Laptop Flop, Part 27

, , , , | Right | June 4, 2019

(I am working as the only computer and networking tech in my army unit. This means supporting over two hundred end users all alone. A brand new lieutenant walks into my office on a particularly busy day.)

Lieutenant: “I need a brand new laptop now!”

Me: “Excuse me, sir?”

Lieutenant: “I said I need a brand new laptop. Time: now!”

Me: “Okay, sir, what exactly is going on with the one you were issued?”

(I just issued them a laptop that morning.)

Lieutenant: “The one you gave me is too old. It doesn’t even connect to the Internet, and I need a new one to work.”

(Cue a feeling that they’re doing something stupid.)

Me: “Well, sir, give me a few minutes, as I am working on the commander’s laptop and that is my current priority.”

Lieutenant: “I DON’T GIVE A D*** IF YOU’RE WORKING ON THE PRESIDENT’S LAPTOP! I NEED A NEW ONE NOW AND THAT’S AN ORDER!”

(Deep breath.)

Me: “All right, sir. Before I can, I need to properly diagnose your system at your workstation. If you’ll show me your desk…”

(We take a short walk down the hall to another office where several officers and NCOs are working. The lieutenant shows me his laptop and I immediately find the problem. At this unit, all WiFi is disabled, so the only way to connect to the Internet is via a hard line which, in this case, is not connected to his laptop. Holding up the disconnected cable, I turn to the lieutenant.)

Me: “Sir, you need to plug this in for the Internet to work… as I explained this morning when I issued this laptop to you.”

(I dropped the cable on his desk and walk out back to my office. I could hear the other officers and NCOs laughing all the down the hall.)

Related:
Laptop Flop, Part 26
Laptop Flop, Part 25
Laptop Flop, Part 24

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