(I’ve stopped by a local 24/7 store. There are a couple of people in line in front of me. A woman walks up behind me.)

Woman: *clears her throat and coughs* “I left my wallet in the car.”  

(I don’t react because I really don’t think she is talking to me.)

Woman: *nudges me with her arm* “Did you hear me? I left my wallet in the car.”

Me: “Okay?”

(I get to the counter and she steps up next to me, drops her stuff, and tells the clerk:)

Woman: “I need [Brand] cigarettes.” 

(The clerk rings up my stuff, then swipes the cigarettes.)

Clerk: “May I see your ID, sir?”

Me: “Um, those aren’t mine.”

(The clerk looks from me to the woman and back.)

Woman: “Oh, it’s okay. I told you, my wallet’s in the car.”

Me: “And?” *shaking my head at the clerk* “Take them off, please. I’m not buying cigarettes.”

Woman: “But… I told you…”

Me: “And I would assume that’s your car parked right outside the door. I’m sure they’ll hold everything for you.”

Woman: “Look, my money is right outside in the car.”

Me: “No.”

Woman: “No?! What do you mean, no? You’re calling me a liar?”

Me: “Ma’am, I don’t know you and am not calling you anything. ‘No’ means I won’t loan you any money.”

Woman: “Not even just until I walk to my car? I can’t believe you!”

Me: “And I can’t believe you think that I’m just going to buy you cigarettes with my own money when your car is literally right outside the door with the wallet inside.”

Woman: “You seriously won’t save me a few steps when you know I can pay you back in just a few minutes?”

(I don’t know that, actually. She could be lying about her wallet, and then I’d be out the money. This lady has gall to pull a scam like this. Before I can say this, a customer who came in behind her speaks up.)

Other Customer: “Look, lady, either walk out and get your money, or walk out and get in your car. Either way, walk out.”

Clerk: “Ma’am, if you want cigarettes, I need to see your ID, as well.”

(The woman huffed loudly and stormed out. I could see her sitting in her vehicle glaring at me as I left. She was making no move to grab her supposed wallet, so I suspect I dodged a pretty obvious bullet. I called the non-emergency police number and let them know that this lady was lurking around the store trying to get people to buy cigarettes with no ID, and they reassured me that they’d send a patrol car around. I just found it kind of amazing that she was pulling a pretty obvious scam right in front of a store clerk, and it never occurred to her that her lack of an ID would trip her up, anyway.)

(I’m the second customer in line at a convenience store, and it’s the day after Halloween. A dad and his daughter — about eight and very pretty — are checking out in front of me. The clerk asks the daughter the exact same thing I was thinking:)

Clerk: “What did you dress up as for Halloween? I bet you were a princess!’”

Daughter: *emphatically and sternly* “NO! I was a PIRATE!”

(We are all going to be working for that girl one day.)

This story is part of our Princess roundup!

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(I work at a convenience store which has a carwash. We offer unlimited carwashes at a set price for the month where you can go to any of our chain stores and go through the wash as many times as you want. There’s a tag that is sensed at each carwash. A woman in her 20s comes to my register.)

Customer: ”I have a tag that is in a bad place on my car, and at other stores, as long as I show them, they give me a carwash.”

Me: “You have a tag that’s in a bad place? How so?”

Customer: “It’s in a hard-to-read place. As long as I show the other stores that I have a tag, they just give me a carwash.”

Me: “They give you a free car wash?”

Customer: “Yeah, I think it’s part of the ‘free carwash for a year’ deal.”

Me: *calls my shift leader* “Have you heard of ‘free carwash for a year’ deal?”

Shift Leader: “No.”

Customer: “I can show you the tag on my car and that it’s in a bad place.”

(I oblige, though I’m not willing to give a free carwash simply because her tag is in a bad place, which is her fault, not ours, and I really doubt any store is giving ‘free carwashes for a year,’ but if they are, the customer is welcome to keep getting her free washes there.)

Customer: “See, it’s in a bad place. Like I said, the other store always gives me a carwash when I show them that this is in a bad place that the sensor can’t read.”

(Sure enough, the tag is in a hard-to-sense area, but again, that’s not my problem. It’s not even where were trained to place them, so I’m not sympathetic.)

Me: “I see that, but just because it’s in a bad place it doesn’t require me to give you a free code. That other store may give you free carwashes as part of a ‘free carwash for a year’ deal, but I can’t give you a free one. You’ll have to pay for it.”

Customer: *defeated, buys our cheapest carwash*

(The girl was really sweet through her attempted scam. I later realized that she was indeed trying to scam us. We get a lot of issues with customers trying to get their money back or free carwashes, but none that have claimed that their poorly-placed tag has actually gotten them free washes.)

(I walk down to the corner store to pick up a few things. While I am browsing, a young woman enters the store.)

Customer: *to cashier* “Do you have biscuits? Like, dough-in-a-can type biscuits?”

Cashier: “No, we don’t, sorry.”

(The woman pauses to look at the glass case at the front counter containing various smoking paraphernalia.) 

Customer: “You do have bongs, though… but I need biscuits!”

(She then exited the store.)

Customer: *holding out a dollar coin* “How much is this worth?”

Me: *confused* “Uh, one dollar.”

Customer: “Ugh!” *pays with the coin and other cash, and leaves*

Me: “D***! This is an actual silver dollar!” *quickly exchanges my own dollar bill for it*

Store Owner: “D*** it, I wanted to buy it out of the register! That’s worth like $20.”

Me: “Too late!”

(Convenience stores are not pawnshops; money is only worth more than face value to collectors, and most 18-year-olds aren’t going to be able to tell you what a rare coin is worth. Upon researching, it’s actually worth at least $150 based on its condition!)