I work as a cashier in a convenience store and am helping a woman who is buying some magazines.
Customer: Can I just ask, how old are you?
Me: I’m 21.
Customer: (very surprised) Oh, really?! I didn’t think THAT!
Me: How old did ypu think I was?
Customer: Oh, I don’t know, 22 maybe!

(My mother can definitely be described as cheeky, but she does have her heart in the right place, and she hates bullying and strong people picking on the weak. This happens in her late teens, in the early 80s. My mother sits on a bus, close to an older woman with her leg in a cast. A younger boy — around three or four years old — and his mother step onto the bus and take the seats opposite the older women. The young boy starts kicking his legs, each kick lands on the cast of the older women.)

Old Woman: “Dear, could you please stop doing that? Do you see this cast? I fell and hurt my foot, so when you kick the cast, it hurts.”

(The little boy ignores the woman and keeps kicking.)

Old Woman: *turns to the mother* “Excuse me. Can you make your child stop kicking my cast?”

Boy’s Mother: *turns her nose in the air* “Absolutely not! I believe in a free upbringing.”

(My mother’s blood starts to boil at this point. As the bus is closing in on her stop, she gets up from her seat and taps on the shoulder of the boy’s mother. She looks up, and my mother spits her right in the face.)

My Mother: “I could not help myself… I was raised with a free upbringing.”

(And before anyone had time to react, she got off of the bus.)

(I work the front desk in a hotel located just outside of Stockholm. Our neighbouring hotel is of the same company and located just across the bay from us — you can easily see it from front desk — next to the ferries. During Christmas and New Year, they close down because of the low season and we answer their phone. This, of course, leads to many confusing conversations.)

Me: *answering the phone* “Hello, and welcome to [Hotel Brand and Location]. How can I help you?”

Caller: “Yes, hello! I am about to board the ferry and I think I’ve forgotten to lock my car in the parking lot!”

Me: “Okay? I’m not sure what you would like me to do about that.”

Caller: “Well, the check-in for the ferry closes in five minutes so I don’t have time to go check my car, and I’ll be gone for five days!”

Me: “Yes, okay, well, I assume you meant to call [Neighbour Hotel], as they are located next to the ferries? Is that right?”

Caller: “Yes. Why? Who are you?”

Me: “Well, the hotel is closed during Christmas and New Year and won’t open until the 5th of January, so I am afraid there is no one at the hotel. I am at [Hotel on the other side of the bay].”

Caller: “BUT MY CAR!”

Me: “I really can’t help you, sir. I am nowhere near your car, and I am also alone at my hotel so I couldn’t leave if I was.”

Caller: “Someone has to check my car!”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but there is nothing I can do to help you with your car, and I highly doubt that, had the hotel been open, they would have been able to do much, either, as they can’t get into the ferries’ parking lot without authorization.”

Caller: “BUT MY CAR! I’ll be gone for five days!”

Me: “Well, maybe you should talk to the check-in clerks at the ferry instead of arguing with me if time is of the essence.”

Caller: “This is horrible service!”

Me: “Well, you haven’t actually paid for any service with our company, so…”

Caller: “MY CAR!”

Me: “I’m going to hang up now. Good luck!”

(He kept screeching as I hung up the phone. Maybe next time remember to lock your car?)

(I’m Canadian, currently doing a study-abroad semester in Stockholm. It’s just before Christmas, when I’m set to head home, so I’m browsing a well-known department store for some gifts. I’m looking at a display of scarves when an elderly woman comes up to me with an armful of items.)

Customer: *speaks Swedish*

(Although I’ve tried to learn the basics, I’m nowhere near fluent in Swedish and have no idea what this lady is saying.)

Me: “Um… Jag kan inte… pratar svenska. Um… sorry.” *I can’t speak Swedish.*

Customer: *scoffs and rolls her eyes, and keeps speaking Swedish*

Me: “I don’t speak Swedish. Um, I’m sorry. I can’t help you.”

(I turn back to the display of scarves, but she forcefully grabs my arm and tries to pull me back. I can’t stand random people touching me, so I give her hand a brisk slap.)

Me: “Please don’t touch me! I have no idea what you’re saying and I can’t help you. I’m very sorry! Now, please leave me alone!”

Customer: *starts screaming at me in Swedish*

(Her expression makes her look like she wants to claw my eyes out. Thankfully, an employee comes over and tries to defuse the situation. It doesn’t help much, and eventually, the lady has to be escorted out by security.)

Employee: “I’m so sorry. She thought you worked here and was trying to get you to give her a discount. She’s actually done this to so many people that she’s not supposed to be in the store, but we have so many entrances it’s hard to keep her out. But you’re American, right? No one from here would’ve stood up for themselves and caused a scene.” *pauses* “Not that it’s a bad thing. We Swedes just don’t like drawing attention to ourselves.”

Me: “Canadian, actually. But thanks, I think?”

Employee: “Aha! Well, that explains how you can stand up for yourself and be polite at the same time. Good for you!”

(He went back to work, and I was left there thinking, “What the heck just happened?”)

(I work as a sales rep for a large online retailer of IT prodcts. We sell mostly to other business. This call comes in)

Me: [Company Name], [My Name].

Customer: Hi, this is [Name], from [Company], I have a questions about a computer.

Me: Okay, let’s take a look, what’s the articlenumber for the computer? (customer gives me the articlenumber) Okay, great, I have it here, what was your question?

Customer: Yeah, what does it mean when it says that the computer comes pre-installed with Windows 7? Like, will it look like Windows 7? Because I don’t like Windows 8.

Me: Well, it means that the computer comes pre-installed with Windows 7 as the operating system.

Customer: Oh great! Thank you, that’s all I wanted to know! Bye! (hangs up).

Me (to the group I’m sitting with): Guys, you are not gonna belive my first call of the day!