My Family, And Other Animals, Part 12

, , , , , | Related | May 17, 2019

(My family lives in several different countries, and one of the ways we keep in touch is through a messaging group where we send each other pictures. It can get pretty goofy, but this day is one of the best. Keep in mind this is all over chat:)

Me: *sends pictures from zoo*

Brother: “Wow! Did you just get back from the zoo? I went today, too!” *sends pictures from different zoo*

Sister: “We felt a bit left out, so we decided to stop by our local zoo, too!”

(She sent us pictures of my niece and nephew dressed in hooded dinosaur onesies with a sign on the crib that said, “Please don’t feed the animals.” Gotta love family!)

My Family And Other Animals, Part 11
My Family And Other Animals, Part 10
My Family And Other Animals, Part 9

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Talking Complete Bull-imia

, , , | Healthy | May 3, 2019

(I have recently changed my dentist. I’m 30 and I have never had any cavities before, but I go to a consult since I notice something weird in two of my teeth. I suspect they are cavities but they don’t hurt or bother me at all, and I don’t know what cavities look like.)

Dentist: “You have four cavities! What a disaster!”

Me: “Well, it’s the first four in 30 years.”

Dentist: “This looks so bad! We need x-rays!”

Me: “I’d have come earlier but they didn’t hurt and they look very small, so it took me a while to notice them.”

Dentist: “Four cavities! This is insane! Are you bulimic?”

Me: “No.”

Dentist: “You sure? It clearly looks like bulimia.”

Me: “I’m not bulimic. I’m not alcohol abusive, either; I barely ever throw up.”

(The doctor doesn’t believe me, and sends me to do the x-rays. I come back to have the cavities fixed.)

Dentist: “Are you sure you don’t throw up? This amount of cavities is not normal!”

(By then, I feel filthy. I don’t throw up and I brush my teeth, but the big deal she is making makes it look like I am her worst case in years. She fixes my cavities, which are all very superficial, and I go home pretty worried and thinking about buying a different mouthwash, toothbrush, and toothpaste. My boyfriend is having some friends over and I tell them what happened.)

Friend: “Four in your life? I get four cavities removed every time I go to the dentist!”

Boyfriend: “You can’t see them because they are in the back of my mouth, but I’ve had several big fixes.”

(The following day, two of my four fixes fall out while I’m brushing my teeth. I go to have them re-fixed. The dentist keeps telling me to suck it up, still implying I have an eating disorder. The remaining two fall out within a month, but this time I go to a different professional. I’m already expecting to get yelled at for my poor dental condition.)

Dentist #2: “Hi, darling! You look good! Let’s fix these, shall we?”

(She is now my usual dentist.)

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Mothers Say, “No,” But Can’t Hear, “No”

, , , , | Related | April 4, 2019

(My mom recently mentioned that she and my dad would love to spend time with me and my new boyfriend. I’m totally fine with that, especially because they’ve known him for years — since we were just friends — and absolutely love him. There’s just one problem: my parents live in another country, 4,000 miles away. This means asking my boyfriend of three months to take a nine-hour flight with me, and even though the trip wouldn’t be until July — it’s currently March — it’s a really intense invitation three months into the relationship! I’ve been hesitant, but today I am video-calling my mom. She’s a very direct and a very excitable person, so this is how the conversation starts.)

Mom: “You and [Boyfriend] should come to visit.”

Me: “Umm…” *changes topic*

(A few minutes later:)

Mom: “Look at the furniture!” *turns the camera around*

Me: “Wow! I love your new house; it’s beautiful! I’m really excited to see it at some point!”

Mom: “See? You and [Boyfriend] should come to visit!”

Me: “Subtle, Mom. You really worked that into the conversation well.”

Mom: *giggles* “I know… So, are you coming to visit!?”

Me: “Mom!”

(Eventually, I said yes. If we’re still together in five months, we’re traveling to Miami to see them.)

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Unfiltered Story #142195

, | Unfiltered | March 3, 2019

(I’m a costumer in this story, and also an awkward teenager, out shopping with my mother. We are second in line and there are a few people behind us. My mother realizes she forgot some items and tells me to let the next person first if she is not back when the current client is done paying. This happens,  I tell the cashier and I stand aside until my mother comes back. She does. The person we let before us finishes. A lady tries to go before us)

Me: Uh, sorry, but actually we are next. (I explain the situation)
Lady: Well, I was next.
Me: Yeah, but we were actually here first and I was just waiting for my mom and –
Lady: I was next.
Me: (tries to explain again)
Lady: (keeps on complaining)
(Suddenly, a costumer on the  other line turns to the lady, pointing in front of him)
Costumer: (emphatically, I’m still not sure whether he was trying to be condescending) Ma’am, PLEASE, get in line.
(the lady changes to the other line, saying:)
Lady: Well, at least SOME people still have manners.
(We proceed to pay for our items. When we left, costumer right before the lady still hadn’t finished paying, so she actually had to wait more)

This Punishment Is More Their Cup Of Tea

, , , , , | Learning | January 31, 2019

I’m a high school teacher and work in a school that is in a very problematic part of the city. That’s why we have classes until late, to prevent the students from spending too much time alone in their houses or the street.

There is a class I have to give that starts at 5:00 pm, so everyone, including me, is very tired.

One day, three students arrive late. They are supposed to get a note to the parents and a punishment because of this, but I know that they didn’t do it on purpose, so instead, I let them come into the class and ask them to sing and dance the “I’m A Little Teapot” song.

At first, they refuse, saying that they are embarrassed, but I ask if they wanted the normal punishment, so they start to sing and dance.

Since that day, not a single student has arrived late to my class.

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