I work in customer service for Danish customers; however, it is situated in Stockholm together with Swedish customer service. A customer calls in regarding a delayed shipment. It is always sad when this happens, but it does happen.

It turns out the shipping company sent the package in the wrong direction; it is in Norway! I offer to place a replacement order to have it to her as soon as possible. She does not like this; she wants the items the same day, and as I continue to tell her that isn’t possible, the magic words are said.

Customer: “I want to speak to your manager.”

Me: “Very well. You should know my manager doesn’t speak Danish, but he can speak English.”

Customer: “Then give me his manager.”

Me: “I’m sorry, but he doesn’t speak any Scandinavian language.”

Customer: “I want your Danish manager.”

Me: “I don’t have a Danish manager.”

Customer: “Yes, you do! I have spoken to him many times! He is the top manager.”

I realize who she is talking about; he is not at the top, but it might seem that way considering he is at the top of the sales department, which is in Denmark.

Me: “Oh, perhaps you mean the sales manager? Well, he isn’t here, but I can give you his number. You should know, though, that he is not my manager.”

Customer: “Well then, I don’t want to speak with him! I want to speak to your manager!”

Me: “Very well. I’ll get him for you.”

Customer: “And he has to speak Danish!”

Me: “I’m sorry, but he can’t—”

Customer: “I WANT YOUR DANISH MANAGER!”

There is a moment of silence.

Me: “I’ll get my manager for you.”

My manager takes the phone and replies in English.

Manager: “Hello, I’m the manager. What can I help you with?” *Pauses* “I’m sorry, ma’am, I don’t understand what you are saying.” *Pauses* “Ma’am…” *Pauses* “Ma’am…” *Pauses* “You know what? [My Name] can help you much better than I can. If she can’t fix your problem, neither can I, and she can understand you.”

He hands the phone back to me.

Customer: “I said I wanted your Danish manager!”

I give her the number to the Danish sales manager, telling her he is Danish and a manager. I also ask if I should proceed with the replacement order, but she says no, so I don’t. I do, however, keep working with the shipping company to reroute the package to the right country.

The next day the sales manager contacts me regarding a customer trying to contact him because [My Name] needs to get fired. Since he has no one there by that name, he assumes she means me, and he wants to know what happened. I tell him everything in detail, as well as the status of the package.

Sales Manager: “All right, I’ll call her.”

The day after that, he calls again.

Sales Manager: “So, the customer wants her order delivered today. Can we do that?”

Me: “No, she refused a replacement order; otherwise, it would’ve been there by now. I can place one now.”

Sales Manager: “No, she wanted you fired, so we won’t do her any favours.”

This was Thursday. Next Monday, the customer calls again.

Customer: “Your manager couldn’t help me, so I was hoping you could help me with a replacement order.”

Me: “Absolutely. Let me just check on your original order first. Let’s see… Yes, it will be delivered today.”

Customer: “Really?”

Me: “Yes, I’ve had them reroute it. A replacement order would’ve been there four to five days ago, but at least now you will have the items before the end of the day.”

Customer: “Oh… Well, I’ll need to call your manager again so he won’t fire you.”

Then, she hung up and I went on about my day. My manager never got any call, so I assume she called “my Danish manager”.

I worked at a Visitor Information Centre in a popular rural tourist spot where icebergs drift close to shore throughout the summer.

A woman from the southern US is asking me questions.

Tourist: “Where do they get all the Styrofoam to make the icebergs?”

I moved and had new cable and Internet service turned on at my new place. The struggle of getting it installed is its own story for another time; this story is about trying to pay the bill.

When I first started service, I got a welcome email. It invited me to sign up for an online account. I attempted to do that, but the online system required me to provide a PIN. This PIN is printed on your bill. Obviously, I had not yet received a bill, so I could not create an online account. There was no alternate workaround.

Time goes by, and I get an email notifying me that my first bill is due. Apparently, by default, you are enrolled in paperless billing. The email invites me to pay my bill by creating an online account… which I cannot create because I’ve never received a copy of my bill.

I call customer service, and there is a $5 fee if you pay your bill through the phone system. I select the option to talk to a representative. The first thing she asks after confirming my name and address is for is the PIN printed on the top of my bill.

Me: “That’s why I’m calling; I’ve never received a bill and thus don’t have the PIN and cannot create my online account to pay my bill.”

Representative: “No problem. You can pay your bill with me, but I do need to notify you there will be a $5 convenience fee.”

Me: “I shouldn’t be penalized for never receiving a bill or a way to set up an online account.”

Representative: “You did receive an email with your bill.”

Me: “No, they emailed me a notification, but no bill is attached.”

Representative: “There is a link in the email to pay.”

Me: “Yes, and the link takes you to the website to set up an online account.”

Representative: “Yes, that’s what you need to do.”

Me: “The online system asks for the PIN number to create an account.”

Representative: “Yes, it’s printed on the top of your bill.”

Me: *Long pause* “That. I. Never. Received.”

Representative: *Long pause* “So… I can waive that $5 fee for you to pay your bill today if you would like.”

I paid my bill, and she switched me to paper billing for the next cycle. We shall see if I’m ever able to set up that online account.

Related:
PIN-Headed, Part 22
PIN-Headed, Part 21
PIN-Headed, Part 20
PIN-Headed, Part 19
PIN-Headed, Part 18

I am working at the customer service desk of a grocery store.

Customer: “So… my friend did something stupid and he’s missing his finger.”

I blink and take a moment to process what I just heard. Before I can start my response, there’s a call from one of the aisles.

Voice: “Found it!”

Customer: “Oh, never mind!”

The customer rushed off in the direction of the voice while I furiously called for my manager and possibly a cleaning crew.

I managed the service counter for years at a big box retail store. A man came to the service counter to find out if a certain item he was interested in was in stock. He was on our website looking at the item, which indicated it was out of stock. I checked on our internal devices and confirmed that it was out of stock, and in fact, it was only available online.

Having done that, I turned to answer one of the many other questions queued up for me at the counter and he went BALLISTIC.

Customer: *Shouting* “I can’t believe how incompetent everyone here is! You don’t deserve your pay!”

Me: “What else do you need help with, sir?”

Customer: “Order the item for me!”

Since he already had the item pulled up on the website on his personal device, it seemed like he was perfectly able to order it himself. At the time, we didn’t have a good option to do it for him except to talk him through how to do it on his own personal device. So, I started to talk him through that process.

Our security guard had actually wandered over, having heard the commotion, and was waiting to see if he’d be needed. The man got to the end of the process online and went to check out.

Customer: “Will it be delivered to me personally or sent to the store?”

Me: “I don’t know.”

He immediately went ballistic again about our incompetence. The security guard intervened.

Security: “Sir! What is the problem?”

Customer: *Sneering and pointing at me* “He can’t even tell me where my order will be sent!”

Security: *To me* “How can we find that information out?”

Me: *Looking the customer in the face* “Well, what did you select?”

Complete silence.

He looked down at his own device, in his own hands, on which he had made all the selections for the order himself.

Customer: “Oh. It’s coming here. All right, then.”

With that, he turned and left without even the slightest apology or acknowledgment of being in the wrong.