Plainly Not Explaining Plainly Enough

, | UK | Working | September 12, 2016

(I am in a well-known burger chain restaurant ordering a take-out meal.)

Me: “A quarter-pounder with cheese medium meal, with fries and [Soda], and can the burger be plain, please?”

Cashier: “Do you want cheese on that?”

Me: “Yes, but nothing else, plain with just cheese.”

Cashier: “Would you like the meal?”

Me: “Yes, medium meal with fries and [Soda].”

Cashier: “What side would you like?”

Me: “Fries. And [Soda].”

Cashier: “Drink?”

Me: “[Soda]!”

Cashier: “Okay. So that’s a quarter-pounder with cheese, fries and a [Soda].”

Me: Please make sure the burger is plain, no ketchup or anything else.”

Cashier: “Right, plain. You should have said.” *to the cooks* “That order I just did for a quarter-pounder needs to be PLAIN.” *to me* “That will be just a few minutes.”

(Five minutes later she handed me my meal. I had large fries, a plain quarter-pounder with just meat, and a quarter-pounder with cheese and all toppings. Well, she tried.)

I Think We Know Where That Vodka Went

| Hattiesburg, MS, USA | Right | September 12, 2016

(I work in a popular fast food restaurant and often get requests to throw trash away when I’m working the drive-thru. It’s against company policy for me to take trash, and I always let the customer know this. They’re generally polite about it, but not always. I’m working the second window, where we hand out the food and I open the window for a woman who has a friend in the back seat.)

Me: “Hello, ma’am, here’s your [Order]!”

Customer: “Hey, hey, hey, can you throw this away for me?!”

Me: Um, I—”

Customer: *attempts to hand me two enormous, empty vodka bottles*

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, I can’t take that.”

Customer: “Why not?!”

Me: “It’s against policy for me to take trash from customers.”

Customer: “Bull-s***! That’s bad customer service! You’d better f****** take this, you b****!”

(I watch in shock as she continues to berate me, while her friend tries to reason with her. Eventually I turn to a coworker, who quietly tells me to shut the window. I do so in complete silence, and right after I do so, the friend flags me down.)

Me: *opening the window as little as possible* “Yes…?”

Friend: *over the continued bellowing of the customer* “Yeah, I need ketchup.”

(I gave her some and they drove away. However, they left the bottles right in the drive-thru where another car could hit them!)

How To Order Disorder

| England, UK | Working | September 9, 2016

(After a rough night and only a few hours sleep I decide to pick up a snack from a fast food chain at lunch, and order a box of fries and chicken bits. I then discover they’ve implemented this new system where you are handed a number, when it’s called you show your receipt and get your food. For this relatively small restaurant this is surprising as it’s only really efficient in big busy chains. I am handed my number and step to the side. A few moments later a box is dropped in from the kitchen, which I assume is mine, but before I can move a second server picks it up and sets it in front of someone who has just walked into the restaurant and up to the counter, offering him condiments and putting in a sachet of barbecue sauce.)

Server #1: *calling over* “That’s not his!”

(Again I assume it is mine, as it’s not busy and it’s a simple order, so I go to step forward until.)

Server #2: “Taih-un taitair? Taihun taitair?”

(I stand there bewildered for a few seconds as she repeats the phrase, until I realise she’s calling the number on my receipt ‘3133’ – finally I walk up and receive my order.)

Server #2: *in perfect English* “Sorry, he stepped forward so I assumed it was his.”

(I walked out a bit dazed by the experience.)

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