Where Can One Find The Fudgemaster?

, | USA | Working | March 3, 2017

(I’m at a fast food place with my cousins and younger brother. We all order fudge sundaes. My brother is jealous because his sundae has much less fudge than everybody else’s, so he goes to the guy who served us.)

Brother: “Can I have more fudge, please!”

Employee: *angrily* “I’m not the master of fudge!”

Two Girls, One Cup, Zero Clue

| OK, USA | Working | February 28, 2017

(We have a tradition of stopping by a fast food place for soft-serve ice cream after each fireworks show downtown. There is a fireworks show after every Friday night home game for our AAA baseball team so this happens over half a dozen times each year.)

Speaker: “Thanks for coming to [Fast Food Place]. Order when you are ready.”

Me: “Thanks. We’ll have three ice cream cones and one cup of ice cream.”

Speaker: “Three cones and one cup?”

Me: “Yes, thanks.”

Speaker: “That will be $3.27 at the first window.”

(I look at the screen because ice cream is $1 each so I know something is wrong.

The screen says: “2 cones @ $1. 1 cone @ $1.”)

Me: “Excuse me. The screen is incorrect. We ordered three cones and a cup.”

Speaker: “Three cups and a cone?”

Me: “No, three cones and a cup.”

Speaker: “Okay, that will be $3.27 at the first window.”

Me: “No, you only have 3 cones on the screen. We need three cones and a cup.”

Speaker: “Yes, three cones and a cup.”

Me: “A cup of ice cream. Three soft serve ice cream cones and one cup of soft serve ice cream. There are four items.”

Speaker: “Yeah, four cups and a cone.”

Me: “No.”

Speaker: “Three cups and a cone?”

Me: “Yes.”

Speaker: “What do you want on the ice cream?”

Me: “Not a sundae. Sundaes are $1.49. We want the soft serve cup. The cup of ice cream for $1.”

Speaker: “We don’t have that item.”

Me: “Yes. you do. It’s on your menu. It is on your register. Look beside the picture of the ice cream cone. Is there one that says cup?”

Speaker: “Oh, yeah. Cup. That will be $4.32 at the first window.”

Me: “Thanks.”

(At the second window we did get three cones and a cup of ice cream. No napkins and no spoon.)

That’s A High Tea-Total

| Chicago, IL, USA | Working | February 28, 2017

(I am in the drive-thru of the most famous fast food restaurant in the world, right around the time they’re introducing their new “cafe” to compete with coffee houses. It’s morning, but I’ve obviously missed the busy rush, as I’m the only car in the drive-thru.)

Me: “Hi, I’d like a medium hot tea with cream and two sugars and a [Breakfast Sandwich], please.”

Cashier: “Okay, your total is [total]. Please pull forward!”

(At the window:)

Me: “[Total] seems a little high… Isn’t the sandwich only [low price]?”

Cashier: “That’s right.”

Me: “How much is the tea, then?”

Cashier: “It’s [high price] but it’s part of our new [Brand] cafe line!”

(I’m late for work so I decide not to argue and just pay her. She hands me my cup and a bag and I leave. I take a sip of my drink, and am astonished to find that it just tastes like hot water. I open the lid and guess what? It IS just hot water. I opened the bag and inside there was a tea bag, two sugar packets, a creamer packet, and a stick to stir it with. So much for [Brand] cafe… I’ll never go back.)

Not Interested In Being A Decent Human Being

, | UK | Right | February 27, 2017

(I’m behind a woman who is being served. I notice something as she takes her food and leaves.)

Me: “Miss. Miss! MISS! You left—”

Customer: *while walking away* “Not interested!”

Me: “But, miss—”

Customer: *while still walking away* “I SAID, I’M NOT INTERESTED!”

Me: “I don’t care. You’ve—”

Customer: *now at the door and finally decides to turn around* “How many times do I have to—”

(She eyes me, then the purse hanging by the strap from my finger. She opens her handbag confused and then blushes furiously.)

Me: “Get it now? Don’t care.”

(I don’t even bother to let to her walk back up to me. I just toss the purse and turn. I don’t even know if she caught it.)

Worker: “You could have just handed it to me and let her find out on her own.”

Me: “That wouldn’t exactly be the nicest thing to do.”

Worker: “Yeah, I guess your way was just as satisfying.”

Talking Bananas

| ID, USA | Working | February 25, 2017

(I often stop to get milkshakes from a Greek food drive-thru known for its shakes. It’s important to note that while the food is Greek, the employees are local, native English speakers.)

Employee: “Welcome to [Fast Food]. What can I get for you?”

Me: “I’d like a large thick vanilla shake and a large thin mint shake.”

Employee: “Okay, so that’s two large vanilla shakes, one thick and one thin?”

Me: “No, a thick vanilla and a thin mint.”

Employee: “Oh, okay, a large thick vanilla and a medium thin vanilla. Got it.”

Me: “No, only ONE vanilla. Thick. The other one is a THIN MINT shake.”

Employee: “…Banana?”

Me: “Please, just let me order at the window.”

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