As Mother’s Day was coming up, I decided to order my mom flowers from a certain online florist site. I spent $87 on this cute bouquet that had a centerpiece of flowers shaped into a small white dog with roses around it, set into a watering can, with a “Happy Mother’s Day” balloon and a personalized card. I gave the company a “flexible” delivery schedule of Thursday, May fifth through Sunday, May eighth, as Mother’s Day was Sunday, to avoid the extra $15 charge for guaranteed delivery on Sunday.

Thursday came around, and at about 8:00 pm, I received a delivery confirmation email and called my mom to make sure she’d gotten the flowers. However, nothing had arrived at the house.

And so began the migraine-inducing encounter with their “live chat” helpline.

After going through the motions with the robot and telling it my order number and other details, I was connected to a live agent.

Agent #1: “Hello, [My Name]! Thank you for contacting [Florist]. My name is [Agent #1] and I will be happy to assist you. Please give me a moment to review your chat with the virtual assistant.”

I waited.

Agent #1: “Thank you for your patience. I see that you are reaching out because your order was not delivered. I sincerely apologize that your gift did not arrive as scheduled. We value your business and understand how important it is for your gift to arrive on time. Please allow me to resolve this.”

This agent then disconnected the chat with no further messages, so I opened a new chat and got [Agent #2] who sent the same first two messages, but introduced himself as [Agent #2]. He could not see the all information I’d given the previous agent, so I had to give him all the confirming details again.

Me: “Thank you. Just please do not disconnect the chat like the last agent did after sending that same message with no other explanation.”

Agent #2: “Thank you for patiently waiting, [My Name]. Please accept my apologies for what happened to your order, and I hope you will give me a chance to make this right. I’m more than willing to process redelivery at the earliest time possible at no additional cost. Since I also want to make up for the inconvenience, I will also be sending, via email, a $20 Savings Pass good for your next purchase with us.”

Agent #2: “I’m sorry, [My Name], for what happened with the last agent.”

Me: “That would be amazing, thank you.”

Agent #2: “[My Name], is it okay to deliver your gift on May 10?”

Me: “Yes, that’s fine.”

Agent #2: “I’m sorry, [My Name], there is no available delivery date.”

Where the h*** did you get May 10, then?

Me: “How can there be no available delivery date?”

Agent #2: “Your local florists are not available.”

I gave up at this point.

Me: “Fine. Can I just get a refund, then?”

After a few more minutes, they sent me the confirmation of the refund and said it would take seven to ten days for it to show on my account. Since this was a major brand that used local florists to make and deliver orders, I couldn’t even complain directly to a proper shop, just the online chat. They wouldn’t give me the name of the shop that messed up due to “confidentiality,” but really what florist is open — let alone making deliveries — at 8:00 pm? And deliveries that don’t show up nonetheless!

Now, I have two days to find flowers for my mom from a local florist/grocery store since I don’t trust that online shop not to mess it up again.

I’m being trained at my first call center job as a customer service representative. My trainer is telling me about difficult customers.

Trainer: “One irate customer disliked another representative’s answer so much that he drove across state lines to talk to her face-to-face at [Sister Call Center]. He got really aggressive about trying to talk to her, so we had to get the cops involved!”

Because of customers like that, I always lied about where I was located any time someone asked where my call center was, no matter how nice the person was.

My mom works in a customer service position that helps veterans and sometimes active-duty service members. She basically just directs them to websites, phone numbers, and resources they need to do certain things.

The funny thing is, my mom can be an entitled “the customer is always right” type (she’s the same mom from this story). She wholeheartedly believes that you should know every detail of your job and the product you sell even if it’s a part-time minimum-wage job that you’re working seasonally while still in high school.

Sometimes she isn’t a total nightmare to go places with, but sometimes it’s pretty funny when she just does not give a f*** about other people’s feelings and it’s not at the expense of some poor worker but rather another difficult person.

Mom receives a call from a man who claims to be a high-ranking officer. When she tells me this story, she doesn’t remember what his question was, but as is required, she must open a “case” for him before she can do anything, which includes receiving his first and last name and phone number in case the call gets disconnected.

Mom: “Thank you for calling [Customer Service]. How can I help you?”

