The Baby Bus Blues

, , , , | Friendly | October 25, 2018

(I am expecting my first baby; my due date is less than a month away. Because of a mechanical problem I have no car, so I go to the doctor on the bus. It isn’t a rush hour so I get a seat, but they are full by the next stop. A few stops after I got on, a very old man gets on the bus. He clearly has problems getting on the bus, so the driver goes to help him. Once on the bus the old man looks to the disabled seats, all occupied by people without disabilities or special needs, and no one moves. I decide to give him my seat; for me it’s the obvious thing to do, even being pregnant.)

Me: “You can sit here.”

Old Man: “Thank you, sweetie.”

(I stand up, and everyone on the bus notices my pregnancy. The old man, in a very loud voice says:)

Old Man: “Oh, when are you due?”

Me: “Just a few weeks.”

Old Man: “Congratulations!”

(After that, two very embarrassed people decided to get up and, without a word, pointed me to their seats.)

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Color Me Surprised

, , , | Learning | October 24, 2018

(I’m a philosophy teacher in high school, but a friend is very ill and asks me to cover her as an art teacher in elementary. I’m not used to dealing with eight-year-old students, and after this, I realize I really can’t do it.)

Me: “So, listen up. [Teacher] couldn’t come today. But I will be here to help you. Please finish the project you started last week; when you do it, please bring it to me.”

(This project it supposed to make them busy for at least one hour, but a girl comes to me just a few minutes after I gave the instruction.)

Girl: “Miss, I finished my project.”

Me: “Okay, then. Be sure it has your name on it and give it to me.”

(She brings it to me.)

Me: “Now, here, you have this mandala. [Teacher] wants each student to color one, to decorate the back wall of the class.”

(Just a few minutes later she is in front of me again.)

Girl: “I’m done!” *hands the mandala to me*

Me: “But you only painted the star in the center. What happened to all the rest?”

Girl: *in a very secure voice* “I painted it white!”

(I really didn’t know how to answer that.)

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Unfiltered Story #109371

, | Unfiltered | April 26, 2018

We are visiting a little city in Chile. Chileans usually pronounce “ch” instead of “sh” (like “chow” instead of “show”). My father also has a horrible pronunciation, no idea why.

Father: I think I’ll ask for shushi.

Sister: Sushi sounds great, dad.

(My sister and I start giggling. We all decide what are we going to have and the waiter, a young and charming boy with a big smile, comes to out table.)

Waiter: Have you decided what are you going to have?

Father: Yes, we want the shushi.

*Giggling louder*

Waiter: Great! Our chuchi is the best!

*Laughing Incontrollably.*

Unfiltered Story #105158

, | Unfiltered | February 6, 2018

(I have recently changed my dentist. Im 30 and I have never had any cavities before, but I go to a consult since I notice something weird in two of my teeth, I suspect they are cavities but they don´t hurt or bother me at all, and I don´t know what they look like)
Dentist: You have four cavities! What a disaster!
Me: Well, its the first four in 30 years
Dentist: This looks so bad! We need Xrays!
Me: Id have come earlier but they didn´t hurt and look very small, so it took me a while to notice them
Dentist: Four cavities! this is insane! Are you bullimic?
Me: No
Dentist: You sure? It clearly looks like bullimia
Me: Im not bullimic, Im not alcohol abusive either, I barely ever throw up.
(The doctor doesn´t believe me, and sends me to do the Xrays. I come back to have the cavities fixed)
Dentist: Are you sure you don´t throw up? This much cavities is not normal!
(By then, I felt filthy. I don´t throw up and I wash my teeth, but the big deal she was making made it look like I was her worse case in years. She fixed my cavities, which were all very supperficial, and I went home pretty worried and thinking about buying a different mouthwash, toothbrush and toothpaste. My boyfriend is having some friends over and I tell them what happened)
Friend #1: Four in your life? I get four cavities removed every time I go to the dentist!
Boyfriend: You cant see them cause they are in the back of my mouth, but Ive had several big fixes.
(The following day, two of my four fixes fall out while washing my teeth. I go to have them re-fixed. The dentist keeps telling me to suck it up, still implying I have an eating dissorder. The remaining two fall within a month, but this time I go to a different professional. Im already expecting to get yelled at for my poor dental condition)
Dentist #2: Hi darling! You look good! Let´s fix these shall we?
(She is now my usual dentist)

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