The Continuing Saga Of Jane Complain
We have this one customer who comes through our drive-thru several times a week, who ALWAYS claims that we got her order wrong. We think she actually goes out of her way to f*** with us, and no matter how many times we double- or triple-check her order — we know her now — she always gets the “wrong thing” and claims the mistake is ours. It doesn’t matter what’s on her receipt; she will always claim we screwed up and refuse to move until our manager gives up and gives her more food so as not to hold up the drive-thru. (She times her visits during our busiest rushes.)
Our drive-thru has a sign saying all transactions are recorded for training and security purposes. This is true, although rarely is it used for what I decide is necessary.
I set up a computer station near the drive-thru with fast access to the camera footage, both video and audio. When our problem customer’s car comes up, I start recording the feed to a separate file on a solid-state drive that can be accessed immediately.
Customer: “I’ll have the fourteen-piece chicken nugget meal and a medium diet Coke.”
Coworker: “That’s a fourteen-piece chicken nugget meal and a medium diet Coke. Anything else, ma’am?”
Customer: “No.”
Coworker: “So, just to confirm, that’s a fourteen-piece chicken nugget meal and a medium diet Coke?”
Customer: “Jesus, yes!”
Coworker: “Okay, so a fourteen-piece chicken nugget meal and a medium diet Coke. That’s [price]. Please collect your food at the next window.”
She pulls up and I bring the food out to her. She opens the bag to inspect the contents.
Customer: “Unbelievable! This is not what I ordered! I ordered a—”
As I am hyper-prepared, I have turned the screen of my new workstation around so that she can see an HD video with crystal-clear sound immediately play back her transaction from mere moments ago.
Customer: *On playback* “—fourteen-piece chicken nugget meal and a medium diet Coke.”
Me: “That is what you ordered, correct, ma’am?”
Customer: “Well, no, I—”
I play back the video again, this time louder.
Me: “You ordered a fourteen-piece chicken nugget meal and a medium diet Coke. You confirmed three times that you ordered a fourteen-piece chicken nugget meal and a medium diet Coke. You have received, in fact, a fourteen-piece chicken nugget meal and a medium diet Coke. Thanks for eating at [Fast Food Place]!”
She stared at me with the sourest expression, but I simply stared back with my slightly psycho customer service smile, blinking precisely never.
She never came back. We feel sorry for whatever poor drive-thru inherited her, but I can’t lie: it felt glorious.
Related:
The Saga Of Jane Complain
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