Officer: “I just have a question I need you to look up for me about [subject]. I’m trying to prove something to my friend here.”

Mom: “Sure thing! I’ll have to start with your first or last name, and your phone number in case we get disconnected.”

Officer: “What? Why the h*** do you need that? I just need you to answer my question.”

Mom: “And I can very well do that for you. But I won’t be able to look anything up until I have your name and number.”

Officer: “That’s ridiculous! I just need you to look up [information] about [subject]! Why is that so hard?! You don’t need my name for that!”

Mom: “I won’t be able to—”

Officer: “Listen! I am an officer of [Military Branch]. I make more money in a week than you make in a year! You don’t need my name; you just need to tell me what I want to know!”

Mom: “I understand that, but I won’t be able to do anything without your name.”

Officer: “YOU DON’T NEED MY NAME TO LOOK SOMETHING UP FOR ME! I JUST NEED TO TELL MY FRIEND HERE THAT HE’S WRONG, BUT I DON’T HAVE THE INFORMATION ON HAND! I OUTRANK YOU; DO YOU REALIZE THAT? I CAN HAVE YOUR JOB IN MINUTES WITH A SINGLE PHONE CALL, AND—”

Cue more cursing, threats, and rank-waving. Eventually, the guy stops to take a breath.

Mom: “…Are you done?”

Officer: “YES!”

Mom: *Cheerfully* “Okay, I’m just gonna need your name first.”

Officer: *Click*

It is here my mom reveals to me that her training supervisor was listening on another line, considering this was just her second day on the job.

Supervisor: “Wow, you’re a lot better than I am… I would’ve hung up on him.”

Mom: “I thought it was funny.”

I’m not sure if this job will humble my mom or force her to live up to her own expectations of customer service. I guess we’ll see.

Related:
Mom On A Cold Tin Roof

I work as a supervisor for a company that provides television service in the United States and a few other countries. The company that owns mine also owns a few others, including a “sister” cell phone service company that we have no direct communication with.

Today is a busy day, so all hands are on deck. This means that supervisors are taking calls until the queue is knocked out. On my third call, I encounter a woman who angrily begins by saying:

Customer: “My cable bill is too high! I want to sign up for cell phone service so I can get a discount!” 

We have no direct connection with the cell phone provider, nor have we ever offered a discount on our services for customers who use said provider.

I ask her to clarify, and she snaps back:

Customer: “I want to get a cell phone through [TV Provider] so I can save on my bill!” 

Since some television providers do offer cell phone service, I first verify that she is, in fact, our customer.

Me: “Ma’am, we don’t offer cellular service, but I can give you the number for [“Sister” Cell Phone Provider].”

Customer: “No, I don’t want cellular service from them; I want it from you so that I can save on my television service!”

I advise her again that we do not offer any phone service directly, but I add that if she wants to lower her bill, I can go over her service with her and see if there are any savings to be had. 

She then starts yelling, claiming that we do offer cellular service and that she wants to talk to a supervisor.

Me: “I am a supervisor, ma’am. I’m willing to dial the number for [“Sister” Cell Phone Provider] to save you time.”

She becomes outraged.

Customer: “You’re lying! I’ll just call back; someone else will give me cell phone service. You’re losing a sale because you’re stubborn!”

Me: “You are welcome to call back anytime and we will always try to help, but, again, we do not offer cell phone service.”

At this, she screamed at me and ended the call. 

I sighed, made notes on her account about the encounter, and went on to my next call. I REALLY hope that no one else has to deal with her level of stubbornness anytime soon.

Our utility company has a policy where we can only add someone’s name to an existing account if they happen to be the customer’s spouse; otherwise, they need to set up a new account.

A customer with us calls (and sent an email to us a few days back) asking what needs to be done to put his son’s name on the account so that he can obtain proof of residency. When I relay our policy (and have to do so several times over so he’ll get the hint), I get this.

Caller: “What if I’m his spouse?”

Me: “…Excuse me?”

Caller: “What if I’m his spouse? Can you put his name on now?”

Me: “Uh… didn’t you tell me he was your son?”

Caller: “What if I lied? Can you put him in now?”

For obvious reasons, I did not put in his request; I instead told him to have his son call us to set up service and we could take it from there.