Mothers Say, “No,” But Can’t Hear, “No”

, , , , | Related | April 4, 2019

(My mom recently mentioned that she and my dad would love to spend time with me and my new boyfriend. I’m totally fine with that, especially because they’ve known him for years — since we were just friends — and absolutely love him. There’s just one problem: my parents live in another country, 4,000 miles away. This means asking my boyfriend of three months to take a nine-hour flight with me, and even though the trip wouldn’t be until July — it’s currently March — it’s a really intense invitation three months into the relationship! I’ve been hesitant, but today I am video-calling my mom. She’s a very direct and a very excitable person, so this is how the conversation starts.)

Mom: “You and [Boyfriend] should come to visit.”

Me: “Umm…” *changes topic*

(A few minutes later:)

Mom: “Look at the furniture!” *turns the camera around*

Me: “Wow! I love your new house; it’s beautiful! I’m really excited to see it at some point!”

Mom: “See? You and [Boyfriend] should come to visit!”

Me: “Subtle, Mom. You really worked that into the conversation well.”

Mom: *giggles* “I know… So, are you coming to visit!?”

Me: “Mom!”

(Eventually, I said yes. If we’re still together in five months, we’re traveling to Miami to see them.)

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This Punishment Is More Their Cup Of Tea

, , , , , | Learning | January 31, 2019

I’m a high school teacher and work in a school that is in a very problematic part of the city. That’s why we have classes until late, to prevent the students from spending too much time alone in their houses or the street.

There is a class I have to give that starts at 5:00 pm, so everyone, including me, is very tired.

One day, three students arrive late. They are supposed to get a note to the parents and a punishment because of this, but I know that they didn’t do it on purpose, so instead, I let them come into the class and ask them to sing and dance the “I’m A Little Teapot” song.

At first, they refuse, saying that they are embarrassed, but I ask if they wanted the normal punishment, so they start to sing and dance.

Since that day, not a single student has arrived late to my class.

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The Baby Bus Blues

, , , , | Friendly | October 25, 2018

(I am expecting my first baby; my due date is less than a month away. Because of a mechanical problem I have no car, so I go to the doctor on the bus. It isn’t a rush hour so I get a seat, but they are full by the next stop. A few stops after I got on, a very old man gets on the bus. He clearly has problems getting on the bus, so the driver goes to help him. Once on the bus the old man looks to the disabled seats, all occupied by people without disabilities or special needs, and no one moves. I decide to give him my seat; for me it’s the obvious thing to do, even being pregnant.)

Me: “You can sit here.”

Old Man: “Thank you, sweetie.”

(I stand up, and everyone on the bus notices my pregnancy. The old man, in a very loud voice says:)

Old Man: “Oh, when are you due?”

Me: “Just a few weeks.”

Old Man: “Congratulations!”

(After that, two very embarrassed people decided to get up and, without a word, pointed me to their seats.)

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Color Me Surprised

, , , | Learning | October 24, 2018

(I’m a philosophy teacher in high school, but a friend is very ill and asks me to cover her as an art teacher in elementary. I’m not used to dealing with eight-year-old students, and after this, I realize I really can’t do it.)

Me: “So, listen up. [Teacher] couldn’t come today. But I will be here to help you. Please finish the project you started last week; when you do it, please bring it to me.”

(This project it supposed to make them busy for at least one hour, but a girl comes to me just a few minutes after I gave the instruction.)

Girl: “Miss, I finished my project.”

Me: “Okay, then. Be sure it has your name on it and give it to me.”

(She brings it to me.)

Me: “Now, here, you have this mandala. [Teacher] wants each student to color one, to decorate the back wall of the class.”

(Just a few minutes later she is in front of me again.)

Girl: “I’m done!” *hands the mandala to me*

Me: “But you only painted the star in the center. What happened to all the rest?”

Girl: *in a very secure voice* “I painted it white!”

(I really didn’t know how to answer that.)

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